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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    'No' in the beginning is always better than in the end.

    We are all living in a society and we are all interdependent. We require help from others and others require help from us. This mutual interaction only keeps us moving together.

    When somebody approaches us for some help we should accept only if we can do that. If we accept and later on we fail to help them, the other party will suffer and we will also feel guilty. So we should assess our capability and then only we should say yes. Initially saying yes and later on not being able to deliver the goods is not correct. If we feel that we may not be able to stand up to the requirements of others we should never hesitate to say 'No'. That will give a clear understanding to the other party and they will try other sources.

    So elders always say that saying 'no' in the beginning is always better than saying at the end. Any comments, please.
  • #753641
    While I do agree with the author that we should be forthright and frank in saying no for those who are approaching for help but consider the fact the person who approach us would be of high hopes and if we say no at the first instance even before trying to help is something shirking our responsibility. I do agree that some reach out may not be possible from our side to which we may say negative at the first instance, but we have the options to approach others and ask for help to help the aggrieved person. We should always have hurt never policy and by saying no at the beginning itself will shatter all the hopes of the aggrieved person and he would think twice to approach others because he had much hopes on us and we had turned down. More over we cannot have same yardstick of approach with everyone.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #753646
    Whenever someone approaches us for help then after hearing the person we should be able to communicate with him effectively. For this first we should listen him in details. If required we should also ask questions of various types to ascertain what he is actually asking from us. Once we have understood his need and his expectations for help from us then we should tell him a clear cut no or a clear cut yes or something like helping him partially. if we are not in a position to tell him our answer right then, then we should ask him to wait and maybe come back after sometime before we tell him our final decision in the matter. There are many factors on which depends whether we will help a person or not but apart from all that there should be the clarity in our communication and it should be very clear and give the clear message about our view point for helping him.
    there is no point in talking in a roundabout way and not telling whether we will be able to help him or not. Why to confuse him when a simple no or yes would end the interaction.

    Knowledge is power.

  • #753648
    The author is very correct in pointing out that sometimes one should also say no one cannot keep up the promise. I can also never say no if anyone asks for a favor from me and in the process get into trouble. It is always better to think wisely before you make any commitments;

  • #753650
    The author's suggestion is absolutely right, in the beginning, many times people are unable to do it due to hesitation or hesitation and always end up creating confusion for themselves by saying yes to everything. If you help someone out of mind or in some compulsion, then somewhere your full contribution will not be in that help. In this way, it is better to give helpless advice or help to someone that you refuse at the beginning while making him aware of the reality because after a time you may make up your mind to leave in the middle and it will be more painful. So if you really want to help someone do not give them fake help.

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