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20 Feb 2023 21:35

Joined:	11/12/2021
Level:	Gold
Points:	4075

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It is good to have more than two children.Do you agree?

Nowadays, many couples earn a lot but prefer to have only one or two children. However, some people do have three children even these days. Although a few people believe that it is better to have one or two children, looking at the plight of old parents who are just dumped by their children at senior citizens' homes to escape from the responsibilities of taking them to hospitals, giving them company, I feel that having three children would be a better option because at least one of them would keep their parents with them till their demise.

Even though we are five siblings, my elder sister and my younger brother used to take care of our parents so lovingly that the other old parents who had been neglected by their children would feel envious looking at them. As I was in a different state where my parents lived, I could only visit them during my daughter's summer vacation.

It is very disgusting to find some children forcing their parents to make a will when they are still alive. They can not even wait for the day of their demise. Earlier, the house where the parents lived with three or four children used to be full of happiness. Even the poorest families would celebrate all important festivals together with their relatives. Some parents wait eagerly for phone calls or video calls from their children who have settled abroad so that at least they can have some conversation with their dear children.

The media is given more attention by all the members of the family. The children are never present in the living room but would chat with their friends on social media or watch something on their laptops or smartphones. The parents prefer watching television to kill their boredom. The grandchildren do not like to listen to the stories because they like to watch cartoons.

Some of you reading this post would argue that having three children would not be good for the increasing population. But, how can we make the literate and modern youth of our country realize the importance of having their old parents amidst them, keeping them happy and helping them in various ways so that they would bless their children with plenty of happiness and prosperity which I feel is very important? Our ancestors used to advise the youth of their time that making the old parents shed tears by neglecting and hurting them would make them suffer in later stages of their lives and would call it bad karma.

Let us discuss this, please.

#769749

21 Feb 2023 06:34

Joined:	10/12/2016
Level:	Diamond
Points:	109208

Points:	5

This is a very thought provoking post by the author and deserves threadbare discussions.
It is a fact that there has been a paradigm shift in the behaviour of children towards their parents during the last few decades not only in India but in many other countries which are developing and getting modernised in all the ways. This trend had already come in some advanced western countries long back and now we are following the same.
So the problem is not with one child or two children or three children or more children but problem is in the changed behaviour of children today towards the parents. It is an unfortunate trend but the fact is that it is there.
One thing which is more unfortunate in this world is that cultural, traditional, and conventional things when they change with time then they are all of irreversible nature and they don't come back to their original forms.
There has been a great change from joint families to nuclear families and there has been many other changes in the attitude of children towards parents which has finally resulted in the present situation.
Today old age homes in India are mushrooming at a very fast rate and these old age homes are emerging as per the need of the people depending on their financial status and conditions.
Today the elders in a very few families are able to keep their children with them that also when they had inculcated good values in them since their early childhood and are maintaining that till today. In such cases where children are financially dependent on parents and are not going out of their towns or cities for jobs, the situation is better as compared to those who are flying away and having big jobs elsewhere.

Knowledge is power.

#769759

21 Feb 2023 17:54

Joined:	04/05/2009
Level:	Gold
Points:	31212

Points:	2

It is highly acceptable from the children's side as it helps them indirectly in many ways. It on the other hand protect them also from many sides.
It may be denied from the side of Population controls authorities, there has been no issues found earlier. But the thing is the parents should never opt child employment or letting them to beg on streets. Alternatively they can avail the free education offered by respective State Governments.
It is too better to turn back to joint family system in order to avoid isolating the children by forgetting or ignoring the mental agony or vengeance on elders.

#769768

22 Feb 2023 11:12

Joined:	14/07/2012
Level:	Diamond
Points:	20385

Points:	5

After reading your post, I can understand your genuine reason why you have come up with such thoughts. However, how practically it is possible to have more than 2 or 3 children is a reasonable debate in such a lifestyle where we are not all living in a joint family. What I feel and my personal opinion is, we should stop comparing our previous living lifestyle with the current. This is not at all possible to return to the old version of life when we start living in a joint family. So, it would be better if we look ahead and try to manage it.

The irony of life is, if our one or two children cannot look after us, what is the guarantee that if we have 3 or more children, they will? In fact, the more children we have the more rift between them to look after their parents become more. It is not that all families who have 1 child or two are facing this brutal problem, not at all! Yes, there may be a few but not everyone! I know and have seen the family, who have 2 daughters and both of them looking after their parents even after their married life.

Now, coming to today's youth of having addicted to mobile phones and laptops and getting busy with their lifestyle, not caring much about families values are the current situations. We simply can't run away from this change and we can't force them to change according to us, right? The situation will become even more in near future, so we need to manage with them and at the same time we have our duties to make them understand the falues of life. Simply complaining will neither take us or them anywhere.

