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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Why love marriage is a taboo?

    Love marriages have always been looked down in our society. While both love and arrange ones have their own pros and cons, but it's just not in the hands of Individual to not fall for love. Many people believe in love marriages yet do arrange ones just because they didn't found the right one.There are many arguments stating, love marriages are more fragile and end up soon.

    But I have seen even arrange marriages to fall apart, and love marriages still running strong. It just depends on the individual, people who are ready to break odds can be successful in any kind of marriage.
    Earlier parents used to also not support love marriages, but lately I have seen parents and families have started accepting the fact that even love marriages can be successful. There is a lot more trust and friendship between the two, which in case of arrange one is less.

    What are your views? Should love marriage still be treated as a taboo? Or is it high time we should accept it too and respect the individual's decision?
  • #737796
    We can't say love marriage is taboo. There are instances where love marriages are sustained for a long and there are divorce cases even in arranged marriages also. The percentages may vary. But there are families going on well after arranged marriages as well as love marriages.
    It all depends on the two people involved. The wife and the husband. They should trust each other. They should be ready to adjust if necessary for the sake of the other person. Then their travelling together will go smoothly. If that nature is not there in any one of them, going together for a long time is very difficult.
    As mentioned by the author earlier days love marriages were not accepted by many parents and the couple was going away to their own families. But these days parents started adjusting themselves to the demands of their children and they are accepting love marriages also.

    always confident

  • #737799
    Love marriage is not taboo in our society. But what is love marriage and what is arrange marriage, I have this view about it-

    Love marriage: You know Rajesh Khanna and Dimple Kapadia, both were husband and wife and they were actors in Hindi movies too. Their elder daughter Twinkle Khanna was also a great actor.She had love affair with Akshay Kumar, the famous actor. One day Akshay Kumar came to meet his girl friend Twinkle Khanna at her residence, her mother Dimple Kapadia was doing some household chores. Twinkle said to her mother," I and Akshay are going to marry today evening. We thought that we must inform you".

    I think this is the best example of love marriage where parents are simply informed at the eleventh hour let alone taking their permission.

    Arrange marriage: I have a friend who is very close to me. He had several girl friends in his life but he did not marry ,when he decided to marry he chose arranged- marriage. Only the parents and other elderly people of both sides discussed this matter and fixed the date of marriage. Both the girl and boy didn't see each other, nor talked on phone to each other. Now they are a happy couple. I think this is the best example of arrange marriage in this age.

  • #737802
    Times are changing and society is also changing with that. Many families which were against the love marriages are now advocating for it. Many parents feel relieved if their children go for love marriage and they also wholeheartedly accept it in front of relatives and friends.
    So, I do not think that it is a taboo anymore. Only in some conservative families or societies it is still prevailing. That would also fade out with time.

    Knowledge is power.

  • #737807
    What I feel that love marriages are likely to fail sooner or later for many reasons. That the very understanding of each other was for the pleasure and time being and it cannot be sustaining as difference of opinion do crop in. As most of the love marriages are without the parents consent, even interference from them is minimal or nil. So if any dispute arise between the two theycannot go back to the parents. The ego problem sets in most of the love marriages because the earning becomes the talk of the matter and each one wants to dominate their position to the hilt. Even in courts the cases on love marraige divorce is more and the reconciliation is very less. But there are instances when the parents having one daughter or one son has to agree for the ultimate love marraige and anyhow reconcile to live with the arrangments that were forced.
    K Mohan @ Moga
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #737812
    In the present days love marriage is not at all a taboo. It is happening more . To say it as matter-of-fact-ly, nowadays what is said as love marriage is simply those marriages where the parents are not involved in the selection for the bride or groom or the children. Most parents easily agree for that and even pride saying that their son/daughter did not give them the trouble of match-hunting. Only a miniscule cases there is some disagreement or opposition.

    In fact what I observe is that except for the match selection, parents are involved and even the marriages are becoming more expensive, showy and gaudy with more focus to the paraphernalia and extravaganza than the basic core matters.

    In the earlier ways when there were really 'love marriages', the boy and girl loved each other in spite of many difference in their individual family, cultural, traditional, financial, social and life-style backgrounds. So the parents of either or both sides opposed. But as the crux and main ingredient was mutual love, the couple took it upon themselves to get married against all odds and so such marriages were simple, devoid of all opulence.

    Getting to see that many of such self-chosen present day marriages very soon end in separation and divorce, may tell us that the real bonding love was not there . Hence we cannot see olden day real love marriages nowadays.

  • #737818
    When something is not taboo why should someone treat it taboo? It is mentioned in the latter part of the thread that love marriages are accepted and moreover the term marriage is a legal one and there is no obligation to make it a social occasion. When the legal fraternity doesn't have any objection to love marriages I don't think we should interfere in deciding about something and brand it as legal/illegal, acceptable/unacceptable, etc. Marriage is between two people and the less the interference of others the better.

    "Life is easier when you enjoy what you do"

  • #737837
    If you take a simple decision of life yourself, then the entire responsibility falls on you, and love marriage is one such thing. Even today, many parents want that they should take care of their children's marriage so that the social image is also created, the life of the children is also happy. Marriage is an important decision and whether it is love or marriage, it is necessary to take a thoughtful decision in both. Love marriage problems come when there is a problem of the cast, if there is only one cast, then it is already love cum arranged marriage takes place, although now the time has changed and now society makes fewer objections to marriage in the different cast.

  • #737838
    People look at love marriages as normal things and feel fine about such marriages. But a few love marriages are not taken well by family members and create chaos. What happens when a love marriage is not accepted is because in such marriages children ignore parents completely and which parents don't expect from their children. Though marriage is between two people and their choice matters, it hurts many parents when their children don't take them into confidence.

    The second point is how long do these relationships long. They may be short and there can be an immediate breakup or it can lead to a prosperous life. There is no guarantee that every love marriage can last long and this is the case with the arranged marriages too. Arranged marriages fall apart at times when there is no consensus and misunderstanding between a couple.

    There is one more point to add that arranged marriage does not mean the authority of parents to get their children married without their consent. Parents can suggest look at that boy or a girl and tell us how you feel about him or her. If it is fine they get married. Only after the consent of a boy or a girl do marriages happen. Forceful marriages are deemed to fall we should always remember that.

  • #737864
    Married life is a successful only if understanding and giving up policy followed. Otherwise ego creeped up and ruin the life of married couple. Girls of present era uttering a super word,'how can I marry a person known before' . In earlier, couple lived and lives more than 50 years and more and they are considered as fool nowadays. Lovers are minding only others plus points during the love and they talk, expressed only their plus points and both nodding their heads in the fear whether the other should not left. But once marriage is over the ego in either or both raise its head and leads to break in the marriage life.

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