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Category: Miscellaneous
#769848
What the author has depicted in her post is not very uncommon and we come across such shocking news time to time. Despite the best financial support provided to their children apart from upbringing them with intense passion and warmth, the elders are treated in such harsh ways. The unfortunate part for the elders that they are struggling hard to fulfil their daily activities owing to their deteriorating health and in such conditions, driving them away from the residence is the reflection of cruelty of their sons/ daughters.
Though old aged homes might be one of the substitutes for their rehabilitation but this involves massive money which the seniors cannot afford from their end.
This is proving to be dangerous trend in the existing society and the same needs to be tackled effectively by all sensible people and social workers to minimise such occurrences.
Though old aged homes might be one of the substitutes for their rehabilitation but this involves massive money which the seniors cannot afford from their end.
This is proving to be dangerous trend in the existing society and the same needs to be tackled effectively by all sensible people and social workers to minimise such occurrences.
#769854
There has been a lot of change in the society in respect of taking care of elderly people in the families in our country. This is an unfortunate change but it has happened. That is the reason why so many commercial or social old age homes are mushrooming in our country for giving shelter to these people either on a nominal payment basis or by charging them hefty monthly fees.
There are very few families where joint family structural is still existing and children are taking care of their parents in the normal way. It is said that this is the toll that modernisation has put on all of us. We have forgotten many valuable things pertaining to our traditions and culture and gone in the stream of western ways and that is the main reason why such things are happening in our families. There are some other reasons also where the children have gone abroad and settled there and parents are all alone here.
Knowledge is power.
There are very few families where joint family structural is still existing and children are taking care of their parents in the normal way. It is said that this is the toll that modernisation has put on all of us. We have forgotten many valuable things pertaining to our traditions and culture and gone in the stream of western ways and that is the main reason why such things are happening in our families. There are some other reasons also where the children have gone abroad and settled there and parents are all alone here.
Knowledge is power.
#769860
We are hearing many such incidents these days.
Today my car driver was telling an incident that happened very recently. One old man was having 3 sons. His wife died and he was having 3 sons. He used to stay with his elder son. Elder son asked him to give the property completely to him only. But father told him that all the sons should get their share. So the son took him so a new place and left him there. He wandered here and there and finally after 4 days he died. Police has seen the dead body and through his Aadhar Card they could trace him out. No son went even to collect the body and the police completed the final rituals. Even in rural areas such issues are happening. Very unfortunate.
Our parents are the Gods whom we can see. It is the duty of the sons and daughters to take care of their parents when they are in difficulties. Hope people will understand this and try to be human beings. It is our minimum duty to give food to a person who is starving. But some people are not feeding even their parents even.
drrao
always confident
Today my car driver was telling an incident that happened very recently. One old man was having 3 sons. His wife died and he was having 3 sons. He used to stay with his elder son. Elder son asked him to give the property completely to him only. But father told him that all the sons should get their share. So the son took him so a new place and left him there. He wandered here and there and finally after 4 days he died. Police has seen the dead body and through his Aadhar Card they could trace him out. No son went even to collect the body and the police completed the final rituals. Even in rural areas such issues are happening. Very unfortunate.
Our parents are the Gods whom we can see. It is the duty of the sons and daughters to take care of their parents when they are in difficulties. Hope people will understand this and try to be human beings. It is our minimum duty to give food to a person who is starving. But some people are not feeding even their parents even.
drrao
always confident
#769867
The author has shot up the sad affairs of the modern society we are living in where senior citizens have become the victims of their children. Coincidentally, I watched a Youtube channel just this evening related to this post. A person who was social worker was interviewing some old people who had left behind their property and children and had settled down as sadhus and beggars at a well-known place on the top of a hill where a famous Shiva temple is located.
My attitude towards life itself changed when I heard the old people telling him that although they had children who were well off, they had left their property and just walked out of their houses as they were being ill-treated by their sons and daughters and daughters-in-law. What was even more surprising was they have been happily living on the hill for many years despite sleeping in the open area without proper sanitation. Food was provided to them adequately by the NGOs and other people.
How can people who had led a life in the comfort of their houses leave everything and retire to a place where there is no proper roof above their head and even there were no private washrooms?
Their children who are living comfortably at the houses of their parents with their family should realize that the sin of driving their parents away from home will never be pardoned by God and one day the Karma will boomerang on them.
Blessed are the parents whose children take proper care of their old parents till their demise, do not hurt them, and serve them well. Let their number grow leaps and bounds in the future and may God bless them with all the happiness.
My attitude towards life itself changed when I heard the old people telling him that although they had children who were well off, they had left their property and just walked out of their houses as they were being ill-treated by their sons and daughters and daughters-in-law. What was even more surprising was they have been happily living on the hill for many years despite sleeping in the open area without proper sanitation. Food was provided to them adequately by the NGOs and other people.