#769781

22 Feb 2023 16:41

Joined:	02/06/2009
Level:	Diamond
Points:	145277

Points:	5

I feel how many children one should have will depend on the individual and his financial status.
Kauravas are 100 but none of them brought good name to their parents with their behaviour. At the same time Pandavas are only 5 but they brought a good name to their parents and the God is always with them.
Some how I am not able to accept the concept that at least one among the three will take care of their parents in their ola age. Probability may increase. But the problems will also increase. I am seeing many present day mothers. They have no patience to see that their children will come up properly. The mothers also like fathers go out and earn. So the way of bringing up their children will be same irrespective of 2 or 3.
My father has taken care of his parents and he trained me properly and now I am taking care of my parents. So it is not numbers that will be of importance but it is the way in which you bring them up speaks more.

drrao
always confident

#769796

22 Feb 2023 22:49

Joined:	10/07/2018
Level:	Gold
Points:	33389

Points:	5

How the third child will care for the parents when the other two are unable to do it is not clear here. It may be just an assumption of the author but just having one more instead of two children is not going to solve the problem. What will be the behaviour of children when they grow up depends on many factors and upbringing have a great role here. There is a tendency among many to avoid responsibilities other than their own needs and they do not show any sense of responsibility even towards their fellow beings. Nowadays, the realization among people is less and people are quite impatient. There are many who argue and quarrel unnecessarily at the drop of a hat and in such cases, it is quite difficult to stay together with other people, even with family members. Those who realize it early mend their behaviour and remain responsible. When people realize they have responsibilities towards each other then things do change and people never avoid responsibilities.

Sankalan

"Life is easier when you enjoy what you do"

#769839

24 Feb 2023 16:50

Joined:	19/06/2011
Level:	Gold
Points:	87632

Points:	5

For the replacement ratio, it is necessary for a couple to have two children at least. Many nations are now realising this truth. It is like the adage that 'we do not know the value of vision until we lose sight,(lose vision).
Family planning was the motto since the seventies. It was very vehemently implemented with incentives. Now many nations face the subsequent issues of such vehement and over enthusiastic restriction implementation.

Fertility rates are decreasing fast both for men and women in most nations and most communities. That is leading to many individual and social issues.
Some communities have started announcing incentives and even lifelong financial and other assistance for couples having more children(because it was the fear of financial burden that compelled couples to limit family).

There are other points also affecting the lonely child's growth. which signals the need to have a sibling . Hence every couple should have at least two children for reasons cited above.

#769844

25 Feb 2023 00:13

Joined:	19/06/2011
Level:	Gold
Points:	87632

Points:	5

By my above response I have stressed the need for minimum two children. If a couple wants to have more children it is well and good. But my stand is based on reason different from what is expressed by the author( that at least one of them would keep their parents with them till their demise.) My reason is that by this the average may be around the necessary two as there may be couples having only one child as well as couples without children also. That way the replacement ratio can be maintained at average of two.

Taking care of parents is depending on various factors influencing individuals and families and also some external situations occurring. That cannot be predicted precisely now. But what
society and governments can do is to provide facilities for security and care for old people.

#769845

25 Feb 2023 08:47

Joined:	02/01/2012
Level:	Gold
Points:	51591

Points:	5

Having more than two children on the belief that you will be looked after by at least one when you grow old is, I think, nothing but a mirage. There is no guarantee for that. Though the intensity of the thought has increased in the present days, it was always there that you beget and so it is your responsibility to nurture them and make them stand on their own feet. Expecting our children to reciprocate is not advisable for your own mental peace. If they look after you and care for you, consider yourself blessed and if not, for whatever reasons (not necessarily because they don't love you), just leave it at that and ensure that you remain healthy and does not have to depend on them.

That point apart, I am of the view that we should have at least two children. That would ensure that they have some company at home. Even though we say that parents can be like friends to your children, I think there would be a limit to your interactions. If there are two kids at home, they would be able to share their emotions and can enjoy their time together. They will also have someone very close to them even after you leave this world. Difference of opinion and quarrels may (will) be there but the warmth of the relationship is something special and we need to admit that.

'Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all'.
-Aristotle

#769847

25 Feb 2023 11:17

Joined:	25/11/2014
Level:	Diamond
Points:	43265

Points:	5

It is really an unfortunate phase that the parents taking so much care for their children ignoring their comforts are lastly shown their doors for no faults of theirs. The attitudes of the youths have changed which we have seen earlier how the youths were affectionate and close to their parents. If we say that these children were not taught family values, it is not like that. It could be due to other factors due to which the kids are behaving in the indifferent ways. The son might be of helpful nature but his wife is not of supportive nature. The son would not like to create any tension within the family with his interference in managing the family issues. Though this issue also reflects us of our incompetence to provide them a better culture. However, as suggested by the author that the third child could avert such such an embarrassing situation might not come true. This could be called the imaginative dream of the author.
Now considering our roles in offering our children best education, good upbringing and best family values are the essential criteria to make our kids responsible so that they would behave sensibly with others. But seeing the trend of the society, we should be prepared for living in old age home if the situations are not favourable.

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