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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Accepting something with graciousness is sometimes tough

    Somebody gives us a gift that we don't really want. Yet, we will graciously accept it with thanks. We lose a race on the sports field. Yet, we sportingly cheer the winner and accept our defeat with grace. There are many moments in our lives, though, when we find it difficult to bring out this quality of graciousness. Let's consider different situations-

    There is the time when somebody annoyingly refuses well-meaning help from us when we know or rather think we know that they do require it. How do we step back with grace, ready to acknowledge that perhaps that person didn't really want our help and possibly considered it as a needless interference?

    There is a moment when we are criticized for something we said or did. The immediate, natural response is that our feathers are ruffled, our hackles raised. We right away hit back with a strong verbal tantrum, indicating that we have done right, that the other person is not right. It is not often that we pause to reflect and understand the other person's point of view and find out whether indeed that person is correct.

    Have you ever faced such a dilemma when graciousness is stifled, either deliberately or because it was just difficult to express?

    [This is a writeup for the topic-based TOW on Acceptance]
  • #747327
    Gracefulness is a very great quality of an individual and many people maintain their grace by keeping graceful in all sorts of situations, occasions, and circumstances. It is not easy to do so as it requires a lot of self-control and prudence. Accepting everything in a normal and graceful manner irrespective of the hurt and shame felt within oneself can project the person as a reputed and honourable figure in the society but that person only knows how difficult it is to maintain that image.
    Knowledge is power.

  • #747331
    Gracefulness cannot be achieved unless we are conscious of some positive attributes which we should be included in the development of our personality. It is easy to comment or criticise a party on our defeat. We strongly object or react to some comments passed on the opposite party. These are the natural reactions between the celebration of the two parties. However we must know how to accept our defeat gracefully in case we have erred at some point or the other. This is not achievable unless we enlarge our hearts to see the merits of the utterances made by the other party. This is practically possible if we have the larger perspectives of analysis. Gracefulness does not necessarily reflect our weakness.

  • #747332
    A really nice and unique thread on acceptance. It is more difficult to accept graciously when we put our efforts and hard work into a task but someone who is better than us wins, at such moment we have to show the courage and sportsmanship and positivity and not just for the show but really feel it as well.
    I think the best examples of such gracious acceptance come from sports events be it world championships, tournaments and Olympics where all the members perform best but still some are best and some have to accept that they need to rework.
    It is our value system that keeps us strong at the moments like these to stay calm and accept and acknowledge others victory with graciousness.

    "It is hardest thing in the world to be good thinker without being a good self examiner"

  • #747334
    The author has hit upon the winning entry with this post connecting to the tow topic and it is the fact that sometimes accepting the things as comes by may be tough for us. In this days of competition, there cannot be compromise and those who miss the chance, others would grab the offer. But I have seen something rare happening in sports. The other-day I was watching a football match in which the ball was chased to the goal, and suddenly the player got sprain in the leg and the chasing was withdrawn and fell on the ground, and the opposite player also stopped the game and helped the player. That was wonderful gesture because any win should be fought and won and not as the grace and in this case there was whole lots of appreciation for the give up attitude and I really admire such sports persons.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #747347
    Yes, a nice post by the author. Everyone studies a lot for competitive exams, everyone tries their best to get a job with good results in the exam. But those who don't get it are sad but those who do get it assume to be lucky and congratulated. I also congratulate my friends because they were getting jobs at that time even I failed. On the playground, it is obvious that everyone else congratulates the winners. But those who wish even after losing are great. Because they know the winner is better than he is. It is a part of the discipline of the game on the one hand and a necessary gift to the true master on the other.
    We have to create our mentality of accepting something given with empathy. So these should be observed keeping human qualities in mind. Only then can gracefulness be successful.

    Believe in the existence of God the superpower.

  • #747357
    As Dhruba stated, empathy does play a key role in accepting something gracefully. Instead of repeating the situations that I have mentioned, I would like to see discussions on other situations as well.

    K Mohan- it would be good if you refrained from tagging a contest entry as a winning one, something that you are repeatedly doing. How about leaving it for the jury panel to decide? Appreciation of a thread is motivating to the author, but outright labelling it as a winner is putting it on a pedestal which I think we should desist doing.

    When you make a commitment, you create hope. When you keep a commitment you create trust! ~ John C. Maxwell

  • #747371
    Many times what we propose may not happen and something other than that only will happen. In such situations generally, people will get disturbed and try to find fault with the other people especially those who caused that displeasure. But we should accept the result graciously and who have to try our best on the next occasion.
    One of my friends got his marriage fixed and the girl was a relation to him only. Everything was finalised and only the marriage date is to be fixed. My friend was waiting for a piece of information from the girl's parents. But after a long wait, they sent a word saying that the girl was not showing interest. It is really a shock to my friend but he accepted the decision of the girl very graciously and he attended her marriage to another guy. But before her marriage, he married another girl and both of them attended the wedding of the girl. All my friends and relatives appreciated the nature of the boy.

    always confident

  • #747381
    Surely many people accept everything in the end because they have no other option for it but on the other hand we have seen that some people accept acceptance happily and some accept it crying. Everyone wants and will accept good results, but when the hour is of sorrow or defeat, then it becomes difficult to accept the truth at times. By accepting any result with graciousness, we only grow courage, so we should understand decency and give our acceptance with a happy heart in whatever has happened many times.

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