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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    How to convince parents for Love Marriage within same caste

    Hi. I am 27yr old girl, working in IT company since 2019. I am in relationship with a guy for 7yrs. We became good friends and came into relationship later. We are of same age and he runs a coaching institute now. He is also preparing for Govt. exam. I belong to an orthodox Odia Brahmin family where my parents believe that they will accept any other guy for my marriage but not my boyfriend. My boyfriend met with an accident in his childhood and he lost his right eye then. He has prosthetic eye now. My family has issue with his eye and his family. Although, my parents know his family well, they have a concern that the guy's family is not well settled and doesn't share the same status as ours. He belongs to a reputed family and is preparing for job just to convince my parents for marriage. We both are sure that we will.marry each other. His family is fine with our relationship. My parents are overreacting ever since I told them that I will marry this guy only, and not any other guy. If you don't approve of this marriage, I will not but don't force me to marry someone else. Everyday they are tyrying to convince me that I should see other guys and not talk with my boyfriend and stop being in relationship with him. I don't know why my family feels they are superior and people will make fun of me because of his eye if I marry him. I have no problem with his eye and I love him. My grandparents, uncle, aunt and parents are blaming me that I should think of their reputation in society and not marry him. They are taking tension and not sleeping well. They will die of heart attack, they are claiming because of me. Everyday, my parents are talking ill of my boyfriend. He is a good guy with good values. They are not ready to listen to me and only pointing their understanding towards his family. How shall I convince them?
  • #756001
    Are you ready to come out of your house and marry the boy, irrespective of the acceptance of your family members?
    Is the family of the boy willing for your marriage, if you leave your family and come out? If they say that it is better to convince your parents, can your boyfriend convince their family members and marry you without the blessing of your parents?
    The way you described it, it is very difficult to convince your parents. So, discuss with your boyfriend and tell him that you will come out of your family and marry him. If he says OK for it, you tell your parents that you can't wait for long and at any cost marry that boy and also tell them that you are ready to sacrifice your family to marry that boy. Then your family members may understand, how much serious you are and may accept finally. If still they don't accept, you have to go ahead with your plan and slowly after some time your family will accept your marriage and they will be normal with you.

    always confident

  • #756006

    This is very unfortunate that parents never try to gauge the likes and preference of the girl for marriage and only harp on such issues and matter which does become stumbling block to the marriage. In your case I must appreciate your great gesture and courage to accept the boy with some eye problem. You say that his family and good and belongs to orthodox family. What I feel that the boy seems to be intelligent and has the knack to settle for his life as he runs the coaching institute. And you being the the techie, surely the life would be great and going. Have the courage to face your family and get ready to for marriage with the same boy. In fact I was eager to mediate on behalf you with your parents had they reside in Hyderabad. I too have many Odia friends and one such is Mishra, a brahmin and gives lots of respect to me.

    K Mohan
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #756016
    Thank you for your response. The guy's family has no problem with me and they have accepted me whole heartedly. I told my parents about our relationship this month and they were on doubt of this thing earlier as well. They are creating various issues like standard, society, and how people would laugh at us. For them, having a house of their own matters the most. The guy family will build their own house soon. My family is talking very ill of them as if they are very inferior. Both of my parents are working so they think they have prestige and I have spoilee everything. I am going back to my workplace after all this drama during work from home. They are planning to see other guys once I am back to home after some months. They have asked me not to talk to that guy.

  • #756018
    They have also involved my maternal grandfather in this matter to convince me to marry somebody else. They are trying to convince me saying that if I don't want to marry anybody else, I should be all alone throughout life but they will never accept him. My parents sometimes think that they should see other guys for me and when I oppose, they get angry and keep saying, someone has evil eyes on me and have done something. I don't know how to convince them as I will only marry my boyfriend and will wait till they agree. I am scared that they shouldn't insult the guy family on face.

  • #756021
    You are an adult and mature lady. If you find your boyfriend capable and sincerely feel both of you will be able to live life together, you must go ahead and chose him as your partner.

    Your parents may have some issues because your boyfriend has lost one eye. But if both of you can lead a normal conjugal life, they will definitely bless you and your partner in future.

    Best of luck!!!

    “Khamosh rahoon toh mushkil hain, keh doon toh shikayat hoti hain" (It is difficult to remain silent; But if I speak, they complain.) --------- Saba Afghani

  • #756027
    I think you have to say bye to your parents and marry that boy if you are really serious. You tell the boy about your decision and take the consent of his parents and then plan accordingly. But think twice. You should not regret your decision afterwards. Please discuss in detail with the boy and then decide the course of action.
    always confident

  • #756041
    Many young people today in our country are facing similar problem when their parents are not agreeing for the match that these young people had searched themselves. Many parents are very rigid and strict in this matter and will never agree with the choice of their children.
    In your case your parents are not agreeing with your choice. You have to take a judicious decision in the matter. How much are you sure that the family of the boy will accept you in toto. Another thing is the reliability factor of the boy. Many times in the young age due to infatuation people err in their judgement and fall in wrong relationship. One should be very careful in this matter.
    If you are very sure and confident about all these things then take your own decision in your life as you are a mature person and legally capable of taking your own decisions.

    Knowledge is power.

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