Category: Miscellaneous

02 Dec 2022 16:12

Joined:	20/04/2018
Level:	Gold
Points:	55771

Points:	5

Being trained in family cultures does help to shape values

Over a period of 35 years, I have observed, spoken to, and still interact with around 45 children of diverse families. A few of them are even from Mumbai and West Bengal and have some relatives in Chennai and Coimbatore. In fact, one of the best is from a Gujarathi family, which still lives in Coimbatore.

Common to these 45 children, the eldest of whom will be around 34 years old, is the training of bonding that they have received from their highly principled parents and relatives. There are five parents who have sacrificed a lot and are living very simple lives in different villages in rented houses in Tamil Nadu and in Kerala as well. Their sons or daughters are in the USA, but these children are still those who have deep bonding with the societies here.

Central to this process is the care that they take to contribute to the wider society in some small way or the other. Those who are NRIs, have some common platform to donate things in kind to old age homes, orphanages, and so on. When they visit India, they still take part in the temple festivals and are keen to stick to family customs,

However, their children, for the most part, belong to the YIFW generation. That is YouTube Instagram, Facebook, and What's up generation. My efforts to even communicate with the children have mostly failed. They are unaware of what goes on around them. Even if they see visuals of someone suffering, they simply tell others, including their parents, "what to do, it is their fate".

In relatively rich families, the problem is even more acute. The bonding happens only between their close friends. Even children who are just nine years old, want to be fiercely independent and do not want to be controlled even by their parents.

So, are we seeing the last generation of those in the 45-plus age group and above, as those who really bond with each other, with cultural and family values intact? Or their children who are now in their thirties?

#767424

02 Dec 2022 16:49

Joined:	02/06/2009
Level:	Diamond
Points:	145329

Points:	5

I feel this affection and bonding depends more on the culture of the family and how the parents brought up their children, There are a good number of people whom I know and who work in the IT industry in India and abroad. They all maintain good relations with all their relatives and help the people whom they know and need some help. I know some people who refused to settle abroad and came back to India as they don't want to miss their family friends and relatives. Many of them are in their mid-thirties or early 40s.
So the legacy may continue and may not stop abruptly. Only the percentage may vary. It is the responsibility of the parents of kids now to teach them the importance of values and virtues in our lives. If we start teaching them from an early age itself it is easy to mend their ways. It all depends on the parents and their time allocation to bring up their children in a traditional way.

drrao
always confident

#767427

02 Dec 2022 18:46

Joined:	20/04/2018
Level:	Gold
Points:	55771

Points:	1

Rao Sir, I agree with you. Since most of the children referred to are from urban families, I do not know what is going on in the smaller towns. Generally, those from the cities or towns with a rich agricultural base have values intact. The agricultural people have very good values in terms of bonding, helping others etc. The reasons may be huge. But the main reason is that the people are quite innocent and their minds are not polluted by all the selfish tendencies that are part of city life.

#767428

02 Dec 2022 20:30

Joined:	25/11/2014
Level:	Diamond
Points:	43273

Points:	4

The author is right that the kids should be taught the values of good culture and the same is to be maintained all along their lives. The prime role to shape their children lies with the parents and their children are more receptive to their parents at the nascent ages. It would be rather difficult to reshape them at the later stages. Hence a good family culture always create positivity among the kids and would help others readily in case they need any help. If they are reared in the negative atmosphere, the results could be otherwise. In such situations, the kids would be suspicious, arrogant and not believing others. With their negative emotions, they themselves are laced with negative emotions which might retardate their growth in practical lives.

#767453

03 Dec 2022 18:40

Joined:	04/05/2009
Level:	Gold
Points:	31212

Points:	5

Our country is named for culture. We are all formed our life with ethics based on very good culture. Our family systems are valued highly by other countries. But to unfortunate, our present age people do stay away from our own culture and dreaming with foreign culture. Unless otherwise we do not follow or patronize our culture how we can expect from others and before our naked eyes our own culture got ruining slowly. To put a pull stop for this our present parents should educate their children with culture, though it is like a bitter medicine to them and the parents should take high effort for this for the sake our our own Country, they need not go to army to protect our country but if they protect our culture, that itself a great thing to save our country. Irrespective of religion we have many cultures but basically all are one and same.
Parents should take their children to the nearby temples at least once in a week and they should go to the temples once in a week so as the children will follow them in day course. Compulsorily the house persons should sit for group talking so as to keep bondage between the family members. Kids should taught with good manners like not biting nails, not growing big nails/hanging hairs in boys, curtailing the mobile or television watching hours, unnecessarily waking up in late nights etc., Above all parents should talk with children casually and as a father and mother but never rigidly as manager or officer.

#767462

04 Dec 2022 16:36

Joined:	02/01/2012
Level:	Gold
Points:	51633

Points:	4

I think the 45 or so children (now adults) to whom the author is referring to have failed. Or is it that their parents have failed? Traditions and values are expected to be passed on through generations. Only then will they remain intact. The parents of the fortunate 45 may have succeeded in imbibing humanity and moral values in their children but why could not their children do the same? Technological developments, no doubt, has an influence over the attitude and characteristics of the present generation but why are they distancing themselves from our basic culture and values? It is not the technological advance only but, I feel, erosion of the value of relationships that is playing the villain.

'Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all'.
-Aristotle

#767466

04 Dec 2022 22:37

Joined:	19/06/2011
Level:	Gold
Points:	87632

Points:	5 (₹ 3)

A child's first education is received from its family starting from the mother. By the time it reaches school-going age it would have learned and created its own basics it got from the family. Then it starts learning from the wider society beginning from its classmates and teachers and all the people it comes into contact and interacts. Here, if there is not much difference from what it learned from its family, then these basics get hard-reinforced and they become its values and characteristics. But it may not be so always. There can be some differences and even clashes of the same. Here the child gets confused and may imbibe whatever it sees to be more acceptable to more people and that which gives it more ease and comfort.

The family has a very important role to observe the child and bring it to the correct and proper values and lifestyle with proper direction, practice and advising suggestions. The child has to be taught rights, wrongs and consequences. Once the good values are built-in and reinforced, they will be the reflux recall whenever such a need arises, even if the normal routine does not need or allow that.

#767467

04 Dec 2022 23:31

Joined:	10/07/2018
Level:	Gold
Points:	33389

Points:	10 (₹ 10)

Parents, teachers, and society all have a role in shaping children's values. Since children stay at home for longer periods their interaction with their parents should be for a longer duration, ideally. But nowadays as both parents are professionals they cannot spend enough time with their children. Even if they stay with their children many of the parents remain busy with their professional assignments and cannot spend quality time with their children. Staying with their children and spending quality time is quite different. Because of the lack of quality time they cannot inculcate the traditional values among the present generation.

Now if we look into the education system, we will find it's mostly rote learning and the values and cultural bindings are limited to a couple of subjects studied very early in their school lives. They studied and teachers taught what is there in the book but the values are never fully practised at random in their lives. Practising the values learnt cannot be limited to the boundaries of the school and must be followed everywhere and in every aspect. If the children say 'what to do, it is their fate' when they see anyone suffering it is not because of their ignorance rather, these terms or the phrase inside the quote is reinforced into them from their surroundings. Parents need to sit with their children to make them understand what is going on. If they are left to fend for themselves they will follow only what they see. Someone must be there to guide them and if it is not there then it will not be so easy to deal with the children.

Sankalan

"Life is easier when you enjoy what you do"

Being trained in family cultures does help to shape values

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