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  • Category: Miscellaneous
    Points:5

    I feel sorry for the help I extended

    We will be meeting many people in our life. Sometimes when we see some people who are in difficulties we feel sorry and tend to help them to the maximum extent possible.

    Yesterday a person came to my house. He appeared very innocent. He told that he is very poor. His daughter's marriage is fixed and he is requesting financial help. He has shown me the invitation card also. My wife also thought he is very genuine and I gave Rs 500/- to him. In the evening when I and my wife were going out, we saw that man near the wine shop and he was in a fully drunken condition. My wife recognised him and showed me. Then we both felt bad that we have helped the wrong man.

    There is a saying in Telugu that one should not help a person who never deserves it. But sometimes it happens. I feel sorry for the help I extended to that undeserving person. What are the views of members of ISC on helping the people who never deserve it?
  • #770527

    Points:4
    Good human beings get carried away by poor people who stretch their hands for financial help and offer them money without even thinking twice. Some people who are lazy and addicted take the easy way of cheating gullible people. Because of such dishonest cheats, people who deserve help do not get it as we become alert when we would have become a victim to such people.
    I would also like to add that twice at the railway station, I was asked for money by a decent-looking person saying that he had lost his wallet and bag and had no money even to buy a ticket to go back home. As I could make out very clearly that he was lying, I just walked away without helping him.

  • #770535

    Points:5
    It feels me like you are some of the real doctors of your esteemed fraternity. It's unfortunate that the person you helped turned out to be undeserving and misused the help you provided. However, it's important to remember that this is not a reflection on you and your good intentions to help others. It's always a good practice to exercise caution and verify the authenticity of the person's situation before offering any financial assistance. One should also avoid giving cash directly and instead donate to verified charities or organizations that help people in need. It's a learning experience, and we can take this as a lesson to be more careful and discerning when helping others in the future.



    "Compassion and kindness towards oneself and others is a fundamental ingredient to a happy and fulfilling life." - Dalai Lama
    "Unlock the treasure trove of knowledge's delight,
    Discover the world with wondrous insight."

  • #770549

    Points:4
    As far as I think you have done on the basis of your inherent faith in the people and may be you have inherited it from your family values. We never to go to verify the ground reality underneath it. But we have natural desires to help out any person in distress and guided by your beliefs about his deplorable situation, you paid an amount. By chance, you noticed the man in wine shop. If you could escape from such an unpleasant situation, guilty feeling hovering in your mind would not have developed. May be this is one of stray incidents but not necessarily, you will be erring in the next time when you donate.
    You are really great possessing humane values.

  • #770552

    Points:5
    This is a case when our faith in helping others is shattered. The moral of the story is that we should never help a person by blindly giving him money or material. We must ascertain as how he is going to utilise that help. The best course of action is that if someone is asking for help then we should ask him to do work either in our house or garden or common area or in the premises of some other family which require some household or other work to be done in their houses. Once he completes the work then we should give him proper remuneration.
    If that person is not capable of doing any work because of his physical condition or some underline ailment then only we should think of helping him blindly without bothering as what he is going to do with that money. Alternatively, we can give him some food and water and not given him any money. He should realise that there is no free lunch available in this world anywhere. He will have to work to get that or he would simply beg because of his physical conditions.
    Knowledge is power.

  • #770573

    Points:5
    The author is right. In Tamil there is a saying,'pathiram arinthu pichai idu' ,means give anything by seeing the fitness. There is no mistake in the author's side as he believed the invitation. Last month I was at a bus stop on the way to my house to catch another bus. A man came there with a small child in is shoulder and a lady was by his side. He showed me an Identity card with Government symbol and told me that he was working in some government office in Avadi, an outskirt of Chennai and as he lost his purse and bag, he could not go back home, they have not eaten lunch also and so he asked my help. I believed their telling and gave two hundred rupees so as they can have some tiffin and go home. On the next day I went to some other place with my brother and when standing in a bus stop saw the same person was asking help from somebody. Before telling this to my brother and move towards him, by seeing us, he move fast towards other side. On saying my brother, we kept silent and moved away. Since then we some what alert in such money matters.

  • #770625

    Points:5
    There is no need for you to keep worrying over the incident.
    It is only when we act that we commit errors and mistakes. Simply sitting inactive one can boast of having committed no mistakes. But mistakes are actually learning and tuning point prompts.
    Usually our elders always prefer to give food to the hungry rather than giving money to them.
    Nowadays even begging has ben converted to big business and some enterprising people have employed people to beg and earn. The agent/boss here earns a lo and gives the 'field beggars' some wages or percentage of the earning by them.
    Many such kinds of misuse of human kindness and goodness have gradually tuned even kindhearted people to be passive and evasive. That is after all no good to the human society. But human society has always suffered from someone's greed and selfishness.
    Still we need not be stone-minded, but can be soft but take calculated and bearable risks in our good deeds, by being philosophical as Bhagavat Gita teaches' Karmanyeva adhikaarasthe...". Let us do our good part without expecting anything and without being judgmental.

  • #770631

    Points:1
    "' Karmanyeva adhikaarasthe...". Let us do our good part without expecting anything and without being judgmental." I agree with you Venkiteswaran. Whatever happened has happened. I am not worried much about that. But I want to bring it to the notice of all ISCans so that they may also get a point out of this incident.
    drrao
    always confident

  • #770673

    Points:2
    It happens that such betrayal and breaking of faith often make kind and soft hearts hardened. And often because od our previous experiences we often don't help people who really need help. I believe because of such things we should not generalize people and harden our hearts we should try to help as much people as possible but avoid blind trust as well.
    "It is hardest thing in the world to be good thinker without being a good self examiner"


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