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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    It is easy to support others in grief, then why not yourself?

    When there is any sorrow or failure in someone's life around us, in our relatives, in friends, or other acquaintances, we always try to be their support to be given the courage and motivation they need. For this, we make them aware of many positive aspects in their life and many such sorrows in the lives of others. With some motivational things, we are also able to get them out of that sorrow. But then why when such sorrows become a part of our life, we are not able to bring ourselves to that level, at which level we can motivate ourselves and accept what happened soon and move forward. After all, why does a person always need emotional support from others in difficult times, can't we be our own emotional support for a lifetime?
  • #733532
    The major training given to me by our Grand father is to respond others immediately when a good or bad communication we receive. If marriage invitation or invitation for any function we should immediately intimate our wishes by letter if we are not able to attend; it is better to attend.
    Similarly if we get some bad news from others - surely it will reach us through somebody only and we should never expect the news should be given by the concerned persons, we should write a letter in responding them.

  • #733546
    One should have the mental stability to console himself when he was in troubles. Their mind should overtake the emotions because of his position. Once your mind can do that you don't require any support from anybody. But it is very difficult to behave in that way. My mother's father used to be like that. He has seen many difficulties in his life. But never waited for somebody to come and console him. He used to get back to the work and see what is to be done. Even in when tough conditions he never has shown any signs of anxiety or any other kind of feelings. Instead, he used to act very strongly and see that, other family members will never get lost in that worry. To some extent, I got a part of that quality from him. When something happens immediately I may get a little anxious but in a few minutes, I will come out of that anxiety and will start thinking the plan of action to come out of that situation. This I experienced many times in my life.
    drrao
    always confident

  • #733553
    The author gave a very good observation and what I wish to share that it is easy to convince others when they are in grief why because the grief is not felt by us and as the matter of solace we share our feelings and when it comes to our own, the grief is over whelming to which we are not habituated and never felt the same before. We also feel others should give us the sober feeling on our grief and some times that is not possible. Unfortunately we are alone responsible for our destiny and without being any body participated in our grief , we have to sustain the loss and we alone has to brave the situation.
    K Mohan @ Moga
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #733555
    We know that amid the sorrows of others, many are there to comfort them, to share their sorrows, and to remind them of the greats who overcame their sorrows. But the question is why we cannot find solace in our sorrows. The answer is very clear. What happens to others is happening to us.

    Everyone has their sorrows gripping and shaking their minds. No matter how brave he is. There is a belief among us that grief can be prevented if the mind is strong. I have to say that it is completely wrong. Those who have the presence of mind and are stronger in mind may not show sadness in front of others. But in a place where there was no one, he would be lonely and burst into tears. They do not show sadness on their faces, but their inner mind is hurting and crying. It's just that their presence of mind doesn't show it off. Anyone who is grieving needs someone else, or others, to comfort them. It does not matter if the person is big, small, strong-minded, or low-minded.

    "Cheruthulli Peruvellam"
    small drops make a mighty ocean

  • #733565
    We know that advising someone is easier than practising upon the same. Everybody faces problems, troubles, sorrows and in this situation, he/she wants someone with him/her who may console and stand by him/her. Any good words give fresh spirits and infuse new waves of courage and confidence. It happens with everybody and we all know new energy is generated when someone succours him/her.
    The question which the author has raised has sold stand though but it's not feasible to all except a few people. Generally, people need support to come out from the well of sorrow. It encourages them to face all challenges. Apart from this question if you are capable enough to fight against all odds without any external support it is hundred per cent surety that you will carve a niche in the hearts of people and suppose you fall in any trouble, hundreds of people will be standing around you to extend their support with open hearts.


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