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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    I have started: Who can conclude it appropriately?

    My unfinished mystery story:
    ------------------------------------
    In the center of Vizag, on the busy main thoroughfare, Ravi found an enigmatic note kept in his trouser pocket. "Meet me by the old lighthouse at 10 p.m. Never put your confidence in anyone." The urgency was evident despite the messy ink in which the note was written.

    Ravi's caution gave way to curiosity as the clock approached 10. He reached near the lighthouse and was overwhelmed by the eerie shadow formed by the imposing structure of the lighthouse. He headed towards the lighthouse. His heart thumping, he walked closer as the sea wind whispered secrets.

    Ravi observed a black silhouette near the boundary, with his countenance concealed by the obscurity. Ravi cried out, but there was no response. Abruptly, the far-off wail of a siren resounded throughout the darkness. The stranger was gone from sight when Ravi turned around.
    --------------------------------
    I request creative members of ISC to write the concluding part of this unfinished mystery story in less than 150 words.

    The best entry will get a virtual gift.
  • #781800
    Ravi believed his eyes more than his brain and was sure that the person hiding behind the silhouette was nearby only, may be trying to get behind some rock.
    He was able to manage to see things in the faint light but was not sure about the person in which direction it drifted. His curiosity further accelerated and he was determined to find out about the figure which was by all means an alive person.
    Ravi never believed in ghosts of any kind and was a rational person believing that every mystery had a logical solution.
    He slowly moved out from the light house in the direction that he calculated from his last vision and more he walked away the light became dimmer and dimmer.
    It was sultry but not cold as summer was at its last pangs and temperatures in night came down significantly.
    Some slight noise as if someone was following him made him alert and he turned back. The figure was following him silently. So, he is really interested to meet me Ravi thought.
    Ravi remained in his place and in low voice asked, "I am Ravi. You wanted to meet me?"
    The figure removed his headgear and came near to him. Ravi was much surprised. He immediately recognised Kamal, his classmate in HSC.
    "Oh God, what are you doing here?", Ravi yelled.
    "Sorry Ravi for calling you at this late hour but it was urgent", Kamal pleaded.
    Ravi's mind went back to the college days where Kamal was doing B. A. from a college and he was doing B.B.A. from another college. Kamal loved a girl and in that connection had fight with a group of students and one of the students was wounded severely and Kamal was jailed for 2 years.
    Ravi came back from his memories and told Kamal to tell the matter.
    Kamal was having tears in his eyes. He narrated his story to Ravi.
    After getting out of jail Kamal did not have courage to meet the girl and he left his town and went to some other place for a livelihood and was doing odd jobs to earn a living. It was a coincidence that Ravi was doing a job in the same town. Kamal one day saw Ravi coming out of some office and followed him and then without getting noticed passed the note to him.
    He wanted Ravi to meet that girl and tell her about him that what happened was a chance and not intentional and if the girl agreed Kamal was ready to restart the relationship.
    Ravi felt bad about Kamal. Ravi knew that the girl was already married and there was nothing left for Kamal to search in that relationship. He told the truth to Kamal and consoled him that he should forget the past and start a fresh life.
    Kamal simply thanked him for the information and slowly drifted back in the dark.

    Knowledge is power.

  • #781812
    In the main post, I forgot to mention the last day. I hope willing members will definitely submit their entries by 27th August 2024, 12 Midnight.
    Billo Rani kahon to abhi jaan de doon: Oh dear Billo, if you ask, I will give my life

  • #781815
    Ravi is becoming very anxious to know about the shadow that is visible to him. Slowly he started walking towards that place. As he was going near the lighthouse, he saw two people sitting there and discussing with each other.
    As he went near them, he was able to hear their discussion. As they heard the sounds they looked back and Ravi recognized them as two of his colleagues working together.
    They are Raju and Sumati. Both of them are working with Ravi in the same organization. They are in love and their families are not accepting their marriage. So, both of them came out without information to their family members.
    As Ravi is very cooperative with them, they want the help of him in getting their registered marriage. He took them to his house and made arrangements for their registered marriage

    drrao
    always confident

  • #781911
    I am extremely sorry for not declaring the result in time.

    The last date for submission of entry was 27th August 2024 (12 Midnight). Only two entries have been received from Umesh Sir and Dr. Rao Sir. I salute their spirit.

    Out of these two entries, I find the entry submitted by Umesh Sir is better. So, he will receive a virtual gift from me.

