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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    It is not proper to judge people and interfere in other people's affairs and try to solve .

    There are some people who try to act as middle men when two members. Of the same family or two friends quarrel amongst themselves.

    I feel it is not the right thing to do. They have their own way of conwaying their anger or feelings under certain situations. For instance,when two friends quarrel over some liking of a filmstar,
    one should not interfere and try to support the opponent with your views because it is their personal discussion. Ultimately,when they pick their choice,you will be sidelined and cut a sorry figure. By this time you should have learned your lesson.

    Another example would be when a mother inlaw and daughter in law argue over a serial on television it would be wrong to give your opinion because they might sometimes compromise and support the same character. Be very careful and don't try to repeat the same mistake

    Have you ever tried to be the middle man. If so ,let me know when and where it happened and what did you learn from such a situation?

    Radha Muralidhar
  • #746247
    While I do agree that it is not proper to interfere in others affair when it comes to their personal matters and issues. But in many cases being the common friend for both the person to the quarrel, it becomes necessary to interfere and settle the issues amicably. Here there cannot be partisan attitude and the issue should be dealt on merits. Moreover our interference should not be hindrance to their position what they claim but should show them alternative to accept the proposal in adjustable way. Middleman are required when the situation goes out of hand and both are not at talking terms and therefore there cannot be fixed rules on this matter. I have mediated in the personal issues of many and got them settled and they are now happy also. The estranged husband and wife were united and they are now living happily.
    K Mohan @ Moga
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #746258
    One should not definitely interfere in the affairs of others. Sometimes if both parties may come and ask for opinions. In such a case, we can tell our opinion. But we should not follow our suggestions.
    But if the discussion between two friends on a subject which is very common subjects, definitely some people support one person and some other people may support the other person. If two people are quarrelling about a cinema actor, definitely the people around will join the quarrel and they will go to the side where their thoughts match. During my childhood, I used to like NTR and my friend used to like ANR. Many times we used to have a quarrel. All NTR fans used to support me and all ANR fans used to support the other person. Here we can't stop them as the point of discussion is not a personal one. It is a common subject.

    always confident

  • #746259
    It is human nature to sometimes give advice or suggestion to the common friends even when they are not asking for it. Moreover, it is common to give solutions to two conflicting persons also. Sometimes people take it very positively also and the conflict is resolved. So being middle man would not be so repenting every time as sometimes the confronting parties look for it to escape the unpleasant situations. However these things depend upon the circumstances also as that would vary and sometimes the middlemen would be liked by everyone while at times they might be asked to keep mum and have their own business.
    Knowledge is power.

  • #746287
    Suggestions should not be given unless somebody asks for it. Unnecessary interference may not be liked by anyone. However the same thing is applicable for a sane person. Imagine the situation of a couple living around your flat and if the husband becomes violent under the alcoholic state forgetting the common sense and he takes the ultimate step of biting his wife blue and white for a minor mistake. What will you do then? The ultimate step to console such a couple has failed in the past and moreover this reflects an ugly scenario for the neighbours especially the children of that locality. To solve such a problem becomes a tedious task unless there is the efforts of the different agencies to sort out problems. Involvement of neighbours through continuous counselling might help in such situations and we cannot leave the problems as such.

  • #746291
    Yes, I agree with the author's point of view to not meddle in the matters of other people and give advice unless asked for. Often people who try to be extra nice try to solve our problem for us and at times they try to convey messages on our behalf and that's where the problem arises because nobody asked them to be our voices. And most of the time the person who is trying to help assess the problem with his/her own personal experiences, choices, and biases does not exactly understand the issue.
    So one should have a sense of whether to intervene or not or to what extent and will it be correct to meddle. And better options to avoid such issues where your opinion is of no help at all.

    "It is hardest thing in the world to be good thinker without being a good self examiner"

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