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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    You can't always meet everyone's expectations.

    We have discussed on the forum, we should not expect from others because we always have expectations from others but at the same time we also try to fulfill the expectations of others. But along with these we also have some expectations from ourselves and we want to do that too. Now the question comes that who should we give priority in life, many times we try to fulfill the expectations of others because doing this also gives us happiness, but by doing this we can really keep people happy? There is no end to expectations and perhaps there is no certainty of happiness of people, in such a situation it becomes a little difficult to fulfill everyone's expectations.
  • #743405
    It is ok to try to make everyone around us and it is a sign of being a good human being and nothing is wrong with that but when this behaviour converts into people-pleasing behaviour even at the cost of our mental peace that is when the problem creeps in. When we prioritise others before our happiness just to create an image that we can't retain for life but just to make someone happy.

    And regarding the expectations, we should only have expectations from ourselves not from others and we will stay happy. Because when we expect too much from others and they are not fulfilled it makes us very sad and impacts our day to day life.
    Ultimately we are on this planet as an individual even though we opt to be part of community and groups to survive but it is also true that we can't make others happy if we ourselves are not happy. So stay happy make others happy but not at the cost of your own happiness, have expectations but from not others but from yourself only.

    "It is hardest thing in the world to be good thinker without being a good self examiner"

  • #743409
    A balancing effort is always better. For the sake of others, we should not lose our mental happiness. At the same time for our happiness, we should not make others lose. Helping others when they are in need is OK. But we should not get into problems by helping the wrong people.
    When we have food sufficient for one person, you can some part of that to you a person who is hungry. It is good. But donating the entire food you have and sleeping with hunger is not required. When there is no oxygen in the chamber you should first get your oxygen mask connected to you before you try to help another person to have his oxygen mask. Otherwise, you will not be there to help others.
    But we are not supposed to demand others to help us forgetting their own survival. Nobody appreciates the same and once they know the mentality of such person nobody will come to help when he is really in need also.

    always confident

  • #743426
    It is not possible to make everyone happy and satisfy everyone's expectation. Even if one tries to do that then there will be no end to that because whatever you do in this world people will again come back to you for more and more. Helping a needy person is one thing but satisfying someone's expectations is totally different aspect. One interesting thing in this matter what I have observed from my personal experience is that when you do a lot of things for others then people take it in the normal way but if you miss a single thing then there is a series of complaining and telling that they have not been properly helped and taken care. So what is the use of doing so much for other people when they are so thankless and so selfish.
    Knowledge is power.

  • #743430
    You cannot be in a position to help others always but helping others at the cost of ruining your own work is not desirable. You can feed a hungry person if he is not in a position to meet his requirement at some point. Under that situation, two things might happen - either he is obliged with your help or he may be asking more in the next time. It is because of your generous nature his expectations will be more than what you anticipate. In that way, there is not the question of any satisfaction despite your help time to time. Before you help others, please see that you are not unduly affected while satisfying his needs.

  • #743439
    Keeping people happy is a difficult task. Usually, we come across people who have never-ending expectations from others. Thus, it is impossible to satisfy others by meeting their every expectation. A person's life doesn't mean to fulfill only the wishes of someone else. We all have some expectations from ourselves that we must respect. It is good to give value to others' desires, but going against our wishes at every point is not justified. We need to explain to others very clearly so that they never misunderstand us.

  • #743448
    It is very difficult for us to keep with the expectations of others because, when we have limited time for ourselves, we cannot fan out to others and keep them happy. For example last week I had been to Tamil Nadu for three days and I know whole lots of relatives where waiting and expecting us to visit them. But the program was tight and the time was little. So we avoided everyone and returned after our work. And we know the comments would be rave and damaging also but we cannot give adherence to them because we have our own priority of life and that should be attended and the time given to others are out of our free time and not at the cost of our real time. Let them understand our problem and if they fail, it is their mistake because we cannot adhere to there expectations at the cost of our pending work since long years.
    K Mohan @ Moga
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #743458
    Yes, this is true we should create a balance, when we do something to fulfill others expectations it means we think it's our duty or responsibility and when we talk about duties it also has some limits.

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