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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    I stout you stout, who will carry the dirt out!

    In a family or a group sometimes work suffers because everyone feels that it is beyond one's dignity to take up that particular work and everyone is waiting for other to take up it. This is really a difficult situation as ego and pride of the people come in the way.
    Have you encountered or experienced such a situation in your life? How do you cope with it? Do you remain rigid and wait for other person to work or you just give up and try to make an example by taking up that work and end the strange situation? Please share your views.
  • #781328
    In a family, such a situation should not come. If that comes it will be a nightmare only. Personal egos should not come in the way of relationships. Their age and relation should be respected. A person who is an IAS officer also should respect his father and leader brother. He should not feel that he is a big officer. In our family so far such a situation never came. My father's brother used to visit my father every day to see him. The only consideration he was having was my father was his elder brother. He never thought about why I should go daily. One day I went and let him come the other day. In such conditions, only relations flourish.
    In society and our workplaces egos come into the picture. In our work life, we have to discharge our duties very elegantly. Then only we can sustain. Job profiles will be clear. If anybody has to deviate from the nature of duties, he should first explain why. But I have seen many officers who are very self-centred and survived. It all depends on the nature of the top person in the organisation and the culture of the organisation.
    I have never been involved in such situations either in office or with family.

    drrao
    always confident

  • #781338
    Neeru,
    Do you mean shout and not stout?

    When you make a commitment, you create hope. When you keep a commitment you create trust! ~ John C. Maxwell

  • #781348
    Vandana, it is stout only. I read this phrase/saying somewhere and tried to explore the meaning of stout in dictionary. What I could gather was that stout means strong or fat or opulent but in this saying it is used as egoistic or having false pride. I do not know how much correct my interpretation is.
    Thoughts exchanged is knowledge gained.

  • #781362
    It is a common problem everywhere and people usually work only when others are working. If someone is sitting then others will also do the same. There are some people who are workaholic and they usually work continuously even if someone is not pressuring them. In family or an organisation workaholic person will always work and he/she will always want others also to work. When people start expecting others to behave in the same manner, problem arises because every person has different way to work.
    Thanks and regards.

  • #781363
    If we want to maintain a cordial relationship with our close relationships and friends, it will not be difficult unless we are aware of the flexibility of behaviour. A little bit of courtesy and tendering due respect to the individuals is the best way of normalization of relationship.
    If our own relatives have a false sense of pride, however hard we might try for the normalization of the relationship, it would be a futile effort.
    We need to take a lot of lessons from our respected personalities like Dr. Radhakrisnan & Our late president Rajendra Prasad who were exceptionally intelligent but devoid of egoistic attitude. They gained love and support from a different cross-section of people because of their humility.

  • #781397
    People these days have a short-sighted view and don't work like a team. Each individual behaves in a different manner and people usually don't gel together properly. When there is a communication gap such situations are blown out of proportion and people start fighting among themselves. It is important to keep the tone of voice down when dealing with such situations. If someone is not willing to change, you can't force him/her to change. Only time and experience can change the attitude of such person.
    Humble yourself or life will do it for you!

  • #781460
    In our childhood, we were in joint family system, used to dine collectively. My mother one day told that whoever finishing eating lastly should clear the eating place clean and remove all the vessels to sink. We everybody rushed to eat as not to stay last to avoid the work told. But our last cousin sister, too young in age and slow eater got stuck. My mother with laugh remove her condition and ask the last cousin sister to eat slowly. Though this was jovial and playful among us my grand father advised us not to avoid working in any situation and not to unshoulder our work on others on any situation. This advise strongly formed in us and we still following in our service also.

  • #781496
    Stout does mean strong or determined but it indicates a positive trait and hence I doubt whether the author has used the word correctly in the title. I have opted to discuss the point raised by Vandana ma'am instead of rewording the title so as to bring in clarity.

    The point that has been brought up for discussion has a negative connotation and is trying to explain the egoistic tendencies of people. It is a situation where people create a boundary around the list of works that they are supposed to do and are reluctant to do anything else despite the negative impacts the pending works may create. For example, the waste in your dustbin in the office is filled up and your cleaning staff is absent. A person who is bothered about cleanliness or the atmosphere of his office will, without any inhibition, clear the waste himself without waiting for the cleaning staff or asking one of his subordinates to do it for him. His civic sense does not allow him to be egoistic. The same goes with all sorts of pending jobs, at home or in your workplace or even your surroundings. There is nothing wrong in making the bed instead of thinking that it is not your job. So, basically, it is the attitude of clearing the backlogs or getting the work done that should be given priority over your ego. At the same time, one should be cautious enough to keep your position and should not let others take advantage of your nature.

    'Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all'.
    -Aristotle


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