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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Who is responsible for a good upbringing of a child? The mother or the father?

    Children should be taught at a very young age about the right kind of behaviour and also to make them follow proper discipline,caring,sharing and understanding about the problems of others. However, some children are extremely unruly and behave very badly in public showing no respect to elders and run around in public places which makes others question the upbringing of the child. Most of the people blame the mothers for their bad behaviour. Who should be blamed if the child's behavious is not proper?
  • #752195
    Both father and mother are responsible for upbringing of the child because the ward belongs to them and there cannot be single responsibility. While father would get her all the things that have legitimate demand and look after her with all items that are needed urgently for sure and mother would nurture the child with all relevant behavior, moral lessons, teaching how to respect elders and so on. Mother is always the first teacher for the child and there cannot be best friend as mother for child as every secret, every thing is made known to the mother and especially the girl child would be very dear to the parents and father. So upbringing is between adjustments and most involvement, by both the parents and there cannot be escape on this regard and if the child goes conquering it is the parents who gets best name.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #752206
    In my opinion, both are equally responsible. For example, if the mother and father quarrel with each other in presence of their children, the children will also learn to quarrel with their siblings and also with relatives and friends. So parents should behave properly and appear to their children as role models. Then only children will come up properly.
    If the children are behaving differently both the parents should tell them and see that they will be on the correct track. If the father pampers the child and ignores the mistakes the kid will grow up in the same way and get into bad ways. The same is the case with the mother. I have seen many young people who were pampered by their parents at a young age and later when these kids grow up they will behave differently in many aspects.

    drrao
    always confident

  • #752225
    If the behaviour of the child is not proper and picking up some wrong manners then it is the sole responsibility of the parents and grandparents and all the other members present in that family in case that is a joint family or if not then on the parents if it is a nuclear family. The mind of child is like a blank slate. The family members can write anything on it and that will remain with the child through out the life.
    We have often discussed that why the children brought up in a terrorist majority society becomes a terrorist when he is grown up. It is simply the environment through which he is growing up.
    So it is up to the parents as what pattern they are showing to their children because the same patterns will be picked up by the children and they will mimic the ways of their parents.
    The concept that due to mother or due to father the child is ruined is a wrong concept. Each partner will try to put the blame on other. Actually both together are responsible for the behaviour of child and if one of them is not able to teach the child the proper manners then it doesn't matter whether it is mother or father because in any case child will be ruined.

    Knowledge is power.

  • #752268
    Both should be blamed without any doubt. When we say parents, we mean the father and the mother and not anyone in particular. There may be some reasons behind blaming only the mothers like if the mother is a housewife then people may think that the child spends more time with the mother than the father who goes out to work. In that case, it may be thought that mothers have the primary responsibility to discipline the child. This logic doesn't hold good because by saying this the fathers cannot shrug off their responsibility. The blame game will not make the child disciplined. The important thing is to make the child aware of what is acceptable behaviour and what is not. Whoever first notices it must take the initiative and should not think that it is the responsibility of either the father or mother.
    Sankalan

    "Life is easier when you enjoy what you do"

  • #752281
    I think both are responsible for annoying behaviours of the kids. There are many issues to be decided before blaming the kids. Parents, probably, don't have the time to address the pressing issues being faced by children. They lack the atmosphere of cordiality within their home premises. Might be they have witnessed the talks of their parents where there is overtone of argument and distrust between each other. Even the kids are not being listened and their parents always talk of discipline at each stage of lives. The parents don't have the time to sit with their kids explaining why a particular situation is right or otherwise. They should talk with patience guiding them the ways how they could react in any circumstances with which they are encountered. Simply fulfilling the demand of the kids would not change their behaviour unless they feel the closeness of both their fathers and mothers. They need the guidance at every stage of their lives till they attain maturity.

  • #752287
    When a child is in his first state, he thinks, he will get what he wants from his parents. That is why at this time the child's faith in the parents is immense. She considers her parents as her friends, allies, and her only refuge. She/he considers them safe and that is why they love them so much. When a child grows up, he does not forget the love of his parents. She realizes how much her parents loved and cared for her, and she feels indebted to their love. When the child grows up, he listens to his parents very carefully. He benefits from their guidance. In any complex and adverse situation, he considers his parents as his own and his own patron. So in order to make a child a healthy citizen, both the mother and the father have to take responsibility. And the two have to take care of each other's responsibilities to build the child in all respect.
    Believe in the existence of God the superpower.
    Regards
    Dhruba


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