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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Isn't it better to live in Nuclear family than a dysfunctional joint family

    Although joint family as a concept is slowly becoming obsolete, it has not lost its relevance completely. In suburban areas and in rural areas, most of the families are still joint families. The nuclear family though quite common, is still more common in urban spaces only. I personally have always been a part of a nuclear family and thus find it better but I tried to understand joint family through observation. And as far as I can see, most such families are often forced to live together under the same roof due to some situations like financial or strict patriarchs. It is a rare case that a joint family lives happily at their own will. The worst case, even in joint families, is the ones that are completely dysfunctional, where fighting, shouting, crying, and noises are so common that it becomes very normal. The elder members of such dysfunctional families don't even think about the impact their daily bickering has on the youngest members. Such an environment is very toxic. I often see elderly people defending joint families at any cost and don't want to point out the flaws they only emphasise the aspect of loneliness, lack of elders (grandparents)knowledge and family values in nuclear families but that is not always the case because nuclear families still operate better than dysfunctional joint families with proper values and education. Please share your thoughts on the topic based on real experience and don't make this post a ground of fighting for moral and cultural values because there is a huge difference between what is preached and what actually happens in the society.
  • #773884
    The author is correct. Many people do have different mentalities nowadays. In a same family the ego plays very well. The difference in practices leads to misunderstanding as the senior person in the family or even husband indicates or asks to correct according to their follow up, the problem simply arises. Even in some families the husband starts adjusting the wife side practices and he simply support his wife with other family members and this leads to chaos in the family and the need of nuclear family arises. But the real understanding of main purpose of Joint family system should be followed by each and every person of the family. In many houses the income differentiation stresses the need of joint family system as the collective income shared for all expenses and harmony scene is getting created in the house.
    Recently I have seen in a family wherein a couple lives with second son and their first son working in foreign country sending money for the living of parents and younger brother. Younger brother is also working but with lesser income. Once the second son got married, the wife of him after a year of living started twisting her husband why should he depends on the money of the elder brother and her continuous twisting made him to move for nuclear family and the aged parents abandoned. Now as his income is less, the wife also started to go for job and as usual the sharing of work creates quarrel among them.

  • #773886
    In some joint families there might be conflicts and fights but we cannot generalise that. Many joint families are plying satisfactorily and feel proud about it.
    In those cases where people cannot live in joint families the only solution is to separate. But with that they lose the help and support from each other which is so common in joint family.
    So there are pros and cons of both and depending upon one's mindset one has to decide whether to live in a joint family or nuclear family.

    Knowledge is power.

  • #773890
    When there are two persons, differences of opinion will bound to happen. Even in nuclear families where only the wife, husband and their two unmarried children live together also, there are chances for differences of opinion. What the wife says may not be liked by the husband. So some adjustment is required whether in a nuclear family or in a joint family. The need for a joint family will be understood only when we are in problems. So I am of the opinion that having differences of opinion and shouting at each other may not be called dysfunctional. How do we adjust with our children? How do we adjust with our wife/husband? In the same way, if we adjust with our parents, brothers and sisters we will enjoy the atmosphere of joint families.
    But if the gap is increasing and only we have to adjust but the other members are in no mood to adjust, it is better obviously to have a nuclear family.

    always confident

  • #773893

    Since you have returned after a gap (we're glad you did!) it would be good to stay updated about the shift in policies by going through all the red-pinned threads at the top of the forum that you seem to have missed out on. Editor Sankalan too had earlier brought to your attention that the focus of forum discussions should ideally be on topics related to education. Once in a while, we may permit some other topics, but these should be restricted. Do join the SocialVillage site, which is now operational under the able leadership of Dr. Apurva, and participate in discussions there and contribute to the Knowledge Centre there as well, where all topics are permitted.

    When you make a commitment, you create hope. When you keep a commitment you create trust! ~ John C. Maxwell

  • #773902
    If the author means a nuclear family consisting of a husband, a wife and their children up to two, such a family would have better appreciation in terms of their thinking and there is less chance of friction among the members. I don't say that the differences between the couples would not arise. Yes, there are chances for friction but it can be managed with their understandings and love.
    The same thing does not hold good for the giant families having many members. There are remote chances of patching up their differences due the large size of the family. Even on the economical fronts, issues are like to surface having no chances of retrieval of such issues.

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