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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    How long the parents should have attachment with the children ?

    It is the fact that we are nurtured , taken care off and being made the responsible person in the life and all credits goes to the parents. While some says that as soon as the boy or girl attains teen, the parents stop interfering into the lives of children and let they mend their ways. But invariably parents are with the children even after their marriage and the bond is unending. But too much affection and attachment with the children proving to be no starter for the child at grown up stage as they fail to take decision on their own. Any comment ?
  • #737825
    Parents will have attachment with their offsprings throughout the life but reverse might not be true. It is the rule of the nature and when the children become adult they would like to take their own decisions though some of the humble and meek ones would also take advices of elders time to time. Parents do for their children everything as per their duty and affection but children will forget all this when they enter their own world and few will remember the tough life that parents had during their upbringing. This is a fact of life and if someone is having children who take their care till the day end of their lives, they are very lucky.
    As far as the love and attachment of the parents is considered they keep having it with their children, inspite of the good or bad behaviour of the children with them.
    Parents who interfere minimum in the matters of children are generally liked more.

    Knowledge is power.

  • #737828
    Parents love their children so much so that they can make any sacrifice for their children but not necessarily their children would remain obliged to them for their sacrifice. They may change once they are grown ups. There might be so many reasons for such a change in their behaviours. However, parents would not change the same love and affection as shown by them In their childhood days. They would not tell anyone regarding their tortures received by their children despite their mental sufferings. Hence parental love is one sided, their upbringings would realise only when they turn old and are put in the similar conditions as their parents lived. Those parents are lucky enough to enjoy the affection of their children throughout their lives.

  • #737830
    Parents love their children immensely. They care about them more than they care about themselves. They are true well-wishers to their children. If their child is in trouble they can't have peace until his / her problem is solved. Their love and affection for their children can't be measured and scaled, even their children become adult and become father of their own children but parents are always parents they are still worried about their children.
    It was extremely hot day. It was very difficult to go out in sun. A young farmer was working in open field. His father was asking him to not work, instead he should work when weather is changed in evening but the man continued working. Then his father went in and brought his grandchild in his lap and stood near his son where he was working. He said to his father," Why have brought him? It is too hot for my child". Father replied,"You are worried for your child. Why don't you think that you are my child?"

  • #737831
    It is an important subject but its final decision is made by the culture of the society along with the rites, rituals, etc. of the family. If we look in India, we will find that here children are kept under their protection even for a long time, and in some foreign countries, children take the decision of their life after themselves. Attachment with children is a natural process, but the attachment does not mean that children should not be taught how to live life. There comes a time when children grow up and they have to face many things alone, at such a time the love and affection of parents should become the strength of the children, not their weakness.

  • #737845
    The love between parents and their children is unending even after the marriage of children. This is such a bond that keeps both parties attached to each other. Parents are a blessing for children so are children for parents and hope in bad times. As for living together with parents is concerned, I think there is no problem staying with parents. When parents didn't leave their children alone in thick and thin and groomed, educated and provided all comfort in childhood, why should children leave them.
    Taking responsibility is a different thing and yes, parents should allow their children to do all work and pass the entire responsibility on their shoulders as soon as possible. In this case, I would opt to give responsibility to children at a very young age even before marriage so that they understand different shades of life and be ready for possible challenges. For making children responsible we don't need to leave parents and live in another place. In giving children responsibility, we are doing an injustice if we are not able to take care of our parents; then we are losing the crux of responsibility!

  • #737846
    But the take here is how far the children understand their parents and their sacrifice.
    K Mohan @ Moga
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #737854
    The attachment between the parents and their children should be lifelong. When children want some help parents should come forward and the same way when parents want some help children should come forward.
    Attachment is different and interference is different. A child who is just learning how to walk should be supported by their parents till they learn to walk. Once they start walking on their own, we should allow them to walk on their own. So parents should support their children up to a stage and once they are on their own you need not support them or make them follow your instructions. But it is not that we should cut our attachment with them.
    As children grow and start earning on their own, parents should leave the matters to them and once in a while you can advise them but should not force them. As the parents grow old children should take care of them. They should hold their hand and see that they will be happy at the fag end of their lives.

    drrao
    always confident

  • #737860
    In an office or house or workplaces, we never give up our entrusted work in spite of others. We, knowingly or unknowingly entrusted by the Supreme power or God by giving children. Many of us in spite of taking treatment have no children till death. This is my humble view that we should never skip or evade ourselves from loving children till last breath.
    We have no right to avoid or reduce our attachment towards children and many of trying to detach themselves from the children with fear of their separation or by false thinking of their privacy. We have no right to worry or otherwise if they separate or separated as this is our action. I never left my parents till their last breath. Why don't think like this in case of husband or wife and reduce attachment after certain years of living.

  • #737869
    The attachment should remain but the interference should not. If parents keep on interfering in every situation then the children will be irritated and won't be able to handle things of their own. The children will become adults and must learn to take responsibility. As long as children are unable to take decisions parents can help them and at the same time, parents have to guide the children to make their own decisions. In the beginning, parents feed the child and after some time they allow their child to have food themselves. If they keep on feeding their children the children will become used to it and won't be able to learn the procedure to have food. It is the same for all other aspects. First parents will show the children then must allow them to do it themselves. In this way, they will be able to take small responsibilities step by step. This has got to do nothing with attachment. Affection and attachment are necessary and at the same time, it is also necessary to teach the children how to manage things of their own.
    Sankalan

    "Life is easier when you enjoy what you do"

  • #737987
    The attachment and interference goes hand in hand as the parents feel the child is always child.
    K Mohan @ Moga
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #738063
    Parents will remain parents and children will remain children to them till the last. The attachment is also similar.

    However for children the attachment to parents may slightly loosen as they enter into more relationships and activities in their life. But for parents it will remain without any reduction and will be more in later years especially when they had to stay away from each other.

    In Sanskrit love or affection is 'sneham'. Sneham also means oil. Just as oil lows down and not upwards, the parental affection towards the children is more , smooth and easy always, as it flows down only.

    I do not think there should be any control or limiting period in parent-child-parent attachment. Let it be perennial and copious always.


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