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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Who needs to understand, the advisor or others.

    I have an acquaintance who is considered to be a very sensible and good woman and people often take advice from her in times of trouble or in a confusing situation, so now she has started giving advice without asking habitually. Although she is not a professional counselor, her behavior is such that people like to talk to her, but there have been some times when she forcibly started giving advice or orders to the same people without asking and people did not like so. Is it really true, you only like someone's interference in your life when you want it, and you don't like the same interference when the person itself gives any further advice without asking? Who needs to be understood in such cases, the adviser or others.
  • #743541
    For that matter many refuse to meet others and consult for any advice or discussion and they feel they are competent enough to arrive at a solution and let there be agreement or the opposition to it. That way many people developed on their own and in course of time they have become the advisers to others even not asking for. Whom should we advise? This is the tricky question to which very few can answer. That those who already posted of the issue and matter, they know how to tackle the situation and they need not depend on any others advise. But there are few who do not know anything and yet pretend that they would take actions on their own. Others comes to us just to test our patience and advise giving ability to which we feel elated and give free advise as if they are really waiting for our surge to do so.
    K Mohan @ Moga
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #743549
    It happens. If you want her advice, you have to bear with her when you don't want also. Whether you implement it or not you have to hear her. Otherwise. next time when you have a need she may not help you. So as an individual you have to think and decide. She is not a machine to talk when you switch on and stop talking when you switched off. Professional advisors will never give you any suggestions free of cost. But when a lady is giving free of cost we should admire her and tolerate her.
    Some people will have the habit of interfering in others matters. We can tell such people not to come in between. At the same time, we should go to such people even though we are in a need. Generally. it is better we solve our problems on our own. The third person may not have a full understanding of your issue and their suggestions may not work for you always.

    always confident

  • #743550

    Madam, your question is very interesting because the human mind is in the habit of searching for a solution for the problem persisted to it. For that, it searches in the responses taken from others. Sometimes, they may become advice or suggestions to the mind. Therefore, it depends upon the mental state of the person whether to receive the advice given by others. At the same time, the mind cherishes giving its knowledge to others who are eager to receive it. That is the interest of the person in common. So, giving advice and taking information is a common factor to the mind. So, both ones are to be taken in a positive way by us.

    I believe in a positive attitude. I like those who criticize me.

  • #743558
    Both need to understand to avoid further conflict. If you forcibly ask somebody to do something then the person may think of it as an interference and there is every possibility of non-cooperation. Your acquaintance has developed a habit of giving advice because many people consult her and seek her advice when they are in trouble. Sometimes one may think that the other person requires some advice and accordingly may start advising but in reality, the other person may have a different plan. This has to be understood by the person giving advice. Counsellors suggest some ways after thoroughly analysing the issue and they do it for people who need their help. It is good to advise your friends, near and dear ones but whether the other person likes it or not depends on personal choice. We should not think beforehand that the other person will gladly accept our advice since they did it on earlier occasions and we need to judge the situation and restrain ourselves accordingly.

    "Life is easier when you enjoy what you do"

  • #743576
    People want advice only at the time they really require it or need it. No one will like an unsolicited advice. This is normal human nature. The person who in his enthusiasm and excitement starts giving advice without it being asked by someone, is doing a mistake and sometime it may lead to some disastrous situation. So we should be careful in this aspect that advice is to be given only when someone is asking for it. If someone is forcing one's advice on us without our asking for it then we should politely tell him to stop and do it later when it is really needed. There is no point in wasting time in one sided communication.
    Knowledge is power.

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