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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    How strict must be parents to their kids?

    My question is not as simple as you think. It involves an element of psychology. Parents do expect their children to be obedient, respectful, responsible, well-behaved etc. But what we, as parents, need to understand is that all the kids are different. Their attitude, behavioral patterns, patience etc. do matter a lot. One should study their kids properly and maneuver them accordingly. Just like it is that you cannot drive a four-wheeler with the same ease as you drive a two-wheeler, you may not be able to manage every child similarly.

    There is no doubt that parents should be strict but to what extent and how is a very important point that should be borne in mind. Family background, daily life situations at home, inter-personal relations, and similar factors also play an important role in molding the attitude of a child. Being strict can have positive and negative effects. Parents must note and analyze the effects regularly and change their strategies according to the effects our strictness and enforcement have on a child. You must be strict, but it should neither be harsh nor forced.

    Can I have your views on this point based on life situations, mental abilities and attitudes of parents and children?
  • #776162
    In my opinion, handling kids as a parent involves psychology indeed. It is a matter of fact that kids are kids, and every kid is unique as the author mentioned. I would just like to rule out the word "strict" itself. What do you mean by the word "strict"? Is it demanding to be obedient to parents always? Never I suppose. Parents are the role models for their kids. If they follow a friendly attitude towards their children there won't be a rule of strict. They watch and behave as their parents do. Kids should be given the freedom to do what they like, however on certain terms and conditions. Let them do and learn lessons. If a parent says no to anything that the kid opts to do, the parent should explain passively why it is not supposed to be done. Not as a rule of obedience, I believe.

  • #776164
    Parenting is not an easy task. As Saji sir told every child is unique and we have to understand the child first and then we have to plan accordingly. In my opinion, strictness is not important for parenting. It is more important that we understand the child and try to explain the different things properly. It is also important that we should do the things which we are expecting from a child. A child does not do the things we say, he always does the things which we do. If we are respectful, kind, well behaved then the child will also follow these things.
    Honesty is the best policy.

  • #776165
    I do agree with the author that it is not that much easy to decide what extent that they should be strict and also to what area. I mean to say that the strictness to be imposed in their study hours with the regular emphasis on improving the same. The other considerations are to what extent, the parents allow their kids for free mixing with their colleagues showing the degree of nobleness or they should be strict enough not to discuss the family matters.
    The question put up by the author needs to examined thoroughly. It might be that kids have been instructed to stretch their study hours but to what extent these kids would remain under the surveillances of their parents. It might be that the kids have two sets of books - one to be followed when the parents appear inside the rooms all of sudden and once they exit from the rooms and they would revert back their style.
    There is always the chance of failure to the instruction if the kids themselves don't want to be serious about their assignments.

  • #776169
    Handling kids is not an easy job for the parents. If they pamper them then they will simply ruin them and on the other hand if they become too strict then there could be some psychological effects on the children.
    There was a time when the golden rule was to be strict with the children and not give any unnecessary sympathy or concern to them. But today the situation is drastically changed and parents have to apply a balanced method to control the children as well as motivate and encourage them for studies and help them in making a good career.
    As already mentioned in the post that every child is different and unique so he or she would require a control and treatment accordingly. Parents have to identify the likings and dislikings of the child and also his interest areas. Once that is done then they will have to provide necessary support and keep a close watch on them to see whether they are progressing in the correct direction or not.

    Knowledge is power.

  • #776176
    Every kid is unique. That is true. But the impact of the parents and grandparents will be high on a child. They learn from observing their parents and they try to behave similarly to their parents. So parents should behave in the way they want their children to behave.
    Parents should teach what is good and what is bad. We should tell them the dos and don'ts in their life. But simply telling is of no use. Parents should practice them and then expect kids to follow them. Without following, in the guise of strictness, parents should not shout and beat their children. Practice and preaching should be the norm.
    If parents are very strict with their children, they will become mischievous and in the absence of their parents, they do all mischief. So making them understand is very important. Parents should never make their children get frightened.

    drrao
    always confident


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