How can people who had led a life in the comfort of their houses leave everything and retire to a place where there is no proper roof above their head and even there were no private washrooms?
Their children who are living comfortably at the houses of their parents with their family should realize that the sin of driving their parents away from home will never be pardoned by God and one day the Karma will boomerang on them.
Blessed are the parents whose children take proper care of their old parents till their demise, do not hurt them, and serve them well. Let their number grow leaps and bounds in the future and may God bless them with all the happiness.
#769869
While I do not totally contest the observations and opinion by the author in this thread, frankly, I am not that pessimistic. I think the main point behind is the gap in understanding the changing dynamics of life, lifestyle, its opportunities and challenges.
The so-called present senior citizen were also youths when their parents and grandparents were then senior citizen. Ironically this kind of pessimism and cynicism is spread only by the middle class salaried elders and retirees. I have yet to meet an agriculturist senior citizen or a daily labourer complaining anything like this. On the contrary they are happy that their children are well educated and having good occupation and income and even abroad and they feel proud of it. Their only complaint is the new generation(not just their children) are not coming to agriculture. That also they blame on the system and government not keeping agriculture a profitable venture.
Keeping hands on our chest let us review our on career time lives. How many of us were residing with or at least near our parents ? We may say some valid reason for that. Many of us got condoned because there was one sibling or some uncle or aunt near and ready to be at call and serve our parents. Had there not been a sibling, or close relative or a loyal old time maid or servant at our native house, try to answer what we would have done with our old parents?
Now the difference is that most families have only one or two children. There are no such maids or servants serving one family for life. Hence the matter appears grave.
The irony is that most of us have provisions for post-retirement financial support-either statutory or consciously and voluntarily provided. Parents of most of the current senior citizen did not have that.
The job and career opportunities locally are not there now commensurate with the demand. Hence the migration happens. However unlike the earlier snail mail, now communication and conveyance have become fast, even instantaneous. In my early days of career, the communication was by postal mail. A letter sent from my place to my parents reached them only after five or six days. But now parents and children can(if needed and interested) contact any time on video call, conference call etc. So the (earlier time) loneliness will not be felt now with such facilities. I know many families where they are voice calling, Video calling or text chatting many times in a day. They exchange about everything via Facebook ,WhatsApp etc.
Present day senior citizens have brought themselves this fate because they had resorted to avoidable ego and indulging in aloofness taking pride in the overseas education or overseas career and high financial status of their children. Thus many relationships are lost and family get together occasions have been reduced and even those few, conducted in rented halls and hotels. Thus each one had kept themselves to their own private islands or caves. It is only when their health and /or wealth reduces people suddenly become aware.
The current senior parents are to take blame because in the name of freedom, individuality and modernity, they encouraged and showed extra pride in putting their small children in hostels and sending them to far away places and overseas for higher education. The umbilical relationship naturally got cut. instead of sitting by the side of their small children during study, sickness and leisure many parents(especially both working) placed toys and puppies in their place. Naturally their 'Karma' will be coming back.
In spite of valid and justifiable and empathetic reasons to do otherwise, many children are sill taking care of their elder parents either directly or indirectly (through old age home, senior citizen townships etc.)
At least discussions like this make todays young parents to have a god family life and instill the spirit of familial relationship and belonging in their children. That will help in the long run.
So no need to complain and lament. Let our expectations also change according to the changing life term dictates..
The so-called present senior citizen were also youths when their parents and grandparents were then senior citizen. Ironically this kind of pessimism and cynicism is spread only by the middle class salaried elders and retirees. I have yet to meet an agriculturist senior citizen or a daily labourer complaining anything like this. On the contrary they are happy that their children are well educated and having good occupation and income and even abroad and they feel proud of it. Their only complaint is the new generation(not just their children) are not coming to agriculture. That also they blame on the system and government not keeping agriculture a profitable venture.
Keeping hands on our chest let us review our on career time lives. How many of us were residing with or at least near our parents ? We may say some valid reason for that. Many of us got condoned because there was one sibling or some uncle or aunt near and ready to be at call and serve our parents. Had there not been a sibling, or close relative or a loyal old time maid or servant at our native house, try to answer what we would have done with our old parents?
Now the difference is that most families have only one or two children. There are no such maids or servants serving one family for life. Hence the matter appears grave.
The irony is that most of us have provisions for post-retirement financial support-either statutory or consciously and voluntarily provided. Parents of most of the current senior citizen did not have that.
