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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Hotel lunch and family system from joint to nuclear

    Yesterday, I happened to sit in hotel for lunch with my cousin brother. We ordered special lunch for us. They served soup, chapati, kuruma, payasam, coconut rice,rice,sambar, vathakuzhambu, rasam,poriyal, koottu, curd, appalam, vadai and mini coffee/ice cream. They charged Rs.195 for all these items tips excluded). My brother told me. "if we intend to buy any one item of the above, it is not possible - average cost of one items is Rs.13 and if buy separately one sambar rice it would cost Rs.60 or 70. Similar to this, a joint family and nuclear family, in a joint family all expenses got shared and we incur only a share but the nuclear family total expenses of one family should be borne by single or two persons."
    I felt it is correct.
  • #746639
    A very good comparison. A joint family stays in a big house. So the rent paid maybe more. But when it goes to the nuclear family the house can be small and individually what one family pays is less. But if you add up all the rents paid by all the families definitely it will be very high. In all expenses, it will be the same.
    But the problem in joint families is understanding among the family members. People should be ready to understand each other and sometimes one has to adjust himself/ herself. On this front only, problems will come. Earlier days there were issues regarding properties and money. But these days many people don't have any issue on this front. But ego plays an important role. The independent thinking of the individuals and selfishness of the people will be a big hindrance for the people in staying together. Small issues will crop up and if no one is ready to adjust, that issue will become big. I have noticed this in many joint families.

    always confident

  • #746646
    It is the fact that there are advantages and disadvantages in comparing the joint family with the nuclear family. While the joint family represents the strength and the pride of the Khandan or the legacy of living, the nuclear family is left with no elders advise or blessings. The children in joint families are best coordinated and know the importance of each other and they develop seeing each other as competition. whereas in nuclear family the exposure to such things is very less. When the issues and matters of challenges are discussed and taken decision immediately in joint family, there is no such advantage in nuclear family. That is the reason being so even today joint families are most prospering , less worrying as the adjustment takes place between one or the other where as running a nuclear family is challenging.
    K Mohan @ Moga
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #746653
    The nice analogy by the author with food but I will not completely agree with that since many a time burden of the family expenses towards any one member, which creates resentments which are not visible. And this resentment is kept hidden until something big happens and creates a big rift because those resentments were already piling up in the heart of the person contributing more, and often this burden falls on the person earning higher.
    And sometimes such things create domination of the high earning member over low earning member. So often it is a deal that comes in substitution of self-respect. Joint families if not bonded by love but forcefully are way worse than nuclear families. There are many things on which members have to compromise for the sake of the happiness of others and sidelining personal happiness at many times.

    Similarly in a special thali, we have lot of item we don't like to eat but we already spent money and they are either wasted or eaten without much liking. But when we have a choice it might feel a little expensive but it brings happiness of choice and we devour and every last bite of that meal.

    "It is hardest thing in the world to be good thinker without being a good self examiner"

  • #746657
    A correct observation, inference and conclusion.

    It was because of this that in earlier days a family with many members but with one earning member was running practically in whatever income brought in and they all lived with contentment. There was sharing of everything- good and bad. So as the whole quantum of everything was distributed, individual burden was less and tolerable and manageable.
    The one and main disadvantage was the lack of privacy and some dissatisfaction for those who had more self-feelings than common feelings. If we now calculate the total income of all nuclear families(who otherwise would have ben a joint family) then we can se that the per family and per head income and assets are many many times more. But if we calculate the self satisfaction and contentment then it will be many times less. The balance will tilt towards un-satisfaction.

  • #746787
    There are so many expenses which can be economise in a joint family like electricity bill, house tax, maintenance amount, water charges, and many other such items. That is a big financial support and that was the reason probably why in earlier times especially in the poor and middle class families always lived in a joint mode.
    Apart from financial considerations there are many other things which are very beautiful and I will say very divine in a joint family environment where mutual caring, respect, and concern make the life a happy journey.

    Knowledge is power.

  • #746807
    When we think more about this subject and analyse the situation we may be getting some new thoughts.
    Financially a joint family may be definitely better and there are chances for reducing expenses and can save money. But chances of having peace of mind and happiness will come down if the mentalities of the members differ and everybody wants freedom and individuality.

    always confident

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