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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Another misconception and misinterpretation of ritual leading to a disaster

    My reading of the text has made me deconstruct things happening in society and every time I read something like that happening in society I end up finding its cause and effect.
    Especially news these days which tells a lot about our value system. Recently a man forcefully placed vermilion(sindoor) on a girls forehead on her wedding day with someone else in Uttar Pradesh.
    This is how wrong teachings of rituals, tradition and their wrong portrayal in movies affect the mentality of people. Again especially a man who thinks that they have a claim over a woman just by putting sindoor over her forehead.
    Many might think I am some kind of atheist or against religion and man, making big deal out of such things. But smaller things fed into the minds of people end up making big breaking news.
    What right does any man have, to do such an act? How can one possibly think such a forceful and coercive act will bring any happiness?
    Until and unless we as a society teach our next generation about things like consent, autonomy, freedom of choice of another person and rights of others we will stay stagnant and conservative.
  • #747603
    After reading this post, I feel that there are crooks inside the society who wants to get benefited over the rituals and traditions which are in its own place and even regarded today. There may be reasons for the man to have interfered and put Sindoor on the girl as he may be loving her and not expressed the reason. He might have thought that by applying forcefully the vermilion she would accept him as the life partner. But he failed to understand that marriage or love is the culmination and understanding and liking of two hearts and nothing can be coerced or forcefully done, and that would amount to illegal activity. And why these kinds are things are happening only in the North side of India is the question to be asked here. The children were not nurtured better by the parents and they are highly influenced by the wrong advice of society.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #747606
    Many times faith and beliefs in our traditional things are very deeply rooted in a person. In such cases at times it becomes a deciding factor in one's life. If a person is able to analyse a matter of faith or belief in a rational and logical way then he can get rid of this dilemma.
    Our beliefs are generally shaped during our growing up time and depending on the environment we grow up we get them inculcated in our personality. In this particular case cited by the author the girl will be in a state of confusion because of certain beliefs in her mind. But if she is bold and intelligent she can announce that marriage as nullified at that place itself. At the same time the parents and other relatives who are standing there should fully support her in that and punish the people who were doing such criminal acts. No one can take advantage in the garb of our social customs, rituals, and beliefs if we collectively nab these people and get them arrested.
    Unfortunately most of us are very weak in this and are not able to take such correct decisions at the right time at that particular spot. It requires not only boldness and courage but also requires presence of mind. Unfortunately most of us are still lacking it.

    Knowledge is power.

  • #747627
    Forcing others to do certain things against their wishes is not correct. We should not accept such acts. The girl has every right to decide whom to marry. No one can force her. Simply by applying Sinduru if somebody says he has every right on the girl, nobody should support and the girl should say that she never cares for such acts and go ahead on her journey. I feel these days girls should be trained more in self-defensive acts so that no one can come near to them. We should educate our children about the importance of values, morals and other important aspects that are to be followed by them in their lives. If we start teaching them these points from their childhood, their minds will definitely get tuned to positive aspects of life and they never go for such unwanted actions in their lives. But unfortunately these days people are not having time to spend on their children I feel.
    always confident

  • #747640
    From the various threads the author has posted it gives me a doubt whether the author is a cynic and skeptic only towards Hindus and Hindu traditions. The author very surely deflects any isolated happening and and uses it as a tool to criticise and find fault against the Hindu traditions.
    There is a saying in Malayalam which means that 'when one expects arrival of a person, it will appear that whoever comes is that person". I have a doubt now whether the author is also a victim of that syndrome.
    In the present case no one is accepting the act of the youth who disturbed a very important event. Accordingly he was dealt with by the people there. That ends the matter.

    I am surprised how the thread author found some very peculiar notions linking that for insinuating the genuine followers of some good faith and tradition.

    Now, every religion or section or geographical society have their own special and unique traditions, practices and beliefs. It is such uniqueness that distinguishes and keeps the multi society alive. As humans are not factory manufactured products, there will be similarities in certain matters and differences in other matters.

    Now about the significance of Sindoor- it is a symbolic display of certain closely held genuine tradition. It is considered sacred and holy by most people mainly Hindus.

    The aim of the person who disrupted the event was to commit a sacrilege by using Sindoor for his unholy, unwelcome act and thus create confusion and desecration. But he was immediately caught and was not allowed to do further criminal acts.

    The author, instead of deprecating the criminal act , has used it very cleverly to hurt the sentiments of many who hold certain values and faiths.

    The author is also aware that the movies and other media is also responsible for the wrong values. I doubt whether the author also adds fuel to the fire by her own wrong conclusions.

    Can anyone get authority on a paper meant for some others by forcefully stealing an official stamp and affixing it on that document? Is the office, the genuine document or any others responsible for that? Won't he be punished? The same standard applies here also.

    I also hope that, (if the author is genuinely concerned) she will post threads blaming the faith and religion of those many criminals who commit various criminal acts in the name of religion, or using to justify their criminal acts.

  • #747641
    The opinions like yours Mr Venkiteswaran is what makes me point out the fault lines of the religion that one should accept and acknowledge to make it better instead of getting defensive.
    And just because someone points out these fault lines does not make them against the religion. But those who don't show the courage to say what is wrong in the religion do. The biggest example of such a thing was recently seen in our neighbouring country Pakistan where a Srilankan man has publicly burned down on the blame of Blasphemy.
    Just because others stayed silent in the process this is an extreme and to avoid such extremes one should stop even small things in society from happening by pointing them.
    It is not necessary to show respect for religion by being a blind follower and defending everything
    I don't want to brag but I think I need to clear a few things I am someone who has read Ramcharitmanas from my class 8th till class 12th with my grandfather. I have read "Bhagwat Geeta" in various interpretations various times and I think these are the places from where I should find my interpretation of my personal belief and religion not from blind followers.
    I only follow those things of religion which seems good according to my conscience, not everything and anything. But I will keep criticising things that do not suit that conscience and feels dangerous for society.

    "It is hardest thing in the world to be good thinker without being a good self examiner"

  • #747697
    The title of the thread itself says that it is the misconception and misinterpretation of rituals that lead to such untoward incidents. So, it is not that the rituals are bad as such. It is the way some people conceive or misinterpret a ritual or tradition that makes it appear worse.

    I, personally, am totally against forcing someone to follow a particular ritual or tradition but at the same time, I am of the opinion that such rituals and traditions play an important role in binding us to our culture. Almost all the places across the world follow certain traditions and rituals and that is what makes them different from others.

    So, let us not blame rituals or traditions outrightly but again should never encourage people who try to force them on us on whatever pretext.

    "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." -Robert Frost

  • #747711
    The last paragraph of this thread is quite significant but to teach the next generation the people of the present generation must have a clear idea about consent, autonomy, legal, illegal etc. In many distant parts of the country, it may be found that the people living there think the rituals in the marriages are most important and they do not care much about the registration of the marriages which is essential in terms of the law. In such places, the next generation will never know what is right or what is not. Until one is legally married to another person it cannot be treated as legal, in terms of law, even if all the rituals are strictly followed. Here, the role of the administration is quite important. While no one can force another woman/man to follow any ritual, others present at the place also should not remain as mute spectators when something is forced upon someone. Social reform is required in every society to progress and at the same time in a vast country like India, where there are so many traditions, languages, religions, food habits the pace of reform becomes very slow.

    "Life is easier when you enjoy what you do"

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