The job and career opportunities locally are not there now commensurate with the demand. Hence the migration happens. However unlike the earlier snail mail, now communication and conveyance have become fast, even instantaneous. In my early days of career, the communication was by postal mail. A letter sent from my place to my parents reached them only after five or six days. But now parents and children can(if needed and interested) contact any time on video call, conference call etc. So the (earlier time) loneliness will not be felt now with such facilities. I know many families where they are voice calling, Video calling or text chatting many times in a day. They exchange about everything via Facebook ,WhatsApp etc.
Present day senior citizens have brought themselves this fate because they had resorted to avoidable ego and indulging in aloofness taking pride in the overseas education or overseas career and high financial status of their children. Thus many relationships are lost and family get together occasions have been reduced and even those few, conducted in rented halls and hotels. Thus each one had kept themselves to their own private islands or caves. It is only when their health and /or wealth reduces people suddenly become aware.
The current senior parents are to take blame because in the name of freedom, individuality and modernity, they encouraged and showed extra pride in putting their small children in hostels and sending them to far away places and overseas for higher education. The umbilical relationship naturally got cut. instead of sitting by the side of their small children during study, sickness and leisure many parents(especially both working) placed toys and puppies in their place. Naturally their 'Karma' will be coming back.
In spite of valid and justifiable and empathetic reasons to do otherwise, many children are sill taking care of their elder parents either directly or indirectly (through old age home, senior citizen townships etc.)
At least discussions like this make todays young parents to have a god family life and instill the spirit of familial relationship and belonging in their children. That will help in the long run.
So no need to complain and lament. Let our expectations also change according to the changing life term dictates..
#769878
| Points: | 5 |
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Venkiteswaran sir, your point is valid and has been noted. I agree that there has been a change in our lifestyles and requirements and so there is no point in comparing the older generation with the new ones. The elderly need to understand the situation and adjust themselves so that they don't feel left out.
But the crux of the issue that is sought to be discussed in this thread is, I think, the missing emotional bond that the present generation generally have towards their parents. I don't think any parent would ask his ward to stay at home and look after them at the cost of his own life. No parent will complain that their wards are more concerned about securing their lives.
But, which parent will not expect their son or daughter to show some care and concern for them? They may not (need not) expect them to stay with them or to take them to their place of work, but would it be wrong if they expect a phone call or a message, if not daily, at least three or four times in a month, inquiring about their well-being and asking whether they need anything? Would it be wrong to expect their ward to either accompany them or to make some arrangements for them to visit a doctor when they are unwell? Wouldn't they feel happy if their ward rings up their neighbor occasionally and asks them whether everything is fine with their parents? I am sure that such minor gestures will keep the parents more than happy.
So, more than the physical presence or support that may not be practically possible all the time, I think it is the emotional support and the surety they provide, by keeping in constant touch, that they will be around at the time of need that is more important.
Abandoning parents at distant places or in trains or buses, throwing them out of the house, abusing and torturing them mentally and physically, harassing them, locking them up etc are acts that cannot be justified in any way. There may be different reasons and such sick-minded wards may try to justify their stand but that will not absolve them of the crime (yes, I call it a crime) they are committing. I am of the opinion that if you cannot look after or support your aged parents and if they are not in a condition to look after themselves, shifting them to good old-age homes or some palliative care NGO units would always be a better option. Don't throw them away to the dogs. They are after all your parents.
'Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all'.
-Aristotle
But the crux of the issue that is sought to be discussed in this thread is, I think, the missing emotional bond that the present generation generally have towards their parents. I don't think any parent would ask his ward to stay at home and look after them at the cost of his own life. No parent will complain that their wards are more concerned about securing their lives.
But, which parent will not expect their son or daughter to show some care and concern for them? They may not (need not) expect them to stay with them or to take them to their place of work, but would it be wrong if they expect a phone call or a message, if not daily, at least three or four times in a month, inquiring about their well-being and asking whether they need anything? Would it be wrong to expect their ward to either accompany them or to make some arrangements for them to visit a doctor when they are unwell? Wouldn't they feel happy if their ward rings up their neighbor occasionally and asks them whether everything is fine with their parents? I am sure that such minor gestures will keep the parents more than happy.
So, more than the physical presence or support that may not be practically possible all the time, I think it is the emotional support and the surety they provide, by keeping in constant touch, that they will be around at the time of need that is more important.
Abandoning parents at distant places or in trains or buses, throwing them out of the house, abusing and torturing them mentally and physically, harassing them, locking them up etc are acts that cannot be justified in any way. There may be different reasons and such sick-minded wards may try to justify their stand but that will not absolve them of the crime (yes, I call it a crime) they are committing. I am of the opinion that if you cannot look after or support your aged parents and if they are not in a condition to look after themselves, shifting them to good old-age homes or some palliative care NGO units would always be a better option. Don't throw them away to the dogs. They are after all your parents.
'Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all'.
-Aristotle
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