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  • Category: General

    Educating or talking about sex to our children/teenagers at home/family.

    We are in the 21st century and have been talking about providing sex education to our children. Every now and then we read, watch or hear about rapes, perverted or debauchee, elope of children from home, children watching porn or forwarding explicit contents, mood swings in children etc. We even know that during their teens, children are not able to understand the urge or temptation or change in the hormone that leads to such acts and we as a parent need to make them understand and teach them about sex and related issues.

    We keep saying that we need to provide sex education to our children but how many from us have actually talked with their children about it? There may be hardly a few of us as this takes good understanding, openness and friendly nature between both the parties. When we want our children to be safe and secure, it is our duty to educate them about the topic.

    Even when parents take courage and talk to them about it, many important points are lost in translation, and we just try to cover the topic. We need to talk openly about everything that we feel is important like touch, erection, menstruation, HIV and STD, puberty, crush, pills, condoms, etc. The approach can be according to age, standard and maturity level but we have to talk.

    What is the opinion of our members on this important issue? How would you tackle these situations and what all topics do you think should be covered when we talk to our children about sex?
  • #687354
    In a way, it is good to educate children about sex. Education should cover the implications of having free sex without any ethics or norms. The ill-effects of illegal sex can be well addressed in the syllabus. What is AIDS? How it gets spread? What are the precautions one should take? What are the other sexual diseases and how they will harm the individual? If these points are well explained to the students in high school or junior college level, they will understand the issues properly and get disciplined themselves. But unfortunately in our country elders will never talk to the young people about these issues.
    drrao
    always confident

  • #687359
    In many advanced countries education on sex is included in the school syllabus. There is no inhibition about that. India is still a developing country and earlier the sex education was a taboo subject in our society and still we are not very open to it. Our culture and traditions do not inculcate enough courage in us to share it with our children. Anyway the things are now changing and society is becoming more and more liberal and we would be forced to share it with our children in order to save them for its ill effects. This has to come in the school /college syllabus in a natural way as a awareness subject.
    Knowledge is power.

  • #687378
    While I do appreciate that the parents should discuss the sex subject with children, but invariably our society and culture do not permit us to go overexposure on the subject to the children for the fear of they may take a wrong decision at the young age. Moreover, whether we create awareness or not the internet is a full education and the children are exposed to those lessons when they are having gala time with their friends. Probably the new education policy which is going to be introduced sooner or later would touch this important issue and need to be discussed even in Parliament.
    K Mohan @ Moga
    'Idhuvum Kadandhu Pogum "
    Even this challenging situation would ease

  • #687452

    I think the basic thing we need to realize about the topic is that sex education is not all about teaching about sex only. It is this misconception that makes us wary about discussing the topic. Sex education has a wider perspective and is not limited to the biological urges that one faces as he grows up.

    I agree with the author that we should be aware and cautious about the age and maturity level of our children and must have a clear idea of what all should be passed on to the child and how to go about it. Teenagers today have access to so much information (good and bad) about sex and related matters in many sources. And that is why we need to consider sex education all the more important in the present day scenario. There is every possibility of your child getting misguided or start having wrong notions about the whole issue. Sex education must start from the physiological, psychological and social differences between genders and must include their level of interaction and safety and precautionary measures.

    In the earlier days, physical differences between genders used to raise curiosity among the youngsters as they grew up and they used to come up with questions related to the same. Parents or elders of those days were reluctant to answer such queries and they used to give half baked answers simply to satisfy the curious mind of the child. The situation is entirely different now and parents and children are more comfortable with each other in discussing such matters.

    I suggest responsible sex education where physical changes, psychological and biological requirements, inter-personal relations and responsibilities towards self as individuals, the need for abstinence, hygiene, STD and many such points are discussed with a child. It need not be like a teaching class, it can be more like an interactive session. Children should be helped to grow up with the correct concepts of sex. Let them not consider sex as a right or a matter of shame. Let it be conveyed that it is a normal thing about which we need to be aware of. It is a known fact that kids feel curious to know more about something which is hidden from them and they try to explore through all possible means to unravel such mysteries. So let us not send across a message that sex is something taboo and is not something to be discussed in public. Let that be the first step and you will find that half of the problem is solved. Knowing each other but at the same time, realizing our individuality is also equally important.

    We have come a long way from where teachers used to ask the students to read the chapter on reproduction in our biology texts on our own instead of discussing the same in the classroom. I have never discussed the topic in detail with my son but I have always been open and clear while clarifying any doubts he had on the subject.

