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  • Category: Miscellaneous
    Points:5

    Every girl is entitled for a cordial atmosphere after marriage

    As per our traditions and culture, after marriage the girl goes to the house of the boy and starts living there. For the girl it is a beginning of a new journey. As the girl is coming from a different family it is obvious that she would have a changed environment and she only has to accommodate and adjust with it. If the environment is good and supportive then the girl would be happy and will start believing that her new house is that place only. But if the atmosphere is not good and not cordial then she would be in trouble and will not be liking to stay in that condition.
    This situation is the start of the conflicts and confrontations in the family and in many cases the newly wed couple separate out and live in a separate house.
    Is it not possible for the family members to accept and receive the girl in a cordial way and give her a feeling that it is her house? If they behave in that fashion then the girl would also respect them and reciprocate positively. What are your thoughts on this? Please share your experiences.
  • #780766

    Points:5
    It is a fact that a woman has to live in the house of her husband after marriage. They have to raise a family and accommodate and co-operate for that purpose.
    From the perspective of families in our country, traditionally, we had a model of joint family where people co-existed happily under the overall control of the family head. Unfortunately, that system is breaking fast and the norm of nuclear family is dominating the scene.
    Marriage is a two way affair where two families come under a relationship. It is imperative that both sides have to be cordial for creating good relations and a girl can only be happy in her new place if both sides have mutual respect as well as feel responsible for their part. If the boy's parents are treating the girl lovingly and take care of her interests then girl should also reciprocate and must act to show her worth and take responsibilities. Affection and love from only one side does not last long.
    So, in my view until there is a full cooperation from both the sides and understand and execute their responsibilities we cannot achieve harmony.
    Knowledge is power.

  • #780768

    Points:2
    Every girl, for that matter every boy is entitled to a cordial atmosphere after marriage. These days unlike in the past, joint families are very few. The boy or the girl starts living on their own after the marriage. Both of them need to create a cordial atmosphere for themselves so that they can live peacefully.
    " Be Good and Do Good "

  • #780770

    Points:5
    A family can't live happily if members have egoistic behaviour. The tradition of ill treatment of daughter-in-laws has been going on from ancient times and every women is just passing it on to the next. They think if they have received it, then their daughter-in-law also must get such treatment. Once women start treating a women with dignity, such things will stop and family will be happier. Men don't have any say in these matters because they are usually busy earning for their family. It is the saas bahu serials that have created a bad impact on our families. Everyone is busy proving themselves right and in the process the family get broken, that's why divorces have become a common thing nowadays. Even in nuclear families where there is no one except husband-wife people are unable to adjust. Ego takes control and everyone is just busy doing whatever they feel is in their interest. Family hierarchy that used to exist is now non-existent and everyone is a boss in the family. People should look at any organization and company where hierarchy is the most important aspect to keep everything running smoothly. People don't understand until they are destroyed.
    Humble yourself or life will do it for you!

  • #780773

    Points:2
    KVRR #780768, yes I agree that both the partners have the responsibility for creating a good atmosphere. Girl as well as the boy should feel comfortable in the new situation.
    Thoughts exchanged is knowledge gained.

  • #780776

    Points:5
    Ajay Gupta has mentioned that the perennial fight between Saas and Bahu is the main reason for the conflicting atmosphere in the house. To some extent for some joint families it is true but in some families they live happily also. So, we cannot generalize it.
    In the nuclear families Saas is not there but still the atmosphere may not be good. Then who is responsible for that?
    In my understanding the young people today are having high expectations from their partners and before the marriage that is during the courtship time it also looks happening like that. But after marriage and the honeymoon period the realities of lives stand in front of the couple and they start finding the faults of each other. The main problem is avoiding work and responsibilities and expect other partner to do it. In such a situation how can we have a cordial atmosphere.
    Knowledge is power.

  • #780777

      

    Points:2
    With due apologies for being gender specific, aren't boys too equally entitled? Do consider men who live at the mercy of women. Just give it a thought!

