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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    What is the right age to start controlling the children?

    Is it necessary for parents to dominate and control children from mischievous activities from the age of 2 or 3? Is it not their right to do the naughty things? Can't they enjoy their childhood?.

    Children don't do anything wrong if they can understand what they are doing is wrong. I have seen parents and other family members being harsh with the children by frightening them. They don't allow children to touch anything. The parents keep shouting at the children for even simple things. I have even seen parents beating such small children for spoiling simple things.

    Do we really need to control the children and make them have the fear to do anything? I have seen few parents telling we have to control them from now otherwise they will not obey us and will not be disciplined. Do we have to bring fear in those tender minds who just don't even understand what they are doing? At what age we can start to discipline the children? Please share your opinions about this.
  • #733674
    To my knowledge and understanding, the children are so kind and they can be moulded to our wish and choice but without coiersion and with love and affection. For that matter we have not chided or scolded or even beaten our both children as I especially behaved like a friend and not the father. That way both of them well connected to me and I could get them what ever they want. Children behavior is in our hand. If they behave rude. we have to be soft, if they behave loose, we have to be strict. For me I never found any problem with them. As they were studying at their time and playing at their will and getting outstanding marks. What else a parent wants when the children show all round performance beating others and surpassing their own record. One more thing the consistency from Nursery to the college level has to be appreciated here.
    K Mohan @ Moga
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #733689
    The kids who are 2 or 3 years of age did not understand what is wrong and what is right. So we should explain to them carefully and tell them what they should do and what they should not do. Sometimes they will not care for our words due to their innocence. In such a case we have to tell them some stories. These stories should tell them what happens if they do the wrong thing. Taking care of these children require a lot of patience. These days the parents are not having that much patience. Till the child attains an age of at least 9 years we should start controlling them and if they are not caring for our words we should see that they will be on the right path. Sometimes we may have to punish them also. Once they attain the age of 18 years we should treat them more friendly and we should give more importance to their interests rather than forcing our interests on them. Once they complete their education and get into a job the parents should treat them as friends.
    always confident

  • #733691
    There is no age as such before which we should allow the children to do all sort of things and start controlling them once that age is attained. Frankly speaking, the good traits are to be inculcated since quite beginning as it is not easy to change their habits afterwards. So, best course of action will be a balanced approach and give them freedom but check and control them when they cross the boundaries. It does not matter whether they are tiny tots or children of primary classes.
    Knowledge is power.

  • #733704
    I don't think the word control is appropriate in this case or for anyone, in today's time there is nothing like controlling anyone. Children are growing every day and learning something new every day. Nothing like age should determine when to raise expectations from children or teach them their responsibility. This is an experiment done every day, you yourself come out as a new example for the child every day, so be what you want the child to be. Control is not liked by anyone, so instead of controlling those innocent people, getting rid of the situations, will be more beneficial. Children themselves become wiser with experience. But yes, the elders or parents of the family must keep in mind that if the direction of the children is not deviating, if so, then support them, but in this support, your attitude should be friendly.

  • #733804
    Parents should not control their children, rather they should guide them. Little child understand her/his parents. We should permit our small children to do what they want to do but if they do something wrong which may harm them, we should stop them and the best way is to remove them from that spot or distract their mind. Beating them at a tender age is against humanity. We should never beat children. If a child has grown and he/she commits any blunder despite knowing it is wrong, then, we should make him/her understand what he/she has done is wrong and it should not be repeated as it is harmful for him/her. But if the child does not stop doing the activity we can scold him/her. If it does not work, then as the last step we can beat mildly on his/her buttock. We should never beat children on any other part of the body.

  • #733818
    Parents should never try to dominate or control children. Actually, the term control is somewhat misinterpreted. It's because of the willingness of others that a situation is controlled and we need to keep this in mind. What parents want is an obedient child and they force the child to remain obedient. Beating them or instilling some fear in the minds of children are some of the forces parents use to make them behave according to their wish. This can adversely affect the minds of children. What parents require in this case is making the child realize what is right and what is not. Good behaviour of the children should be appreciated and when they behave in the wrong way parents must disapprove it and correct it. When a child is wrong there is no point in beating the child and parents must tell what is right and why a certain act is wrong. In some extreme cases, one may punish children for their misdeeds but before that, the children must be told why something is regarded as a misdeed.

    "Life is easier when you enjoy what you do"

  • #733827
    According to me controlling is not at all necessary in case of any children at any age. But the control, dignity and system are in the hands of parents. In many houses parents have no time to just to talk with the children on somehow or other reason. The children whether single or more kept in the houses as prisoners and longing for love. This lack itself distract or drags them to outside or to televisions or computers or mobiles. In olden days children gave respect to parents and other house persons, by seeing this their children follows well and grow with manners.
    Nowadays parents have no system even taking their bath, food etc., in the guise of they 'have no time'. By seeing this children do afraid/hesitate to approach parents for any thing even for a chai. Children in many houses are neglected with the breakfast as both parents skip breakfast or end with some oats porridge, they pour,literally pour the same to the growing child without minding some tiffin for the children. In those days mother or father took more care in feeding the children; feeding here does not mean they are feeding with spoon but took care in their taking breakfast. In many houses there is no capacity of feeding breakfast due to their economy but in houses both parents working in good companies, they do like this.
    A government School teacher in Chennai North, found two or three children found in his class without breakfast and he started bringing breakfast from his house for them from the next day. By hearing this Headmaster of that school emerges the teachers to take a survey for the children without breakfast. This teacher, (I do not want to tell his name, as he refuses publicity) with the consent of Headmaster arranged breakfast for all such students by organizing fund collectively with other teachers and Headmaster. This is good for economically poor children but the children with sufficient economy strives without breakfast - who will take care?
    If parents are with systematic the children automatically grows well. I saw a small child playing himself alone with toys on the corridor of our apartments. I asked him to get in the house and play. For this they child's reply made me to think and worry. His mother annoys herself when he approaches her for anything as if she have many household work. As he seems his father busy with his mobile and his personal work, he hesitate to approach father. In this atmosphere only he came to the outside and playing himself.

  • #733858
    I don't think children should be treated in this manner to be controlled like a pet or animal in a zoo even they too don't deserve such behaviour anything which involves control should be avoided. I guess parents can make children aware of right and wrong through that implementation in their own life and with the use of example or simply the formula of reward and punishment but that punishment should not involve harsh methods. Children best learn through observing and seeing people around them do what you want to teach them. The more the parents use the harsh methods more the child get used to such things.
    It is better, to teach them, through methods of stories, cartoons and showing them rather than controlling or dominating them.

    "It is hardest thing in the world to be good thinker without being a good self examiner"

  • #733876
    Children have excellent power of adaptability and they are at the same time they are minute observers. When they see the smiling face of their parents once they show their homework to them, they become motivated. They would not like to do anything against their wishes initially and they need to be nurtured with the right education such as to have patience while the other party is talking, or should be a good listener when class sessions are continuing and lot more. Your preachings never go in waste. In nut shell, we can say they would behave in the similar ways as being trained and coached from our ends. Being rude unnecessarily cannot do any good to them. Only with the positive motivation and right guidance they can achieve their goals successfully.

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