Living in old age homes is not a bad choice if it is an option and not compulsion. In this age of nuclear families, where children fly off to different places to make a career and to settle down on their own, we get to see so many elderly people who have no choice but to stay alone. There are options like keeping a maid servant or home nurse, renting out a part of the house or allowing paying guests etc. but security remains a main concern in these cases. So, if parents are not healthy enough and have medical issues, and importantly, if there is no one else in the family to take care of them, staying at an old age home would appear to be a better choice.
We have different types of old age homes of which some are maintained by governments and some by NGOs/ private parties. There are homes that are absolutely free and there are paid ones too.
I would say that selecting an appropriate home is similar to selecting a school for your child. We will have to consider many factors and interact with the administration, inmates and the local people and also people who are directly or indirectly associated with the functioning of such homes before taking a decision. We should check whether it is registered under the government as per rules, whether regular checks are carried out by government authorities, whether such homes are open to NGOs and whether free interaction with inmates are allowed, the atmosphere, facilities, quality of the staff and their attitude and behavior, the quality of the inmates, medical facilities, personal care accorded etc. before selecting a home to stay. Though the atmosphere and the individual attention being given cannot be, in all cases, said to be relative to the amount one spends, it would be good to select one after a proper study. There are many more factors that needs to be considered and I have listed only a few.
We have heard about atrocities of different natures being committed against the inmates by the caretakers of such homes in many places and we need to be careful. Proper monitoring by government agencies must be made mandatory. It would be good to constitute a committee with prominent members from different walks of life to check and control such homes, whether government or private.
To conclude, family will always be family. Every one of us would like to live in the cozy comfort of our homes in the company of our family members. Elderly people are just like young kids. They yearn for love, care and attention. But the vagaries of life are such that we have few choices at times. And that is where old age homes come into the picture. Instead of staying at home alone, staying at an old age home would ensure some company and also security.
Children must make it a point to keep in touch with their parent/ parents and must visit them at regularly. If they are not in a position to visit at regular intervals, they must arrange meetings with some of their relatives or friends. Most of the elderly people would never stand in the way of their children settling down but they should not feel that they have been isolated. Let them know, in whatever ways you can, that you care. We all will become old and fragile one day and let us not wait for that moment to realize the importance of parents and parenting. Love them and hold them close to your heart. They will be satisfied even if they have some difficulties.
(The length of the response may kindly be excused.)
'Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all'.
-Aristotle
