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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Marriage soon after the death of a patriarch- advisable or not?

    One of my friend had arranged the marriage of his only daughter and it is to be held this month. The marriage has the blessings of both the sides and other elders. But unfortunately, my friend's father expired yesterday at his ancestral home and thus every one had to rush there. The marriage preparations are also on and has to be attended to. Now he is in a dilemma whether to go ahead with the marriage or not. What is your suggestion?
  • #754794
    Traditionally and culturally we observe a few days of mourning after the death of the person in the family. From that aspect the marriage ceremony has to be postponed for at least 10 days or at least 3 days as per the custom of the concerned society. If there are some compelling reasons for doing the marriage at the stipulated time like boy is leaving for abroad on the next day or things like that then in such cases the function is to be curtailed and no fun and fair activity would be there without inviting the guests and a simple marriage by the priest or marriage registrar is to be conducted. Later after a few months a reception can be arranged for getting the blessings of friends and relatives. I personally feel that we have to give the due respect to the deceased and by adopting these ways that would surely be achieved. This is the demand of our culture and traditions.
    Knowledge is power.

  • #754863
    There are two angles to this issue. One is the rituals and religious practices. The second one is marriage. When one of the parents dies, their sons will have year-long restrictions. They are not supposed to perform any function and should not even visit the temples. They should start doing all these only after one year of death. in 1999, I purchased an apartment in Hyderabad. The house was ready for occupation and we are waiting for an auspicious day to enter the house. Meanwhile, my mother's father died. He has no sons. I am the eldest grandson. So I have to follow the Yetisutakam ( Year-long restrictions). So we have postponed that housewarming function for a year and we went into that house after one year only.
    But these days people are having different opinions and they may feel that there is no merit in these beliefs. So it all depends on the individual thinking and beliefs. However, marriage should not be performed for at least 11 days. after the death.

    drrao
    always confident

  • #754866
    It is not necessary to focus on traditions when it is the question of something important, which in this case is a marriage. Yes, one must respect the deceased person, but that person would surely be happy that his granddaughter is getting married. Moreover, the date gets fixed after a lot of consultation, I am sure, with priests, to fix the auspicious day and time, and all arrangements have been made, which would include the booking of the hall, the catering services, etc. In this scenario, one needs to be practical as well, in considering the financial aspects. Will the hall and caterers refund the money?

    If at all it is the case that in the somber mood of the death the marriage needs to be postponed, then, if possible, the couple could have a registered marriage on the already decided date, and at a later appropriate day have the marriage with the traditional rituals. Alternatively, go ahead with the marriage on a smaller scale. Just have only both the immediate families present without other relatives or friends.

    Death is a part of life. Let not a happy couple's marriage get bogged down by traditions.

    When you make a commitment, you create hope. When you keep a commitment you create trust! ~ John C. Maxwell

  • #754912
    It was a really sad accident. By the way, this decision should be taken with the advice of elders of the house and other special relatives, because these matters are very sensitive. Marriage is a big event, but at the same time, when a member of his own family is going away from us forever after leaving the world in this way, then the family members will not be able to attend any function happily even if they want. If there is no urgent reason, then it is advisable to postpone the marriage for some time, it will also be moral and later you will be able to complete the marriage in a more pleasant atmosphere but as I said in the beginning also, the final decision is taken by the elders of the family. , and of persons wise


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