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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Should women marry a man younger to her? Is it acceptable by the orthodox Indians?

    In India it had been a taboo for a woman to marry someone who is much younger to her. However, nowadays there is less hue and cry related to this issue. Still some parents feel dejected when their sons decide to marry a girl who is 2 or three years older to him. There might be some valuable reasons behind their thought. But the Z generation are very modern and they marry the girl whom they want to irrespective of the objections of elders. Some may also be labelled iconoclasts. What is your view? Is it alright to break the belief of the older generation?
  • #752199
    Normally the arranged marriages are done with the age difference between the boy and girl being three to five years and the boy being the elder to girl. In Indian society there is no allowing marriage with elder girl and younger boy and that is considered as the bad alliance done with haste. Why age difference is seen because at the fag end of the age one must have the strength and reliable to look after other and this give and take policy would be going from the day they get married. Only actors in recent past have chosen this new idea of getting married to younger partners and for them it may be good equation but for the people living in society, they have to fall within the rules of the family and they cannot do things which can bring bad name to the society. However it is left to the discretion of the partners concerned.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #752207
    There is normally a custom in the Hindu Society that the age of the bride should lesser than that of groom where the the preferred age gap between the couples should be at least five year. They might have made such rules considering different aspects including relatively higher strength of males even at the decaying ages. Very few ladies come at par with the gents. Again being a male dominated society, wives should obey the instructions of their husbands and there would not be any complexities within the ladies if they are younger than the male counterparts. This rule is still followed in our society despite a lot of changes in the mental make up of both the genders.

  • #752211
    In the entire system of marriage, these days we are seeing many changes and much hue and cry are not there. Once upon a time, once a couple gets married they used to think that they should be together till they die. There was no word called divorce in their dictionary those days.
    Strictly speaking, there is no scientific reasoning to say that always wife should be younger than the husband. But it is custom and there are many reasons for this. Seo Shankar Jha mentioned some of the reasons for this in his above post. They are very true.
    Once upon a time ladies were not having financial freedom and they were to obey the instructions of their male counterparts. But these days the case is different. Ladies also are financially well and have full freedom in all aspects. So no one can prevent them from mary gents who are younger than them.
    These days many people are not accepting the match if the age difference is more than 2 or 3 years between the male and the female.

    drrao
    always confident

  • #752301
    Traditionally our society was male dominated one though now situation is changing and in many areas both are at equal footing and women are working almost in all the areas which were once men's dominance. In earlier times the boy used to be always elder than the girl and practically made her to obey him. That could be the reason why this became a tradition in our society that the age of the boy should be more than that of the girl. Today in many modern families there is no such compulsion that the age of the boy has to be more than the girl and there are so many love marriages going around where the boy and the girl are in the same year in the same course and their ages are equal. In some cases the girl might be older by one year or so. It is also true that in some families where the family members still want to follow their culture and traditions in this matter, there will be a resistance if someone proposes a match where girl is much older.
    Knowledge is power.

  • #752311
    I heard that SIta is older than Rama. I don't know how far it is true. But the combination of Rama and Sita is admired by almost all Hindus. But many think that their married life is not very joyful. How we take it depends on our mindset. Tradition says that the wife should be younger. But I am not finding anything wrong in the wife being elder to the husband.
    drrao
    always confident


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