You must Sign In to post a response.
  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Should we talk to those who does not listen but pretend to be listening ?

    Among our relatives and friends there are some eccentric persons who has the habit of looking around while talking with us and when we respond, they wont give their ear to us nor attentive and that makes us dull and not sure of continuing the matter or discussion. If the eye contact is made with the opposite person during the discussion we may tend to reveal even more than expected but when the body language and looks differ from our expectations we feel like moving away from them and it would be wastage of time with them. Any such experience with you ?
  • #732554
    If I happen to talk to any eccentric (as the author has said) or a retarded person I don't mind at all if he doesn't heed to me, rather, I let him speak to me provided that I am also free because I take him as a patient so I always feel sympathy for such people. If someone is intelligent as well as erudite and he doesn't heed to what I say then I have to assess what I am putting before him. If it is logical then I ignore him too because he must be arrogant and haughty. But if my conversation is illogical then surely I am a fool in his eyes and he is ignoring me.

  • #731543
    That is true. When we are telling something some people will not be much attentive and they will be concentrating on something else. When we are talking to them if we look at them we can understand whether they have any interest or not in the subject we are discussing. Another way to understand whether they are hearing or not is to ask questions and get the answers.
    It is not good on our part to force somebody to hear what we are telling. In fact, there is no necessity for us to tell them something without their asking. If we want something from them we can go request them to hear and reply to us.
    When a teacher is giving a lesson a student must be attentive and hear what the teacher is telling. Otherwise, we will be at a loss. The teacher is having every right to punish the student if he is not concentrating on the lesson. Otherwise, we have no right to ask anybody to lend their ear to us. It is their time and they know how best they can use that to their advantage.

    always confident

  • #732636
    It is absolutely necessary so that your message should reach to the person with whom you are making dialogues otherwise, you will feel insulted. There is no purpose of further deliberations if the Same trend continues. We have seen how the teachers are punishing pupils not taking attention to what they told in the classroom regarding any topic. The benefits of the teachings would not reach to them if they continue to behave in some irresponsible ways. However these pupils can be tackled with some stern steps. But it becomes difficult in the practical dimension to implement such strictness with the people. They would behave in the similar ways despite your reminders. They cannot be changed despite your request. The solution lies to offer them written messages if the situations require. In that way, your messages reach to them.

  • #731548
    I have come in contact with some of such persons who will pretend to listen to us but when we tell them something their mind will be distracted here and there. My opinion is that we should not communicate with such people as it is waste of our energies.
    Thoughts exchanged is knowledge gained.

  • #732642
    I read a line some time ago in a book by Robin Sharma, when we talk to anyone, most of the people are waiting for us to finish their talk, when should we complete our talk so that the person can speak. . This proves the same thing that when we are speaking, then the person in front is not listening to us but is only thinking about talking. Now in such a situation, the question comes, how do we understand that the person in front is listening or pretending to listen only. For this, there was a suggestion in that book that if a person is just smiling for about 1 to 2 minutes while listening to you and no one is responding, then you should understand that he is not interested in your words. In such a situation it is appropriate that we stop speaking. So according to me, you understand that if someone is just pretending to listen to you, then it is useless to say your things in front of such a person.

  • #732647
    If you know some people are weird, eccentric persons, or sick, it is better not to talk to them except for necessary things. If there is anything that needs to be reported to them, there is no point in not informing them. Other matters do not have to talk with them. But one does not have to insist that one should look the other in the eye while speaking. While eye contact is a valid form of speech, often everyone's mind may not agree with it. We do not have to pretend that he did not listen to us because he did not look at us. He pays so much attention to it, especially if it is something that is interested him. Some may pretend to be listening because they can't avoid you in any manner or you are very close to them. Then we have to think about whether what we are going to say is of interest to the other person or not.

    Learn to, or prepare to say only what needs to be said. Learn to say only where you need to say, and learn to say it as it should. Then such mental problems can be avoided.

    "Cheruthulli Peruvellam"
    small drops make a mighty ocean

  • #732663
    I have seen many people around me as told by the author. They do not hear others but reiterating their views to be followed by others. This can be done so if their view is correct in all respects. I also many times reiterate some of my views but I do so by holding strong base for that. But without understanding this, many people treat me in this list. When we are perfectly correct ,not correct according to our own only,we can reiterate others otherwise we should listen others.

  • Sign In to post your comments