    Finally, if the Forum post is not closed, I will submit the concluding part of the mystery story which I myself initiated, within a day or two.

    Billo Rani kahon to abhi jaan de doon: Oh dear Billo, if you ask, I will give my life

  • #781919
    Partha, we are curiously waiting for your creative concluding part.
    Knowledge is power.

  • #781923
    Partha Sir, Thank you for your good words and I am trying to improve my skills by taking part in such contests. Thank you for providing me a chance. Waiting to read your creative conclusion for the beginning.
    drrao
    always confident

  • #781931
    I have also attempted the concluding part of the mystery story. I am now sharing the concluding part with others.

    ------------------------------------

    Ravi spun towards the lighthouse, his eyes searching the stranger. The night was still, except for the regular crash of waves. A faint rustling sound made him freeze. Slowly, he turned to see a small envelope lying where the silhouette had stood earlier.

    He picked it up, feeling its weight. Inside was a worn photograph of a young boy, eyes wide with fear, and a familiar pendant around his neck—Ravi's pendant, one he had lost many years ago. Along with the photo, there was a note, scrawled in the same messy ink: "Remember. Only you can reveal the truth."

    Ravi's mind started running. Who was this boy? And why did he have Ravi's pendant? Suddenly, the lighthouse beacon swung across the shore, illuminating a figure in the distance: it was his own reflection, staring back at him from the glass.

    Chills ran down his spine. The pieces clicked into place. This was not a warning but a reminder. His past had come back, and the truth lay hidden in the lighthouse, waiting to be uncovered.He approached the lighthouse door, the old key from his pocket ultimately fitting  into the rusty lock.

    As the door creaked open, Ravi stepped inside, his eyes adjusting to the darkness. A spiral staircase led upwards, each step producing an echo.At the top, he found a small room. Dust covered old papers and maps, and in the centre, there was a chest with its lid slightly open. Ravi's hands trembled as he lifted it open, revealing more photographs, letters, and a diary.

    The diary's first page stated: "To my son, Ravi. If you are reading this, then please understand that the time has come for you to know the truth about our family." His father's handwriting brought tears to his eyes. Ravi's heart pounded as he began to read, the secrets of his past unraveling before him. The truth was more than he could have ever imagined: It  was a legacy of betrayal, hidden fortunes, and a mystery which only he could solve.

    As the early morning light entered through the cracks, Ravi knew his life would never be the same again. The lighthouse had not just guarded the shore; it also had guarded the secrets of his own existence. And now, he was ready to face them.

    The early morning breeze coming from the sea rejuvenated Ravi. He started his new journey to decipher his past.

    Billo Rani kahon to abhi jaan de doon: Oh dear Billo, if you ask, I will give my life

  • #781932
    I tried to make the story more dramatic, so the second part has become lengthier. Even then, I expect that the members would express their opinion about the quality of this mystery story of mine.
    Billo Rani kahon to abhi jaan de doon: Oh dear Billo, if you ask, I will give my life

  • #781933
    Wonderful conclusion by both Partha and Umesh. Bit saddened though on Kamal not being able to unite with his lady love. Dr Rao's effort is also appreciable. Yes, there was quite an eerie feeling while going through your story Partha. Since the past of Ravi still remains to be deciphered, maybe you can have a sequel for the same, sometime later. Definitely your efforts in doing your bit in keeping the forum active deserves a virtual gift. By the way, I too had thought of giving a conclusion to the story, however, ultimately it went out of my mind.
    Patience and perseverance pays

  • #781936
    Partha sir, A very good conclusion you gave even though you have crossed the word limit set by you in the contest. I think both you and Umesh exceeded the word limit. I have taken your conditions seriously and tried to limit the words to less than 150. You excellently narrated the story and your narration always deserves appreciation.
    drrao
    always confident

  • #781944
    It was an interesting contest and members have contributed good continuations to part-1. The background of light house, night time, and lonely surroundings have added to the mystery.
    Thoughts exchanged is knowledge gained.

  • #781948
    Dr. Rao Sir (#781936): I knew that I crossed the word limit earlier set by myself. I admitted it in my previous response (#781936).

    At the same time, as there were only two responses, I did not count the words of the entry submitted by you or by Umesh Sir. If there were considerable number of entries, I would have applied this filter.

    Billo Rani kahon to abhi jaan de doon: Oh dear Billo, if you ask, I will give my life


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