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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Where is the honour in this?

    I read a news report from Maharashtra where an Eighteen-year-old boy beheaded his sister with the support of her 40-year old mother.
    Just because the girl eloped with a man and married and was pregnant. The boy and mother went to meet the girl in her husband's house and while she went to the kitchen to make tea the mother and boy attacked her.
    This is not where barbarity ends they both took selfies with the girls head and flaunted it for neighbours to see. Even if the girl eloped how can anyone justify such cruelty.
    This is the society which talks about equal rights and can't bear to see a girl taking decisions on her own. If the parent feels children have done them wrong and dishonoured them, is it the way to resurrect your honour. How can a mother become so cruel who nurtures the child? How can a brother become so much dangerous when he is the one who is known for protecting his siblings?
    I felt so disgusted reading this piece of newspaper. Although these things are so common in India every time you come across such things it makes you question the existence of the whole social norms of honour which can make a human so inhumane and beast like.
  • #747544
    The word honour is usually misused. An inhuman act cannot be honourable. Today I also read the news and felt shattered. I thanked God for blessing me with wonderful parents and guardians, side by side prayed to the Lord for blessing me with a proper judgemental thought process. Personally, my marriage has nothing to do with my being thankful. A painful incident always gives food to thought.

    The mother and the brother of the deceased girl are savage, and they deserve severe punishment. They are inhumane, and their penalization should set an example for others who possess such cruel and degrading viewpoints.


  • #747545
    The killing of the sister by her brother with the help of the mother is inhuman. No one supports such acts. I condemn the support of the mother as beastly. Her act of supporting her son to kill her own daughter is more ghastly.
    This is an isolated event that cannot be generalized and blamed on society.

    " Be Good and Do Good "

  • #747547
    That was a sad incident, it seems like a movie but actually, it's reality. Why do people become soo rood and heartless so they do not even value others' lives in front of their values or rituals? Mother is one of the best examples to express love because no one can love anyone as a mother does to her children, in this case even this truth is also defeated. Such criminals should be punished as soon as possible.

  • #747559
    While it is very disturbing to read such barbaric acts of own mother and brother killing a house hold blood relation for being eloped and got married against the wishes of the parents. In this regard we must also think from the side of the mother and son. What could have gone through their mind with the incident happened as in every home the sister has been seen as the most loved cared and being brother I am sure he would have made every need attended for the sister. In that case the girl should have taken her mother and brother into confidence and convinced them for marriage and instead she chose to elope and marry. This kind of outage from those affected cannot be controlled as they had lots of expectations and that gone with one wrong act. But the way she was killed and then flaunting the act need to be full condemnation.
    K Mohan @ Moga
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #747561

    It is an unfortunate event. In our society in some familes the family members or parents cannot accept anything against the family honour and in that thought they become crazy and almost mad to take up some such barbaric actions. Such cruel actions are not the solutions of the problem. These require pondering by a cool and calm mind. When the girl from the family has already decided her future with a person who is not liked by the family then it means she has chosen that life willingly and one is free to do so and we should have faith in her choice. At the most we can only tell her to think and review her decision before going for the relationship but if she is hell bent and is not ready to change it then we must either co-operate with her or simply break our relationship with her. Killing her is not at all a solution and is an act of confused and criminal minds.

    Knowledge is power.

  • #747564
    When someone closely associated with us does something not liked by us, unwelcome to us or does something without our concurrence, it is a general human reaction to resist that and try to do anything to nullify that act or take some counter measures. The severity of the counter measure depends on the depth of the attachment of us to that person or dislike to that act. Sometimes it leads to severe revengeful acts.

    This happens when the associate is a friend, business partner, life partner or close blood-relative. The counter act often becomes very severe and devoid of any ration, logic and unthinking of consequences. The more attachment and expectation one holds with the other, the more dep the anguish and desperation.

    That is why in the case of children it defeats any logic, ration and consequences. Mostly it ends with no-win, but all loose.
    But we pick up only those cases related to marriages and sensationalise it, whereas such happenings are there in any kind of close relationships.

  • #747565
    It never stops, people defend the criminals somehow. No one is seeing the point that a grown woman should have the independence to choose. Even in the condemnation, people are justifying the action of mother and son. And I was waiting for such response to come.
    This is where our thinking is wrong. Until and unless we stop justifying such action this thinking is not going anywhere but getting transmitted to the next generation that it is somehow justified to think that you have the authority over your sister, your child and to this extent.
    If they wanted to punish the girl they could have severed ties with her. The balanced response here was from Umesh Sir who did not justified such action.

