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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Marriages -from mutual diffusion, fusion and bonding to contradiction, conflict and conflagration

    The above is not a list of rhyming words. But these are words which can aptly express the real changes married life has undergone for last few generations. The changes are happening gradually over years. This makes us doubt whether the institution of marriage itself will stay.

    A man and a woman brought up in two different situations come together with a lifelong commitment to stay together. Each one imbibes something from the other. Each one sheds or discards something of individual characteristic. That is they mutually diffuse. The result is they fuse well and there results a strong bonding of emotions and purpose. From then on it is almost like conjoined twins. They mutually complement and supplement. If one is hit both get the pain. If one gets happiness, pleasure is there for both.

    This though may sound Utopian imagination now, was the reality in most marriages earlier. It is still happening in many, though quite rare in numbers, even today.

    However overall, it starts with confusion, either o them are not ready to shed their individual characteristics and go, not ready to absorb other's characteristics even though good and imitable.
    In atomic bonding the extra unwanted energy is released. In human bonding the heat energy of individual ego is released. In the absence of fusion bonding both individual bodies high energy to stay so and this energy slowly burns them or in confrontation, leads to a destructive conflagration.

    The difference is that there can be varying degrees and forms. This post is prompted by my observation during last few decades.
    Members may discuss from their observation too.
  • #736708
    A marriage is a bond formed between two human beings. The strength of the bond depends on mutual sharing and sacrifice. These bonds are similar to two types of chemical bonds. Ionic bond where one atom sacrifices its electrons to the other atom. Similarly, a wife and husband can also stay together by sacrificing something for the stability of the other partner. The second type of bond is a covalent bond. In this, each atom will share one electron and both the electrons will become the property of both the atoms. Similarly. a wife and husband should share whatever they have with the other and then can stay together. In a chemical, the atoms will go by some fixed ways and means so there will not be any disputes and may stay longer. But human beings are not like that. They have their own thoughts and behave as they like. That is where all the problems start.
    drrao
    always confident

  • #736711
    Marriage is a social bond or contract between two people. It continues as long as both partners have tolerance for each other. Nobody is perfect - this fact and reality should be firmed in their minds, this is the point which keeps them together. Love, care, affection, money, prosperity etc are also essential parts of a happy married life but tolerating each other and ignoring shortcomings by both of them is indispensable for a successful married life, else divorce may break this relationship easily.
    The author has shown his concern that the sustainability of marriage in society is on the decline and his concern has some valid and solid reasons too. This wave is coming from a western society where marriage has lost its importance. It is not essential to get married while living together as spouses. It is becoming normal in Indian society also. Parents have no control over their issues and most of the parents of this class don't mind it at all.

  • #738048
    So, shall we say that marriages are going through an evolutionary process? For a marriage to last, there must be a perfect understanding and respect for each other. For this perfect understanding, one has to listen to the other and vice-versa and this is a continuous process. Actually, for any kind of relationship, this understanding is essential. Somehow the tolerance level of people has reduced to a great extent and people started to think that they can manage things of their own without the help of others. This feeling may have given rise to less understanding among some couples and that's why there is a contradiction. The couples have to spend quality time among themselves which may be missing in many cases because of the nature of work. To understand each other one has to spend time with the other person and even if there is any contradiction or chance of a conflict it can be sorted out during the discussion. In a relationship, both have a say and if any of the partners think they are right and the other is wrong then the problem starts. Differences will be there between each people but the important thing in a marriage is understanding the differences and managing them effectively.
    Sankalan

    "Life is easier when you enjoy what you do"

  • #738055
    @738048 , Like any other factor in our life, marriage is also undergoing changes or we may even say evolution. We can believe that the man-woman union started once the two human forms -man and woman- came into existence. When the numbers grew , there came some kind of system in this. There were categorisations and systems based on various ways of choosing the partner. There also came different systems and traditions based on the number of partners at a time. But by and by all these tapered into one-one man at a time unions. Probably having reached a logical and ideal point, human yearning for change is now leading to more evolutions. Good or bad -only time will tell.


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