    I think it is all about one who earns. Nothing more, nothing less.
    'Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all'.
    -Aristotle

  • #780781

    Points:5
    I heard that married ladies suffered a lot in their in-laws' houses in the olden days. I have seen 4 generations in my house. My grandmother (My mother's mother), my mother, my wife and my daughters-in-law. None of them suffered in our house. Every woman enjoyed their stay in our house. My daughters-in-law prefer spending their holidays with us more than at their mother's place. I am not exaggerating, Please.
    It all depends on the family members. If they have an adjustable nature, nothing will go wrong. Another point is these days majority of daughter-in-law are staying with their in-laws. They are going separately due to employment or some other reason. So if a wife and husband have having good understanding, they will have pleasant times only. But I feel these days the majority of boys are very obedient to their wives and give them full freedom.
    drrao
    always confident

  • #780794

    Points:5
    In the olden days, there was a belief that conjugal life could be more blessing if marriage is settled once the birth chart of would-be husbands and wives is analysed properly considering the presence of different stars in their horoscope. However, such an analysis does not create a positive result always.
    Sharing emotions frankly between the pairs is the crucial factor for the maintenance of peace and love. Both should appreciate the situation and the issues are to be solved amicably so that a lasting relationship between the two develops. Being honest with each other is the essential prerequisite to making the home environment pleasant and for that, both pairs need to behave more prudently forgetting their egos.
    The rules are simple but it needs a serious thought to straighten the relationship.

  • #780925

    Points:5
    A straightforward reply to the thread is 'yes', and I am very loud and clear about it. There is no doubt about it. Still, I would say both sides: the bride and the groom must be open-hearted and give some time to understand and open up. This little time is required to strengthen a new relationship, but ill-treatment has no place in building a respectable bond.

    The groom's family must not forget that a bride comes to a new family, home and environment while the groom stays with his family and also in his biological home. Thus, the extra attention and love a bride deserves. I fail to understand why many new brides get cornered, and if so, then the husband must take care of all the issues very sincerely. It's his job because a girl comes to a new family holding her husband's hand, which makes her look up to him for every matter.
    shampasaid

  • #780947

      

    Points:5
    A cordial atmosphere is essential for any relationship to flourish. Be it at home or your workplace, if the relationship with your colleagues or the boss is not pleasant you can understand the situation. The same thing applies to marriage. It all depends on the nature of the persons involved. Most of us are experts in finding the faults in others rather than taking the initiative to correct them. Every person is unique and has a different thought process. Now when these two persons are in a relationship, there must be a good understanding with mutual respect. When such understanding and mutual respect are not there, conflicts start. Saji sir has pointed out an important aspect and that is money. Earning members have a special status in some families. In many cases, it is assumed that the sayings of the earning member of the family are the most important and others must follow them. If it is not followed then one may have to hear a lot of utterances from the earning member. Although there is a change in this mindset, it will take some more time to completely alter the situation.

    I would say that each one in a family is entitled to a cordial relationship and for that, everyone has the equal responsibility to make the environment cordial.
    Sankalan

    "Life is easier when you enjoy what you do"

  • #781032

    Points:5
    The author is perfect in telling that a newly married girl should accommodate with the atmosphere of the boy's house. Many girls do not understand the background of the adjustment and start quarreling or polluting the climate. But not only girls but men also should understand this point. He should also treat his in-laws equally with the persons of his own family.
    We can see the differential climate in a company or organization we join newly and if we join fresh we cannot the differential climate but if we shift from one employment to another the climate of the new company/organization cannot be same. We are forced to accommodate and similar to that a girl should accommodate. After gaining experience in that organization/company we start to advise other new entrants as a leader. Similar to that the girl should keep in her mind that if we understand the climate of her boy's house, on one fine day she become head of that family or even unforgettable person in that family by all family members.
    If she accommodate initially she can have many chances of correcting them also if they are wrong but she should never inculcate her family practices into the boy's house on any situation.
    My wife left this world now but she kept a good cordial name in our entire relatives' circle and her name is remembered by every one for her love and affection over our family during her 27 years of life in our family.


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