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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Suggestions always not accepted but sometimes made others angry or hate

    Normally people do suggest others through their experience or knowledge. Though many times accepted by others it is painful to the suggesting persons when they got insulted or hate.
    Normally we can see the two /three wheeler drivers alerts the opposite direction drivers about road closure or light/indicator not switched off. The opposite persons accept such indications.
    My younger brother in my native who is diabetic got some injury in leg through his two wheeler and on approaching doctor for treatment, he happened to lose his toe fingers. By seeing his sufferings personally, I felt much bad.
    Last month I happened to see my close relative who also diabetic, suggested him to have regular walking as well to care legs without any injury. But that person took this otherwise and stopped talking to me. He further told all other relatives that I am interested in his hospitalisation. I made up my mind not to suggest others hereafter.
  • #732738
    My experience is that no one is willing to listen or accept what someone says. But when we observe something, our mind tells us to say what we know. So that's what we're trying to say. No matter how good things we say, we need to tell them in a way that is fully understood by the audience. Otherwise, they may think that what we say is ambiguous and understand the exact opposite. Similarly, if we feel the need to say something, we should look at the situation. If we go with a bit of advice while two people are fighting, we will get the beating of both of them. In such cases, the only way is to follow the world principle of silent scholarly adornment. There is a perception that the new generation knows everything. But we also know that many do not know at all. But it is good to think that they will tell you what they do not know. If that does not happen, and if we try to correct their unawareness, the opposite will happen according to the circumstances.
    "Cheruthulli Peruvellam"
    small drops make a mighty ocean

  • #732770
    What I observed that everyone of us are well informed and well knowledged and by virtue of it we want to take our own decision and tasks and thus does not want anyone to be contacted or taken suggestion. But on the other hand our relatives , freinds and others who are close to us want to give their free suggestion, probably out of their knowledge and know how but we do not consider those leads at all and try to do our work. And we get annoyed with those who give advise when we have not sought at all. But we should consider good suggestion from others, at least listen to them, need not follow.
    K Mohan @ Moga
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #732774
    The author is absolutely right, actually, the truth is that people will not like to take your advice till they feel the need of that advice, so in today's time it is prudent not to give any advice without asking. Many times our intention is to prevent any harm happening to the front and therefore we give them tips for caution. But if the person in front is the opposite, he will feel that we are doing him negatively or we want to Be he sick etc. When someone asks for advice, both our words and energy are saved and the value of our advice is also there. It is true that some persons who really want someone's best will try their level best to share every needful advice with the people in their world so that no one in the world has to face the same problem, but sadly, such a good person has got value from very few people.

  • #732776
    It should not be generalised in all situations as the author has evinced. I take this issue as three faceted:
    A: if the matter is related to the family then a suggestion should be given. We should not mind if our issues or siblings don't welcome our suggestion (nevertheless, I still suggest him/her)
    B: If we have friends or relatives and our relationship is good with him/her, moreover, he /she will accept or welcome our suggestion then we should suggest
    C: We should never suggest if a person is arrogant, an old aged, more knowledgeable and experienced than us.

  • #732777
    To offer advice to anyone now a days is makes the situation even tensed since they may not appreciate the motive behind such advice. From our end also, we must be careful when we are offering advice. The best way would be to offer the advice to our friends or relatives especially when he is alone, not surrounded by anyone. In that way, he would appreciate our gesture. Don't be straightforward advising a diabetic patient to control their food intake or avoiding sugary items. They would not mind if the same thing is suggested by his family doctor. You must be wise in choosing or your words and that too one should advise one's relatives in isolation so as to have positive effects.

  • #732836
    That is true. We have to get ready to face consequences when we suggest something to others. I am of the opinion that we should not suggest anybody anything unless otherwise, they ask. Even though we have good intentions in our mind they may not take them in the right spirit. It all depends on the person who is receiving our suggestions. We also should be ready to face criticism when we suggest something to others. The suggestion we give may have a negative effect on the other person. Definitely, the other person will comment against us.
    always confident

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