    "It is hardest thing in the world to be good thinker without being a good self examiner"

  • #747574
    The author has been arguing that growing woman should have the independence to choose. Here in this case I would have certainly appreciated the girl by making some sort of convincing way to be accepted and then took the decision to move out. She has done wrong thing by eloping, that means she has already planned to take all such risk in future and mother is helpless in this regard as the outrage is spontaneous as a mother she would always think of good life for the daughter and not that is done through back door entry. She would have thought of grand marriage and great life and all that gone into ashes with the daughter elope and later marriage without information and then getting into mother way. Here the severity of ties cannot be imposed as the girl already gone pregnant and more problems to her.
    K Mohan @ Moga
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #747579
    I am really amazed by your responses K.Mohan Sir to have someone beheaded for taking their own decisions in life, What kind of societal norms are these. Even if the girl did commit mistakes she will suffer her consequences on her own and I guess that too would not have been this worse as she was pregnant living happily with her husband.
    And the limits to which an 18-year-old boy is brainwashed to think he can make the decisions and not his 19-year-old sister, What is really wrong with people?
    This is the Indian version of the Taliban but the problem is people here don't want to acknowledge that they do have such a mindset and Taliban is openly say such things in public.

    "It is hardest thing in the world to be good thinker without being a good self examiner"

  • #747590

    I have not supported the action of the mother and brother in any way. It's up to the family to accept or not accept someone's marriage, but in any case, no one has the right to kill someone. We may not agree with someone's choice, decision or action, but for that, one cannot be brutal. Everyone cannot be made happy, but ultimately murder cannot be an appreciable solution. The girl who eloped might not be right in her decision, and her family can disagree with her action, but her mother and brother's act was horrible, which needs severe punishment. In this case, the mother is not at all helpless. She knew the plan and helped her son in taking the gruesome step. One thing is for sure that if the son had eloped and got married without his family's permission, still a mother would not have planned to kill her son. In the incident mentioned in the thread, both the mother and the brother are culprits, and they should not get any mercy from anyone. '


  • #747591
    Shampa sadhya maam you might have misunderstood my comment, it was not directed towards you as you are not the one who has defended the mother-son duo.
    And I agree with the point you made now if it would have been a boy who eloped or had a pregnant wife this might not have been the way the situation would have developed further.

    "It is hardest thing in the world to be good thinker without being a good self examiner"

  • #747592
    The event narrated in this forum is quite shocking and we cannot think of so much deterioration of socially acceptable norm. This event is more surprising where the mother of the diseased is herself involved along with her son to put an end to life of her own daughter who remained in the womb of that mother till the delivery of the child. The mother might have several wonderful experience with her in the past and even the same daughter could have showered her love multiple times. Her decision to marry a boy not approved by the family would turn so dangerous was not known to that unfortunate child. We don't know where we are heading and how such insane can be tackled?

  • #747605
    When our children are erring in their early young lives then we have right to punish them but not in such extreme ways. We can tell them that if they choose those ways then they will not be getting a part of our property because we will be closing our relationships with them. Closing the relationship means they cannot expect anything from us in future. Such announcement sometimes would make them or force them to review their decisions. Sometimes fear of getting financially disconnected from the parents makes them to think and to correct their chosen paths. So this is the maximum that parents can do and there is no point to go for harsh offences and it is also illegal to offend them physically.
    Knowledge is power.

  • #747626
    If we don't like the actions of somebody, let us part with them and let them live their own lives. How can we dictate terms and kill the other person when they did something against our wishes. That is cruelty only. No one should support such actions. Once the children cross their minority age, we should give them the freedom to take care of their issues and plan their lives. As elders, we can just caution them if we feel they may face problems. But the final decision should be left to them.
    Many such incidents are happening and they are really disturbing the people. The police and the law should act quickly and take severe action against such people. Otherwise, people will have no fear and go for such cruel ways more and more.

    always confident

  • #747639
    There are often disagreements among the family members on some issues but the same can be sorted out with the discussions. In the present case, the daughter might have taken the decision of marriage due to her intense passion for the boy and the other factors in relation to her marriage could not be foreseen with its possible outcome. In such a situation even her mother did not take any initiative to convince her daughter either. The situation could have been manageable with a series of dialogues between the duo. Such a lapse from the side of the mother ultimately proved dangerous and it appears that even the mental health of the mother was not sound enough to take a rational decision to convince the girl for not entering into the marriage alliance. She behaved irrationally forgetting that daughter was her inseparable asset and in a fit of rage she finally took the extreme step of killing her daughter with the connivance of her son. She definitely deserves the severest punishment which would open the eyes of criminally minded people.

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