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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Should we butter someone for our better future ?

    Right from the childhood, we have competitors at home either as an elder sister or elder brother. The younger ones should always compromise and agree to the elder so that life would be easy. And while growing to school age, we have to take care of good friends as we might need their help on many occasions. When we grow up and get a job, we need to take care of our immediate boss and employees who would be helping us daily. After marriage we have to compromise with our life partner even on small matters. And when we grow old, we might have to obey our kids or others who would be looking after us. Does that mean that we should butter someone for our better future ? Please participate in this discussion.

  • #747879
    I hate to agree with the heading of this thread but in some context, we do have to do that. As I am struggling for getting PhD admissions these days, I am realizing how important is it to have this talent or quality to be able to impress professors through buttering or whatever you call that. Despite getting good marks in entrance and competitive exams, making research proposals and giving an interviews to your best capabilities, it is ultimately in the hands of the professor if they want you or not. Mostly in academics, though very few people agree to it openly, only those are given supervision who are in very good books of the professors. Talented individuals who are slightly introverted when it comes to impressing professors through buttering are left behind.

    I don't know whether it can be called buttering or not but I have seen many students in the past who are actually neither well-read nor have a good command of the subject often get selected due to this quality.

    Although I have confidence in my capabilities, but still, when I see such people getting things done because of this quality, I do get irritated and simultaneously feel like why I can't develop this quality of buttering.


    "It is hardest thing in the world to be good thinker without being a good self examiner"

  • #747912
    A good thread is posted by the author, I feel taking care of the people around you is one thing and flattering someone is another. There is nothing wrong with this when we go through some stages while doing business-like in many relationships we have to compromise as well as in-office etc. we have to change according to the environment of that. But I am not in favor of butting anyone in vain for my selfishness. Some people resort to this to fulfill their interest, while the person in front also understands this, but some people like buttering.

  • #747942
    There is a saying in Tamil,'mullu mela thuni vizhuntha medhuvaaka thaan edukkanum' which means if we should remove the if fallen on the thorny plant with much carefulness. Otherwise if we forcefully remove the cloth , the loss is to us only but not for the plant. Similarly if we happened to get a work finished we should butter the concerned person involved in that work.
    Last week when I and my cousin brother speaking about the tenant occupying in upstairs portion of our house, as he was not paying the rent for two months. My brother was against me when I told him to communicate politely to the tenant. I further told, "It is better to vacate him forcefully with police help etc., but the complications coming later will affect only us. If we pointing out his mistake and ask to vacate, it is good for both". Accordingly we did and he vacated the house by paying the difference amount over advance by realizing his mistake. Similarly smooth approach may be seen as buttering but is good for our future without any problem or complication.

  • #747945
    When we see the happenings around we may feel that the is the requirement these days. We have to be in the good books of the boss if we have to get a promotion. We have to be in the good books of the judge if we have to win a competition and get a prize. Everywhere there is an involvement of the human element and that is bringing in the need of buttering or pleasing or bribing the other side.
    I have written the written test for a government job long back for a government job. I got very good marks. Then I received a call for an interview and I did well in the interview also. The subject expert who was on the interview board later met me somewhere and told me that it was not my performance that stopped me from getting that job. He said that I have not taken care of the person who has to finally tick the names of the candidates who are selected. After that, I never got an opportunity in the government sector. I understood the importance of buttering after that only.

    always confident

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