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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    If you do not like interference, then first adopt self-reliance.

    When we go through different aspects of life, we see some paths are known to us and some unknown to us. We need help on the unknown and we ask for this help ourselves. Sometimes the helpers are our own and sometimes others. We should always remember the difference between help and dependency. When we constantly take help from people and increase our dependence on them, then there will be two results, either the helper will run away from you or else will keep helping because of kindness. When a person starts giving constant support in your life, then surely his interference will also increase in your life, even if some matters are personal to you but the person in front can interfere. So if you do not want anyone's interference in your life then you should be self-reliant in every manner.
  • #747100
    Very nice thread from the author as we keep on harping for help from others even to the matters to which we can do the task and get into the end results. yet want to approach a person just for reassuring that we are doing the best and sure. But this weakness within us is truly exposing the over dependency and that person thinks that without him, he or she cannot survive and thus comes for reach out on every small issue. Now the helping would slowly becomes the interference by him or her at various level because, he or she has become the mentor and only savior to help in all aspects. Then we have to keep quiet and even accept all the overtures. Better we adopt to self reliant and that can only create formidable confidence in ourselves and also keep a check on those who have the ulterior motives or personal interest in us.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #747102
    Yes, any kind of favour or help often makes us vulnerable to others opinions also who is doing a favour or helping us. So best life course is to try to do everything on one's own as far as possible and even if the help is required to take only the amount which will not send you into the cages of self-loathing and does not strike your self-esteem. Self-reliance for sure is needed in every walk of life be it financial, mental or any other day to day task.
    "It is hardest thing in the world to be good thinker without being a good self examiner"

  • #747104
    To manage the jobs especially when you are yourself engaged in a main job taking at least eight to ten hours per day, we would like to get our secondary jobs done by some people proficient in carrying out some jobs.They are under the impression that we are novice to such jobs. They would think that we would depend on these people to accomplish the same.To that extent, it is alright but with the time, they would remind us repeatedly when it would be convenient for them to visit us for such jobs. Ultimately we become dependent on these skilled people. The only solution to this problem is to change the mode of delegation of jobs We have to prove our worth before such people by showing our earlier jobs done from ourselves such as interior painting of the walls or any job done from our own involvement. This would wipe out their confusion and they would change their mindset. Better tell them these minor jobs are pending due to our preoccupation with our primary jobs.

  • #747124
    One can not be self-reliant always. Support from others is always required. There is a saying in Telugu that says even a Gold plate also can't stand on its own and requires support from a wall. Like that even in our lives we may have to depend on somebody else. But for those services, we may be paying and getting the work done. We should not expect free service from anybody. If we expect free help from somebody we should tolerate them at least till our work is completed.
    But to the maximum extent possible we should be able to manage the majority of our works in our own way. But for each and everything if we depend on the same person definitely we have to respect him and he will be interfering in other areas also. We should tolerate them.
    I have seen some people who take help from others without hesitation but at the same time, they never hesitate to cut short them when there is no need of them.

    always confident

  • #747141
    Most of the relations are based on the give and take policy and many times the relations suffer when there is less fulfilment on either side. Somewhat, this interference of someone who is constantly helping can also be classified under that give and take policy and there is almost no other option than accepting it. As Dr Rao has rightly said that self-reliant is not possible all the time we need to limit it by properly gauging the situation. One has to decide how much interference one can tolerate and then seek help. One should not think that others are there to help out in a given situation but should think that help is required only when it is required. Seeking help always may indicate that the help seeker is ignorant of various aspects of life and thus becomes vulnerable.

    "Life is easier when you enjoy what you do"

  • #747210
    When a person takes help from others frequently then everyone comes to know that the person is a weak person and requires continuous guidance and support. Such persons become dependent on others and are in fact a load on the society as they are not capable of doing things independently themselves. Other people also call them and ask to do their small works in lieu of the help rendered and that particular person cannot refuse it as he has to get help in future from all those people who are asking him time to time for small things or favours as per his capabilities. So the interference would definitely be there in one way or other. For living an independent life one has to work hard and become independent and also try to help others with one's knowledge and abilities. Then only people would start respecting the person and no one will dare to disturb or interfere because of the hidden respect that a person commands when he is in a helping position rather than taking help from others.
    Knowledge is power.

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