You must Sign In to post a response.
  • Category: Miscellaneous

    We cannot treat new-generation women in older ways!

    Today girls are doing well in their academic pursuits and undertaking various professional courses and getting good jobs and competing with the boys in every sphere. As these girls are earning and are financially independent they have their own lives and they spend their money as they wish. When they get married, many continue their jobs and that is the situation when the family members must understand the career aspirations of these young women as well as their new generation lifestyle. If these women do not get the proper behaviour and care in the house then there would be conflicts and misunderstandings leading to unhappy situations and even separation in some cases.
    The family members will have to share the household activities with these women which were earlier their sole responsibility. If not possible then hiring of the household help becomes mandatory.
    What are your experiences about this?
  • #779283
    Yes, this is an interesting post from the author's side. We have to accept the aspirations of the young generation and we have to co-operate with them so that they can put in their best efforts in their careers. Treating them as a common lady can be folly on our part.
    They are computer engineers, Chartered Accountants, Professors, Medical Specialists or holding other responsible posts. Depriving them of their jobs can lead to tension for such educated ladies.
    In the past, ladies were submissive and they were fully dedicated to their families obeying the instructions of their husbands and senior - members of their families. They always thought of the welfare of the family with their involvement in family activities. With the change in the culture of society, our women are more ambitious in acquiring specialisations in different fields. Promoting their talents will lead to the prosperity of both the women and their families.

  • #779290
    Why only girls? Even boys of these days should be treated differently but not in older ways. Girls are getting educated and they are getting jobs and they are earning. Actually, in my opinion, even uneducated ladies and no job ladies should also be treated in a better way than they were treated in earlier days. A girl is working in the house and she is a homemaker. Can we treat her using older ways, If you ask me, my answer is "NO". Irrespective of the financial status of a boy or a girl, we should not ill-treat any person.
    But some modern girls I have seen. Even after becoming mothers of two children and even after getting full support from their husbands in all tasks, they will not be treating their husbands, the way their husbands treat them. How should we understand them?
    In my opinion, mutually one should understand the other person's behaviour in such a way that they complement each other. In such cases, their family will be a model family.

    drrao
    always confident

  • #779302
    Modern girls are ambitious and career concious. They are studying like boys in pursuit of a flying career. They are in no way less than the boys. Then how can we treat them in different ways?
    Our society is changing. Everywhere, modern concepts are being adopted. Joint families have become a matter of past. For financial stability husband and wife both are working. Their standard of living also is better and they are adopting to modern ways of life and spending a lot on modern gadgets and beauty and personality enhancement.
    The modern women will prefer to have servants for household work. She would also like to socialise and pass time in company of like minded people.
    So today's women cannot be treated in older ways. Many conflicts are arising in families because we expect a lot from women.

    Knowledge is power.

  • #779340
    Interesting responses are made by the members to this post and I want to mention that if we look the developments across the globe in this matter, we find that slowly women are taking up all those jobs which were earlier thought as the monopoly of men. In such a progressive scenario we will have to treat the women in better and equivalent ways.
    Seeing the progress of women in general and activities of various women's lib movements in particular, newer reservations for women folks are coming in force and equality of remuneration is also becoming a reality.
    I hope and wish that more progress and development will take place in this regard.

    Thoughts exchanged is knowledge gained.

  • #779352
    If each member in the family considers 'it is my/our family' in duties and rights equally, then there is no chance of ill treatment or feeling ill treated. This is applicable to both genders, the young and the old.
    The problems rise up only when there is a imbalance between rights and duties. When one is fully aware and mature enough to take up responsibilities and duties , and then expect for rights there will be no clash.

    Family members should know to earmark proper boundaries for family co-existence and enjoying individual freedom for each and all. Even though I am of old generation-born in the fifties and sixties- I was sharing the family chores without any reservations as myself and wife were both employed then. There was no demand and get, but an automatic understanding of the needs and essentialities and used to work as complement and supplement to each other.
    We should come out of the stereotyped hypes and terms used by the 'changers and influencers' including media , and live as down-to-Earth people with the common good of the family as a unit.

  • #779361
    The specification in the thread forced me to go back to the 'marumakkathayam' system that was prevalent in Kerala. The system was of matrilineal inheritance and the descent and inheritance of property was passed on from maternal uncles to nephews or nieces. The father had very less role to play and was mostly under the control of his wife's family. Why I brought up this point is just to emphasize that treatment of a lady or man was/ is always dependent on her/ his earning capacity. There may be exceptions, but it was and is generally so.

    I can point out so many cases where husbands are not treated well and reasons differ though it is mostly the financial aspect. So, it is not the question of gender. The question is of your physical, mental and financial capability that makes all the difference. Most of the women today are well educated. Most of them are either employed or they do something to be independent. So, they take up responsibilities which, as we say, was usually a male bastion. And so, all the members of the family will be expected to share the other chores which is a necessity rather than a burden.

    If one still expects his wife to wake him up with a cup of tea, I am sorry. The man may have to get up early and make tea or breakfast if his wife has to go to the office too. So, as Venkiteswaran sir has said, it is all about sharing responsibilities and treading on a path of mutual understanding so as to have and enjoy a happy and contented family life.

    'Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all'.
    -Aristotle

  • #779428
    I also agree that ultimately it is the mutual understanding and support of all the family members that runs a family in a smooth manner. However, the modern trend is towards hiring of servants for housework and then be relieved from the main household work.
    In old system, when women managed the household work and men went out for earning, there was no need of servants. But as soon as women also started doing job then in most of the families the need was felt to hire servants.
    If I am not mistaken most of the men prefer to deploy servants for housework rather than sharing the household duties. There is nothing wrong in it because if one can afford the servants, one would employ them.

    Thoughts exchanged is knowledge gained.

  • #779440
    I read in a magazine that the husband gave some work by saying that she is in the house only by not going for any job. Son gave some work to her by saying that she is the house free only after every body went to the office/ school/ college. Daughter gave some work by saying that she is in the house only. But by saying her that she have no work after their leaving they give more work comparing to their own work in the office/college/school. By seeing this her old aged mother in law felt bad. She suggested a simple idea. Accordingly by next Sunday the mother delayed herself to get up from the bed. Husband, son and daughter got up from the bed and sought for coffee. Mother in law told that she is not well so that they can prepare their coffee by themselves. A small chaos gone between the three and similar situation went for breakfast, lunch etc., Though they have ordered online, they noticed that the total house is blank without the mother. Then only they realized her importance and since then they participate in the household works by caring their own needs by not loading on mother. That lady thanks the Mother in Law.
    But in some house, especially I am seeing in a neighbor house of mine, the house head placed three servant maid for cleaning the house, vessels and cloth separately. Though the house head lady is not going for any job but we see that she is just sitting before television daily after the house persons left for job. Similar also not good.


  • Sign In to post your comments