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This thread is the winner of the TOW contest for the week 13th to 19th Feb '22.
  • Category: General

    We don't want daughters but looking for only a beautiful wife for our son.

    Daughters are still considered a burden by many in our society. Even after coming to the light of education, it is not possible to get rid of this superstition of society. Because they have not yet been freed from primitive instincts. We are responsible for this. He himself does not want a daughter but seeks a beautiful bride for his son's marriage. The gender ratio in the country became an adverse situation besides the existing laws protecting girl children. They still regard girls as products. Surprisingly, the girl's side accepted all the demands of the boy's side. It seems to be the normal rule of society. What is the way out of this?
  • #752466
    Actually, there is a demand for girls in society now. Many boys are not getting a suitable girl to marry. The specifications of many girls are very specific and finding a boy with those specifications is becoming very difficult. Many parents are struggling to find a girl for their boys even after accepting all the conditions of the girl.
    This situation is mainly due to the fewer numbers of females.
    As mentioned by the author people should not hesitate to have female kids. They should not think that they are a hindrance to their progress. In fact, these days we see many daughters taking care of their parents more than sons. So having a daughter is good and they will bring wealth to our houses. Girls are also very active these days and taking part in almost all activities and showing their supremacy in almost all the fields.

    always confident

  • #752471
    I think that our mindset is still biased to much extent in this matter and only in some educated and modern families these things are being observed in less intensity as they do not differentiate between a girl and a boy. It is very true that when we go to search a bride for our son then we ask the best of everything - beauty, virtues, obedience, culinary skills, behaviour, respecting elders, social, entertaining the relatives, does not leave house without permission, does not visit her parents often, and many more like that as the list is endless. But at the same time what we teach to our daughters? I have seen some mothers telling their daughters that from day one they should make their in-laws understand their powers and if required take help of their husbands in dominating and controlling them. So definitely it is a dual standard and is in a bad taste.
    Knowledge is power.

  • #752473
    We have not been in a position to change our mindset despite our tremendous progress in terms of education and our financial progress. We do have two different mindset. If we belong to be father of the girl, we would try our best to settle the marriage earliest possible not thinking much about her education. She might attend a degree college for which charges are affordable where as the the son would receive education in the premier institutions where money would not be any consideration. This sort of discrimination could be seen in many middle class families. This proves that the girls are unwanted products for most of the middle class families but the guardians of the families would expect a high dowery in the event of his son's marriage.she should be highly educated with a potential of earning decent income to support the family. Really they think that the girls are the innocent dolls and should obey always the rules of the males dominated societies.

  • #752506
    When a baby girl is born even now some parents and grand parents especially parents of the man feel very dejected and unabashedly let out their feelings in the hospital itself. The reason they give makes me feel pity for them instead of getting angry. They say that the girl child is a liability as they have to spend for her wedding,give dowry and give gifts when they visit the married women"s house which is crystal clear that only because of expenditure they do not welcome the child. But they never think that there are many boys whom they had brought up very lavishly, had just broken their heart several times by demanding a share in their property when are still alive and ask money for buying cars and other luxurious items. True Dhruba, there is a double standard. By posting this thread, you have helped me to let out my feelings which has long been hidden in my heart and soul.

  • #752532
    That was the nice dig at those groom who are looking for more beautiful bride and in the process wasted most of the age and they are now running towards 40 years and no marriage taken place. When the parents are having reservations on having a daughter as child, then they have no right to ask for beautiful wife for their only son. Marriages are decided in the heaven and we only make try. Not all matchings would be 100 percent agreeable to both sides and some compromise of give and take must take place otherwise too much asking would lead to nothing and nil. For the people like this, the alliance should not have happened, because their demands are selfish and nothing suits to the society. Shame on them to weigh the daughter in law to look beautiful and does not want to own a girl child and that is stupid thinking.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

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