    (Apologies for the lengthy response)


    'Mastering others is strength. Mastering yourself is true power'. -Lao Tzu

  • #687457
    Frankly speaking.
    We have spoiled ourselves. Sex is holy and a secret affair for human beings. As fishes need not learn swimming, human beings need not learn or taught about sex. We are not animal beings. Children learn about sex through their friends and books, not parents. Sex is a pleasure subject to human beings. All aspects of the subject sex can be taught in school by teachers of respective genders. I do not recommend discussion on sex at home by parents or siblings.

    Let Sex be a secret subject at home, and be a open subject in the public to learn and understand.

    No life without Sun

  • #687479
    Sex is the essential part in human life and in fact, students should be familiar with some of grave do diseases such as AIDS and other sexual diseases with which one may be inflicted if proper education on that direction is not provided to adolescents. In India, parents hesitate in providing knowledge in such a topic. Hence the kids are forced to learn on this subjects from their seniors or through some cheap books and the knowledge so collected may sometimes be dangerous in their future life. It needs to be resolved through schools by providing them right inputs in this subject. The kids might have several questions relating to this topic and redressal of the same will help them to lead a peaceful married life.

  • #687572
    Whether or not parents should guide their children about sex-related issues unhesitatingly and whether or not sex education should be given in schools to boys and girls isn't a new topic for discussion or debate. In the west sex education is given in schools.

    My question is what the point is in sharing 'such information' to children at home.
    I know a person who has such views which some of the members have in this thread. He'd talk on this matter to his 10 years old child. Listening all this, initially, the child was uncomfortable and shy before him but when he grew up he became like a friend to his father and he began to share all his secret relationship and acts of debauchery to his father and the intelligent father never stopped his son from those activities.

    {Please do not forget the forum guidelines at any time while posting any content in ISC- Editor}

  • #687594
    Indian society has always been open about sexual and reproductive education ever since its civilization. Every generation passes its experience to the next generation in various forms as teaching, parental care , through genes and through its civilization resources. This is true of not only us but every species in general. And further sex is always seen as a way of sustaining the race. In this context Indian society has practiced polyandry to polygamy depending on needs and sexual conduct is a well regulated to meet societal needs. Indian text Kamasutra is well renowned for scientific sexual content. Kajuraho temples has sexual postures which is a matter of debate of Archaeologists recently.
    Now human species is unique it as such it covers its reproductive parts from its own kind. This too has several societal reasons . This has huge psychological implications in the mind of every human being. Now basic sexual urge is transmitted through genes. But understanding of biology and other reproductive related mood swings is only after marriage in Indian scenario. This obviously is the reason for many misconception over the opposite sex which is one of the main reason for sexual offences. I am not to be misunderstood as against dressing or being radical or reverting back to tribal ways of life . But I am of the view the younger generation needs to be given open information of this subject at a much earlier stage than marriage age. This must be subject of open discussion and not something to be a secret.
    And Indian society made polyandry during few stages to increase population. When need of men increased polygamy was accepted due to lack of men. Then monogamy was made societal norm to control population. Now we have entered a phase where we speak of population reduction. And new reproductive technologies mean females don't need men anymore for sustaining population. And further concepts of LGBTQ rights is being given importance. Fertility rate is decreasing. All this will lead to revolutionary changes in societal norms. Particularly when need of men is not required the entire relationship between a male and female may undergo change and it depends upon girls to give a suitable role to men in society.
    So sexual education is needed and it is an evolving subject even for adults.

  • #687635
    Many of the comments coming from members are the same that I normally think of. We have various platforms of getting information but why not from the most reliable source, that is our parents? We all know that our parents are the only people who would always like us to win, prosper and be prepared for any circumstances then why do they refrain from providing the most and required subject.

    I know it is difficult but we can make a start. I am not talking about discussing the full sexual relationship but with age, we need to educate them about the good and bad. Now many would contour that during our time, we never had such openings but still we are in our limits. Yes, that is true but now everything is open and getting the proper knowledge is important. Let us give them the basics and let them come to us for more as it will help us to protect our children from getting into the wrong company or run after the sexual desire that arouses in every teen.

    “The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in." — Morrie Schwartz

  • #696206
    It is said that sex drives the humanity race.It is a sanctified ,sacred activity and not only should be taken as a mean for pleasure.
    We should tell our children the same thing and we would make them aware about it .In the era we all know that children have access to all available material on the internet. This includes pornography and other content which are circulated on the social media. Parents should discuss the sexual changes that occur in the children at the time of puberty and how they should act in this time. Mothers should tell the girls to maintain personal hygiene and the boys should also be told to look towards girls with respect.

  • #696207
    Mjaay, please do not respond to old threads.
    'Mastering others is strength. Mastering yourself is true power'. -Lao Tzu


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