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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    This is also a difficult stage.

    For any parent there is hardly anything more valuable than his child, every person loves his child more than himself, whether it is a mother or a father. Yet there comes a time when children have to be away from parents, even for a short time, and especially when this distance is more important for the child's future and career. In earlier times the situation was different but today most of the children prefer to go to metros or the best colleges for higher studies after the 12th.

    This situation is very difficult for many parents when they send them away from themselves only for the benefit of the children and if the parent is single in this situation then the problem probably increases. I have a relative who, as a single mother, raised her child almost exclusively on her own and had no dreams other than her son. Now that child has grown up and may have to go to the hostel for higher studies. This situation is also a bit painful for that woman but she does not want to become a hindrance in the career of the child.

    Do such situations come in the life of all parents when children are away from them for career purposes? If this is to happen, then how should parents prepare themselves for it so that the balance of both emotions and career remains. There are many writers among us who must have gone through this situation, I would like to know your experiences, which will probably help other parents as well.
  • #745846
    Yes, the parents suffer from loneliness as much as the children suffer from homelessness. The child feels more uncomfortable at the beginning as they cannot adapt to the new environment and home environment. On the other hand, the parents become more thoughtful with the child. When they learn to adjust to the situation, then a combination is gradually formed. However, I think parents are always more worried and if they can't communicate for any reason, they become restless due to security reasons. In my case, if any reason my mobile become switch-off iI scared thinking is there any problem.
    Believe in the existence of God the superpower.

  • #745850
    Parents are always worried for their children and a time comes when calmness exists in the home where both parents and children adopt non communicative modes. During that stage the children remain engrossed in their studies having no time for a long talk with their issues. Parents are maintaining silence so that time of their children is not lost unnecessarily in unfruitful talks. Such calmness shown by both the parties are desirable for achieving a better career for the children. With the progress of time, the children are grown up having attained responsible jobs and remain far apart from their children. In such situations, communication between the two are maintained primarily due overindulgence of their children in their job areas. However, this phase provides satisfaction to their parents because of the progress made by their children. The only drawback felt by their parents is non lifting of the mobiles in case they are interested to communicate.

  • #745863
    If the mother has only one child and being the single parent, the entire love and affection revolves around the only child and there would be lots of hopes and expectations from the mother. But the child would not understand the sacrifice and challenges faced by the mother and he wont realize the fact that he should look after her and his success alone matters. But here the mother has to part from child and he would stay back in the hostel for higher studies. For the boy also it would be great challenges that every thing was taken care of mother all these days and suddenly he cannot mend ways on own and for mother the parting is hell of time and she cannot reconciled by anybody because the entire world is her son. Only the God should give enough strength for the mother to live alone and have contact with the child now and then.
    K Mohan @ Moga
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #745875
    That happens in the lives of many people. The children will leave their parents and go to a new place for their education or job etc. I left my native place when I was 16 years for higher education and then for a job. My parents were staying in my native place only. But I have no chance to settle there.
    Really it is very painful. When I left for a job from the native place my father came to the bus stand to see me off and he was having tears in his eyes when he was telling me to be careful. Even after 30 years, I couldn't forget that and still, I remember the words he told me.
    These days I am seeing some children who are staying in the same place where their parents are staying also are. preferring staying separately. I feel that is not a good practice and we should not stay separately leaving our parents even when there is a chance to stay together.

    always confident

  • #745879
    Although it seems painful it is part of life to accept change and be ready for the change if you want to grow up. I remember when my father came to Delhi with me to find a PG for me after graduation for my post-graduation, and my brother after his 12th he was very emotional but he did not show us those emotions and made a brave face the whole time instructed us to live carefully and all the important things about the life ahead.
    But since he has always been so strong it made us strong too. And I am really thankful for getting out of my city to explore many new options. We can study at our own native places as well but the kind of exposure that living alone provide is something which a student should have, to bear ones own responsibility and not depend on parents for everything, I feel his mother will not regret sending her child out because it will only make that child stronger later.

    "It is hardest thing in the world to be good thinker without being a good self examiner"

  • #745943
    Parents and children are having a very affectionate and delicate relationship with each other. Whenever such a situation comes that they are to be separated whether it is due to the children's education or after the marriage of the child, the pain of separation becomes intolerable and they suffer during that phase. In some cases it is there to such an extreme extent that the child leaves the hostel and goes back to home and plead that he would not go back. But the career is anyway the most important thing in the life of a student and with heavy heart the parents force him to go back. I have seen some such cases and the plight of the parents. It is rely a difficult situation and parents should somehow understand that affection and love for their children is one thing but education and career are also equally important and the parents have to keep a control on their sentiments and feelings.
    Knowledge is power.

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