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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Let us avoid doing tit for tat.

    If we only look at the reactions of others, we will have to mortgage our character and behavior. Everyone can react well to those who treat us well and react horridly to those who treat us horribly. It is only reactionary behavior. The justification for all the counter-reactions is that I did this because they did that. It includes our misdeeds too.

    Why do we leave the key to our conduct to others? Why do we blame others for not being able to control and shape ourselves? The root cause of all strife is the opposite reaction to reactions. It is better to be able to root the roots of one's conduct in their goodness. If so, branches will sprout from them that will bring relief to many. May we be able to confront evil with good, not confront evil with evil. May the Almighty help everyone with that!
  • #735744
    The policy of tit for tat is a policy of revenge and will not be a solution but will simply add more hatred and enmity between the parties. Until we remove the main cause of conflict and confrontation, there will not be a conducive environment for peace and happiness. I remember a story that long back I read when I was in my school that to settle the score two local dons collected their supporters and marched to a ground for the real physical fight to settle old scores and prove who is the mightier. They took all sort of hand weapons like knives, sticks etc with them and then reached the spot. One of the intelligent follower who believed less in violence asked his don to talk to the other don as what were the issues and which one they were not agreeing. The talks revealed that there were no issues except one that some of them were operating in others areas also. Both the dons told that no one will be doing that starting that day and the confrontation diffused and both went back to their respective areas of operation. This story gives us a valuable lesson that we should resolve things by talking frankly and do not go for tit for tat policy blindly.
    Knowledge is power.

  • #735753
    Tit for Tat is not the right solution since this would create the atmosphere of more hatred ness and revenge between the two parties and they even might resort to more dangerous approach to teach the lessons to other parties. Hence it is always better to resolve the differences with the cordial talks. During such a discussion, we could resolve the different issues which has turned the relationship more disgraceful. A frank talk between the two can pave the way for better relationship. Sometimes, the issues with they are facing is not so serious and can be settled with the mutual discussions.

  • #735755
    Yes, we should avoid that but I think there are not so many who wish to avoid the tactics of tit for tat. Tit for tat can be an endless process and may continue as long as both parties have time and energy but the outcome is just hatred and more hatred and nothing else. These are impulsive actions and one must realize the consequences. Our control is in our hands only and we need to draw the limit without being emotional. Controlling the mind is very important and necessary to have a cordial relationship with others.
    Sankalan

    "Life is easier when you enjoy what you do"

  • #735768
    Mostly Indians are the great followers of Gandhian principles and they would not have tit for tat attitude. Even the greatest enemies are pardoned and taken easy in life and they would not be in talking terms. Especially the senior citizens who had the tiff in the family long back would part ways and never interefered in any issues or affair and thus they are not in tit for tat mood. However the children and grand children of the same families feel the aloofness of relatives and they try to reach out to forget the bitter past. But still I find many are not in talking terms and behave as if nothing happened.
    K Mohan @ Moga
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #735770
    Our behaviour and conduct while socialising with fellow humans decide what image of ours we get built in their eyes and accordingly they treat us. Our treatment with all should be cordial. and cheerful, consequently, people will speak good words about us but if we are rude to them then rudeness will return as ramification.
    Tit for tat they can do as they are entitled to do so but for us, it is not good, we should not treat them badly to take revenge if they dont treat us well.
    One of my late uncles would visit every relative after a few days. He would visit us every week or sometimes two or three times in a week. We would also visit him regularly. One of our relatives would not visit him but the uncle would visit him regularly.
    One day he came to our home, we also sat around them as he was one of the oldest alive members of our clan. Then he said that he would go to him (the relative who would. not visit him). I asked him "Uncle, why do you visit him when he doesn't come to you". He replied," If I also become like him and stop visiting him then what is the difference between him. and me?"

  • #735776
    I agree that tit for tat is no good. We should ignore the acts of others and we should behave reasonably. But in certain situations, we may not be able to do that.
    For example in a company if the workmen go for a strike to see that their demands will be agreed upon by management, what the management has to do? Initially, management may agree on whatever possible to them and negotiations will take place. But they may not come to an understanding and the workers may go on strike. That is the tat from the workers. There should be a tit from the management. In such conditions, we can't ask any party not to go for tit for tat. As mentioned by Umesh, everything can be solved by negotiations. But sometimes to show the strengths of each party some tit for tat actions should happen. Personally, I never like or go for tit for tat actions. It all depends on the nature and mentality of individuals and the relations they have with the other party also.

    drrao
    always confident

  • #735838
    I totally agree with the author, we should try to avoid the policy of tit for tat but it really possible to follow it? I mean its has a simple means that do not react to others behavior at the same time as they all have their values and different environment around them and their responses or behavior are based on them only. If we are able to avoid it then it would be better for our own environment. But the main problem is that most of us do not have control over our emotions and that is why we respond immediately and forget to avoid the policy of tit for tat.


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