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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Teach children how to deal with quarrels

    A quarrel is not related to any particular age or class, but it is a reality that occurs due to differences in relationships, feelings, knowledge, thinking etc. The issues leading to quarrel among elders can be a bit serious, but when we talk about children's quarrels, they may be minor issues and can also be funny at times. When children at home quarrel over the TV remote or something specific, we try to resolve them on the basis of the relationship. But when the child comes out with the same quarrel with friends or someone else, then he may be given a different advice depending upon the attitude of the parents which may be positive or negative.

    This childhood teaching given by parents decides many dimensions in the future of a child. According to you, what advice should be given to the children in this matter so that, neither he becomes aggressive nor cowardly? Please share your experience and knowledge here.
  • #754489
    How to deal with conflicts must be learned by the children and the mother should educate them. When the children does not have the courage and trust to play with others, better they can keep quiet at the home and need not bring outside conflicts to the house. My father used to scold us and even beat us first when someone complaints that we have wronged and their children got hurt. But my father never asked our clarification and simply advise why you gone there in spite of restricting and now face the consequences. Some children are more friendship and they try to forget the faceoffs immediately and wants to be friends again. But some are more possessive and they would not excuse anyone. So the parents must be careful and allow the children to sort out themselves and they should not interfere.
    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #754493
    Yes, the children need to be taught by their parents and how they teach their children matters a lot. Quarrelling over small things is not conflict initially but may turn into a bigger conflict if not addressed properly. If the children fight over the remote control of the television set the parents must teach them to respect each other's choices and may tell them to fix the time of viewing the television on their own. They must let the children understand since there is a single television set everyone cannot enjoy the program of their choice at the same time and need to find out what are programs each one can view in their own suitable time. They should be allowed to make a list by sitting together and if it doesn't work out then the parents may help them. Giving them small responsibilities from the beginning will help them to understand things rather than quarrelling over them.

    Mohan Sir @#754489, you have mentioned that the mother should educate the children to handle conflicts whereas you have given the example of your father when someone complained against you in childhood. Why this is so? Both the parents are equally responsible for the upbringing of the child and it cannot be the responsibility of either the mother or the father.


    "Life is easier when you enjoy what you do"

  • #754499
    That is true. Parents should mentor their children in many aspects in which how to manage conflicts is also included. Here when the children from different families quarrel we should see that who is a real fault. We should not show a tendency to support our own children. If that is done the quarrel may escalate and may become a conflict between the families.
    The role of parents is very important especially when the children are in an early age. If it is within the children of the family we can try to passivated somebody and make an adjustment so that they will be having an understanding. It is will become very difficult sometimes to manage the issue. So we should tell them some stories from our epics and other books and come out with morals so that slowly they will also understand the ground realities and amend their behaviour.

    always confident

  • #754503
    Indeed. It is only when they are young they can learn how to deal with major and minor conflicts. Their way to deal with inconveniences and conflict will be with them for a long period of time. I believe socialization can help them with this. As the primary source of socialization are the parents, they should teach them with ways that are ideal when faced with conflict. They should be taught to listen to the other person and solve conflict with understanding and not with any form of violence. Later on life, the child should be given the opportunity to mold their way of dealing with conflict by socializing with their environment.
    Believe in the existence of God the superpower.

  • #754518
    Children are very sensitive and at that age their behaviour is to be taken as affected by their sensitiveness to the various matters in the family. They are at a learning stage and we cannot expect much from them that they would behave like a matured person. If parents are concerned to train the children then they have to do a lot of efforts in that direction to teach them how to behave and not to react on small matters. The children are also to be told that they have to wait before crying and shouting for things that they wanted the parents to provide them. They should be taught the value of time and discipline in their lives and should be clearly told that if they do not learn waiting for things then they might be refused sometimes for that and they only would be responsible for that. We have to inculcate some fear in their mind otherwise they would take the things lightly and always remain in conflicting domain. Teaching children is not an easy job as it requires a lot of patience and time to educate them. Every parent is not able to do that.
    Knowledge is power.

  • #754558
    Nowadays children are very smart and have started learning many negative aspects by watching television and playing games online. However, the parents must teach their children to have tolerance and behave politely when they play with other children of society. They should never be aggressive because if they hit other children, some kind of conflict will surely arise which is not good for their well-being. Good moral values and positive thinking should be taught by the parents so that when they grow up, they should be an asset to society.

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