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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Is it compulsion to be there on 10th day ceremony when already been at the funeral ?

    When we make it a must to visit those who were dead and even participate in the death day ceremony, there is a ritual and compulsion to be there on even on 10th day ceremony and that would be very worrisome because we have to face the widower on that day which many would not like to watch and be in the 10th day ceremony. Normally those who have already visited the funeral rites, they need not visit again, but in some religious sects they are even sending the message to be there on the 10th day ceremony. How to avoid this and what reason may be told not to visit them ?
  • #749126
    There are no hard and fast rules that we have to attend for the 10th-day ceremony when already we have visited the family of the deceased. But the very close relative circle of the dead person feel that they should attend the 10th-day ceremony to offer Dharmodakalu ( Sacred water) to the dead person.
    There is a belief in many Hindu families that attending the 10th-day ceremony is the last service or help one can do to the deceased person. That is why a lot of importance will be given to this day. However, for the last two years due to the Corona Virus, nobody is trying to attend these ceremonies. Only the members of the family are attending.
    In the Telugu States the 10th,11th and 12th days are important and many relatives attend at least one of these three days all the close relatives will try to attend.

    always confident

  • #749132
    There are some traditions and practices in our culture and it is expected that people will follow them. At the same time there is no compulsion to do so because in the modern times many concepts have changed drastically and people are following things in piecemeal only. In the example case mentioned by the author if one has already attended the funeral then one can skip the 10th day ritual. In fact they would be asking all those who attended the funeral to attend that last ritual also to respect the departed soul and under that compulsion many people feel to attend that last function also. It is only a matter of respecting the sentiments of that household where the death occurred. But one can politely tell them that due to some reason one would not be able to attend and then they will also not insist. It is a matter of courtesy only to inform one's absence due to personal reasons.
    Knowledge is power.

  • #749166
    It is in practice of Hindu rituals that we should go on tenth day when we attend on the first day. But if the situation does not permit we need not go on the tenth day. Attending tenth day ceremony will generally give a console to the grieved party when they face poor attendance on that day. If we are elderly person to the grieved party, it is good to attend on that day.
    I am following till date what my grand father told me in my childhood, amidst many comments from my brothers side. He told me 'if you are getting a good news from any person either relatives or friends, we should attend or convey our greetings without fail by noting the date. If we get any bad news it is our most important duty to attend in person if possible or should convey our condolences immediately without fail or any delay.'

  • #749168
    But the ceremony slated to be held very far off from our home and hence dropping the idea to visit.
    K Mohan @ Moga
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

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