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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Does enquiries over the phone turn out to be a mere formality?

    These days, there is much bad news coming from our relatives or friends after hearing which we feel very sad but it is such a situation that we are not able to help them. In this situation, the only possible option we have is to console them by making a call. But again, no one knows how many people are calling the same person and the person might become more upset and sometimes may not like to reply to calls or messages. Does making a call and enquiring about their well-being turn out to be a mere formality because we not in a position to help them in any other way? By talking over the phone or by sending a message, are we really able to alleviate the grief of the people or does it escalate their grief?

  • #729444
    Be it relative or friend, it has become formality for us to inquire about the death and place our deep condolences in the obituary reference and we never ever understand as to how much pain and agony the aggrieved person is undergoing as every person who is calling them would bring back the old memory and that would further add fuel to already grieving family. In fact we are not helping them but giving more challenged situation to which they are trying to come out of the tense crying phase. Like wise we also have the bad habit of visiting the ailing person at the hospitals during the visiting hours thus the patient is put to great ordeal of explaining what has happened and how. So what the author said is right, in the garb of inquiring the person we are adding fuel to their agony and in the name of formality we are giving them more problems.
    K Mohan @ Moga
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #729459
    We are receiving much bad news these days and we are becoming very sentimental. Who are hale and healthy yesterday are having a problem today. This is making us very emotional. But we should not be panic and we should not lose our confidence. So when we are hearing the news we have no other way than to call them and talking to them over the phone.
    My distinct relative's son's marriage is planned for the 5th of this month. Yesterday night my relative's sister's husband passed away due to Corona. Now the whole family is in a fix. They are not able to postpone the event or not able to go ahead. I talked to him over the phone. But I couldn't do anything more than that.
    Many people may be facing such a situation. But it is not a formality but the only alternative. If necessary we have to take a calculated risk and try to help the people who are in need.

    always confident

  • #729472
    If someone is in any problem and we are in a position to help him we should offer our help, most probably, he will not accept our help but we have done our job for the sake of our relationship with him or at least for the sake of humanity. It results in twofold benefits - that he will have a good opinion about us and second, suppose, it happens that we need his help in future, he may be obliged to extend his help.
    But the author has taken the issue of showing sympathy or kind of help on phone to someone because we are not visiting each other nowadays, the author has assumed that he might feel disturbed as several other people might be disturbing him on phone. I think it's overthinking. However, if the author knows the nature of a particular person that he doesn't like to receive sympathy call, then she may think pros and cons before calling him.

  • #729506
    While our own relatives are in trouble, we cannot leave them alone rather we must extend our help as far as possible. This should be our foremost duty in such distressful situations. It would not be taken otherwise by our own relatives if their nature are known to us. Considering this being the corona phase, it is not advisable to call on them immediately to show our sympathy and they are even aware of pandemic situation. So they would not mind if we don't drop in their residence. Our condolences massage and expressing sympathy in such a situation would be enough to show our sensibilities in a given situation and if no response is made from other side, it will be treated as rudeness on our part. We must express our feelings in both the circumstances whether grief or otherwise.

  • #729536
    One thing is sure, be it a relative or friend, no one is happy as they are going through one ordeal or challenging situation than other. If we ask them what happened, how happened, then we must be prepared to listen and even reach out to them. One of my relative keep on asking any problem or any help, but he never cared to help anyone in the first lock down nor now. So when we are inquiring about others, be prepared to help them some way. I shared rice and oil with some who want them more urgently. Like wise each one of us can give some succor to those who cannot get anything right now.
    K Mohan @ Moga
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #729606
    I feel that in this pandemic situation when country is over flooding with cases we ate bounded and unable to help each other. But without help and support of our near ones we can never win over the situation. But, in zeal to help others sometimes we make lose to ourselves. Everywhere news of deaths and active cases is mounting and this is the main reason which stops us from helping each other. Modern world has provided with a lot of ways to help others. If we want to help somebody financially then we can use phone pay or anything else like this. Similarly online marts provide a lot of services which can be used with just a scroll. So what we are waiting for? Help your nearones and be safe yourself also.

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