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  • Category: Miscellaneous

    Some Parents are more inclined towards daughters than sons

    I am observing some parents who are in their 60s and 70s. They show much interest towards their daughters more than their sons. In earlier days the communication between a daughter and her parents was very limited as there were no mobile phones and only letter writing was the only mode to be in touch with them. These days the situation is different. Communication is very fast. So parents try to contact their daughters on a day-to-day basis but they never try to contact sons or their spouses. They say the son has to make a call and enquire about their well-being.

    I have come across some parents who are staying in their oldage with their son and his family. They are well-taken care of by son as well as their daughter-in-law. But parents try to find some or the other fault with their daughter-in-law. Mothers-in -law show a lot of discrimination. I fail to understand the reasons for this behaviour. Mother, daughter and daughter-in-law are females only. Even then why this discrimination? This is my observation of late. If I am wrong I may be excused.
  • #782090
    The trend mentioned by the author is very clearly observable in the present society. Sons are generally confined to their families and do not care much for the parents. On the other hand girls are generally much attached to their mothers and try to take care of them and that is the reason why parents are more inclined towards the daughters as well as the son-in-law.
    Knowledge is power.

  • #782091
    Umesh, I agree with you that these days some of the sons are not taking care of their parents. But what I mentioned in this thread is about the parents who do not have a soft corner towards their sons and spouses even though they are taking care of them well and providing all the comforts that are required for their parents to lead a happy life. Did you come across any such parents?
    drrao
    always confident

  • #782092
    What the author has observed in the post is that the mother-in-law cannot remain silent in their son's house. They would not be obliged to their daughters-in-law for their care. It might be because the ladies sometimes become oversentimental considering several issues simultaneously. There might be ego - issues even and despite their best efforts, such issues cannot be patched up so easily.
    Considering that the parents are in their daughter's house, the relationship between the mother and daughter does not become strained due to the close affinity of the mother and daughter pair. Hence the relationship remains comfortable despite some odds occurring casually.

  • #782093
    The matter is very simple. Blood is thicker than water. Mother feels more affectionate and attached to her own children than the son/daughter-in-law.
    While a daughter feels more attached and keeps good communication and care to her own mother, she herself will not show the same attitude towards her mother-in-law. That daughter will have influence on her husband and she will tilt her husband's care and attention towards her own parents than his parents. So the mother-in-law feels her son-in-law is better than her own son.
    The same logic works on the family's son and daughter-in-law too.

    The male parents on both families generally stay consciously, logically and rationally, inert, balanced or to some extent properly detached, so that they do not bother or interfere in these ego clash affairs unless compelled to for their own sake of existence and peace.

  • #782108
    The similar situation was very worst in those days. Later some development found but nowadays getting worst. Moreover presently ladies in the houses are not much inclined towards any of their child irrespective of male or female. In one of house nearby to mine, the mother of the house herself treated her only daughter very badly and often told her husband about the child abusively and made her husband also not showing any kindness towards the child. This makes the child poor in study and other attitudes. If anybody seen this and advise the parents the situation gets worse.
    In Radha Soamy Satsang Beas, there is a video on the importance of female child. One can watch the video in the following link
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jCuw-6qewyU

  • #782128
    Yes. There are people of all types. Some parents feel their children are taking away their time and not allowing them to enjoy. Is it, not cruelty? Is it not the responsibility of the parents to take care of their children? In many house the old grandparents are spending time with these kids.
    drrao
    always confident

  • #782144
    Being a daughter and daughter-in-law , i agree with your point. My parents even think same. They are happy that i am working and my husband is supporting me to balance my professional and personal life but they aren't happy with their daughter-in-law does same. They keep taunting my brother if he helps her. Though the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are ladies, they can never have a happy relationship. This behaviour can lead to force their son's to take a tough decision to separate from his parents. If son decides to get separated, they blame the daughter-in-law but not the son. Society can be happy only when in-laws treat the daughter-in-law as their family. But unfortunately they treat her as an outsider only and that too forever. She will be out of the discussion and no one cares about her decision as well.

  • #782145
    @Soujanya yes I agree with you and it happened for some generation until last generation but now DIL are taking that and taking a ride for MIL and we can say they are good only with Mother and not MIL. As you stated the same statement applicable here though both are ladies they don't have a cordial relationship and hence Son has to take a tough decision to live separately.
    shasthranaam Ganitham moordhanisthitham


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