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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Do not give opportunities to people to hurt you repeatedly .

    In this world surrounded by relationships, most of our sorrows are caused by some special relationship or our own. A person is not as saddened by his failure or defeat as he is sad when he is hurt by someone special.

    We are normal human beings, not any sage that we consider ourselves feelingless. We feel bad when someone hurts us, but when he/she apologizes, then it also gives us peace. Forgiveness is a good habit, but keep in mind that no one is taking the wrong advantage of your kindness. Many times it happens that we were hurt by someone special and we were sad for a few days, after forgiving them everything became normal and after a few days the same pain was given to you again by the same person and you are sad again.

    This sequence continues and many times it continues throughout life. People do not even realize that due to repeated hurt in this way, our mind also becomes sad and we spend a valuable time of life in sadness. Relationships are very important and we should handle them, but when a relationship is hurting again and again, then either accept that hurt forever as a part of that relationship or make a little distance from the relationship. Do not hand over your precious life to someone else, else you will regret it later.
  • #734120
    Nice thread from the author and many would have gone through the experience of getting repeatedly hurt for one reason or the other. There are some persons in our relations who does not like others in the relations and as soon as they spotted they keep on chiding indirectly and that would cause much hurt. For example of one of the relative does not turn up for any event or functions and suddenly he organize a function to which he expect others to participate and bless and have the dine with him. But this particular relative would tell him on the face that if you are not gracing any occasion why should anyone should now come to your function. Probably he is right but the way he chides and scolds others cannot be tolerated and feel like totally humiliated in front of others and that is bad train in that person and when he died none visited him.
    K Mohan @ Moga
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #734122
    I think everything is clarified in the last sentence of the thread. The control is in your hands only and if you let others control your feelings then your actions will depend on others' wish. All of us have to control our emotions and that is the most important thing. If your emotion is under control you will not repeat the same mistake again. If you are hurt by someone special for a particular reason why would you be hurt again by that person for the exact same reason? One must forgive others and to be precise, this forgiveness is relieving ourselves of the pain. But if you totally forget what caused you the pain then again you will feel the pain if the cause is repeated. If you do not forget the cause then you will be alert and act cautiously. Being too emotional is always a drawback because when we are emotional we lose our sense of presence and cannot judge what is right and wrong. Others actions are not in our control and we need to control ourselves in all situations.

    "Life is easier when you enjoy what you do"

  • #734146
    That is correct. We can help others when they are in need. But if somebody is trying to take advantage of your helping nature we should not allow them and we should show their place to them. There are people who never think about their own position and go out of the way to help others. Some selfish people observe this nature of the people and go on asking them for some help or other.
    A person will approach you for help and you will help him. After helping him 2 or 3 times when they come again for help you may not be able to help them. Then those people start blaming you as if you never helped them. Such people never deserve any help. We should plan our own acts and we should not get into unnecessary worries. Ignore people who are selfish and never take their words and don't worry. Then only we will have a happy life always.

    always confident

  • #734153
    We all are having sentiments and feelings and at the same time having relationships with other people, relatives or family members or friends, and in that relationship sometimes it might happen that we are hurt by one of them. The effect may be different on different people as some get hurt badly while others are not affected and take it casually. This depends on the inherent nature of the person and to some extent depends on the way one had been brought up. Those who are more sentimental and sensitive get badly hurt and try to avoid such situations or such persons who make them to have these sad feelings. For a sentimental person it is very difficult to change this trait as that becomes a part of the reaction and thinking process mechanism of the brain and happens spontaneously. On the other hand the thick skinned people do not get hurt and ignore such offences outrightly. Everyone cannot do like that.
    Knowledge is power.

  • #734156
    The author is right. We many of us saddened by the hurting words of relatives and even from friends. If it elders, we can set aside to some extent by giving respect to their seniority. It is good to move from them is a good thing as our counter would turn in any way as they are hurting us without valuing the relationship. In Tamil there is a saying, 'Kutram paarkking sutram illai' which means we cannot find faults from relations. It is simply their ignorance and there will be a time for realizing their mistakes and come to search of us. In such hours of their realization, we should never hurt them back or pointing the old one, then no difference between them and us.

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