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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Friends turn foe after getting benefits from us

    Life is very strange. Ironical too.
    We feel things are in our control. Not at all. Even some seemingly simple and good deeds bring opposite results. Quite against the natural formulae for good behaviour and good living.
    I am sure many of you would have similar experiences and so may agree with me.

    It is natural human feeling of compassion, empathy and/or sympathy t help some one in distress. Especially when they are our friends or relatives. But ironically many such people simply turn our adversaries since then. They may even go to the extent of spreading wrong gossip about us and even malice. Many vulnerable people may fall victims to such malicious gossip because the gossipers were our friends or relatives earlier.

    Once we sourced some funds for a particular purpose. But the next morning we received a distress phone call from a relative long distance. They need urgent money for remitting to college for their son. Next day was last date and they called us because they tried ,but could not get the amount from anyone else, we are the last resort. As it was for the study and future of a teenager , we did not think twice,; sent the needed money to them by the fastest means. They profusely thanked us and promised to return as early as possible. That was the last time we heard from them. It is now more than fifteen years. The mother (who requested the amount) is no more, the boy (we knew from other sources has married and is not keeping touch with any relatives), Till date we did not ask for he return of money and they also never talked to us. But we came to know in between that they were telling others about how we did not help them even when we were ding well. Somehow we kept quiet and never bothered to explain to anyone, because people knew us well.

    In another incident, I had to put my opinion and exercise my choice which was against the wish of someone was co-working with for a social cause in a community association. Though I used to support and stand with him in almost all matters, I could not agree to this particular matter as I could foresee certain future problems. So I differed and convinced others too. This infuriated that particular person and I was surprised that he even threw tantrums and shouting and fretting. But I kept my cool and firm. He stopped talking to me for a few days.
    But due to common necessity and with other balanced persons around, he had to come back and I behaved as if nothing happened. But I am sure he keeps it still in his mind as a defeat and ego problem.

    So even a friend or relative of long time can also turn to be an enemy even when we do some favour or when we try to stand on our own.
    I would like to se views of the members and their experiences in this regard.
  • #781403
    A thought provoking post by the author. Yes, the world is full of selfish people. Whether they are friends or relatives, some of them will take advantage and benefits of all kinds from us but when the time comes for reciprocation or paying those debs they just become indifferent and do not contact or communicate with us disconnecting forever.
    There are very few people who reciprocate and exchange all sort of pleasantries with us. Such people are the true friends and relatives.

    Thoughts exchanged is knowledge gained.

  • #781411
    We cannot be sure of the consistency of the behaviour of our friends. Though the relationship with the friends might be for a long time and everything thing was going smoothly, the relationship might terminate due to a reminder of payment of money they have taken from us due to the emergency condition of his wife admitted to a hospital due to heart ailments.
    Before we offered the money, there was no problem in our relationship. We maintained an excellent relationship taking part in every activity in our friend's house and they, too, maintained such a gesture.
    It was a great setback for them when I demanded Rs 80,000/- paid to my friend as a loan. The ultimate result was that I lost both the money and the relationship formulated over the years.

  • #781413
    Money is one of the major cause of feuds among family and friends. People should never lend huge amount of money to any friends or relatives because there is a great chance of not getting that money back. What I have seen from my personal experience relatives don't like to give back the money once they get it. If you ask them for it they will make excuse and avoid any further contact with you. People are very clever these days and they don't care about anything but money. Once they get their hands on other's money, their crooked mentality starts developing.
    Humble yourself or life will do it for you!

  • #781416
    That is very true. I also have experiences similar to what the author mentioned. A person was working with me as my driver. He requested me to recommend his case for a bank loan and I did it. The bank gave him a loan and he purchased a cab and I got a new driver. One day he came and asked me for a loan to repay his bank loan as the bank seized the car. Out of sympathy, I gave him and he claimed back the car. But he never repaid the amount. If I try to talk to him over the phone he is not responding to my call.
    In another incident, another driver asked me for a loan as he was constructing a house. I paid the same. He used to pay every month regularly. But for the last two instalments, he never paid but never responded to my phone call. The only good thing is that neither of them ever talked badly about me. After these two incidents, I stopped showing mercy towards others even though they were financially weak.

    drrao
    always confident

  • #781454
    No real friend turn foe on any occasion. This may be construed only because of other's twisted words or our mal observations. We have read in stories of kings. One king has a great good friend. He heard one day the speaking of two birds on a tree branch that the queen would die on that night through a snake bite. Further one bird told another if any body leaks out this news to others he become stone. So this friend carefully waited at the entrance of the bedroom of the queen and when he saw the snake he immediately cut off the snake. But the king noticed this through the noise misunderstood the friend in the other way. In spite of repeatedly asked by the king about the reason of his entry into the bedroom on that night, he kept mum. But when hear the king's irritated words he told the birds talking and became a stone statue. Then the king felt bad and rescued his friend with great effort by consulting seniors.
    Similarly the real friend never give up his friend.

  • #781461
    It is a complex issue to understand human nature so we should not rush to a conclusion regarding their inconsistent behaviour. Many people are talking reasonably giving the impression that they are honest men. The situation might not always be correct. This can be tasted only when they ask for a loan of a heavy amount and finally, we discover that the payments were not made despite multiple approaches.
    I would not say all human beings exhibit a similar nature. There is a chance that we come across such people not consistent in their approach. They simply provide us with bitter experiences providing us a warning to be extra careful in money transaction issues.


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