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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Do you believe that dowry is a social disorder?

    Even now we the people are not free from medieval barbarism. The place of women in society is still in question. But we tell the story of pride that men and women are equal. At all, society has kept women on the back foot now and then. The rebellion of many women shows its signs. There is nothing more brutal than bringing her dowry in exchange for a marital partner. And we just talk about changing it, but at work, we follow the same path. When will this social stigma fall? Do you know? Comment here.
  • #749611
    Dowry has been the most disgusting part of asking money from the in laws and that is nothing but showing the attitude on the part of groom side. Once I asked a groom who demanded dowry as to why he wants money as he already earning good salary. For that he and his family members gave stunning reply. That if the dowry is not demanded the bride side relatives would think that there is some problem health wise for the groom and hence they are adjusting. But factually speaking the dowry is not prevent these days but the bride side are arranging all things both the new weds needs and therefore there is no expressed interest of dowry. Those who demand dowry must be discarded from the society and no one should attend their wedding and have contacts with them thereafter and that kind of shaming would have the changed attitude.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #749613
    No doubt to say that it is cruel to ask for a dowry when a boy is marrying a girl. These two are going to live together life long. Both of them will be equal in their future journey. In such a case, why dowry.
    In earlier days, daughters were not considered for a share in the property of the parents. To compensate that parents used to offer some money or land or some other assets as gifts to the girl. Slowly this practice has turned to a demand from the boy's side. I know many girls who could not get married those days as the parents are not able to give the dowry.
    But I am seeing a change these days. The dowry system is coming down. Many parents are not asking for any dowry. The availability of girls is less these days and boys are not getting matches and many girls are having their own specifications to accept a boy. So times are changing and I hope shortly this system will go from society. In the olden days, the parents of the boy used to pay money to the parents of the girl. Later that has become dowry and slowly the system is going away I think.

    always confident

  • #749646
    Traditionally, when a girl was married then she left her parents and went to live with the boy and his family. The girl's father as per his capacity and capability gave some money and material to the girl at that time which was simply an indication that he wanted to share his wealth with her also because now she is going to leave them and live with the boy and his family and would never come back to them. So, that was not exactly a dowry but the volunteer gifts given by the girl's father at the time of marriage.
    So far so good but with time some of the families of the boys started to demand huge amount of money and material from a girl's father and threatened him not to marry his daughter if he did not pay that. As the demand of the boys in the market was more and they chose the girls as per their choice many parents of the girls succumbed to that demand. That is the origin of dowry. It is a menace. But till there are families which are demanding it this menace is going to stay. There are cases where even the ugly looking girls or handicapped ones got a boy easily by paying huge dowry which naturally is in the nature of bribe. Dowry is the manifestation of human greed only.

    Knowledge is power.

  • #749649
    While comparing the intellectual levels between the girls and boys, both are equally competent but still there exists discrimination between the two. Former is deprived of many benefits for the no faults of their own but the final choice is made by their parents. The later class - boys are definitely lucky to have all sorts of amenities. Now talking about the settlement of the marriage, there is the system of the dowry to be given to the groom prior to settlement of the marriage so that knot between the pair is settled. It is altogether a different story that both the duo would live together life long discharging different responsibilities together. If both of them are equally talented where from the matter of dowry originates. Definitely from groom side and with the time, there would be definitely transformation in this pattern. Firstly less availability of girls and the most important one is the girls have been self sufficient in terms of education and employment and with the time, they are capable enough of seeking matchable partners for them. Obviously, there will be a break of the existing norm.

  • #749774
    People's thinking and methods regarding dowry seem different, we find in the society. It is necessary to understand this a little deep, there is a way in which the boy's family decides the marriage on the basis of the conditions and demands which is completely wrong and also illegal. On the other hand, there are many consensual transactions. Will not always blame the boy's family if the girl's family will themselves come forward and support the practice of dowry. Some people are pushing these evils even for the sake of showoff and in fact, it is necessary to stop it somewhere. New generation should bring this change in their mentality and then in their lifestyle, one should accept that whether its a boy or girl marriage is a new relation for both and their family then what is the role of dowry over there. Gifting each other is a different thing but we have to balance this difference between gift someone and dowry.

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