What are the important causes and signs of possessiveness?

Do you want to find out if someone very close to you is really possessive or not or do you want to know what are the causes and signs of possessiveness which one gets affected by? This article covers information about what is possessiveness, what are the causes of possessiveness, what are the signs of possessiveness and some important tips to overcome these easily.

To maintain any healthy relationship on earth a certain degree of involvement, love, caress, and responsibility is enough. But when these elements cross certain margin and reaches the proximity things could get worse. Sometimes, it so happens that without your knowledge you repeat your mistakes and by the time you realize those things go out of your control. Human beings are possessive by nature but when this possessiveness gets out of control things get beyond repair. Therefore, it is important to keep your possessiveness in check so that it helps you to maintain and safeguard your relationship for a long time.

What is possessiveness?

While you keep your emotions under your control everything works out fine for you. This also helps you to live a fresh and happy life. But once you ever dare to cross this crucial limit then it becomes emotional pain. You have every right to love others around you irrespective of the fact whether one is your friend, sister, boyfriend, girlfriend etc. But the moment you try to exercise your right or ownership on them then the whole problems start. This exertion of your right or ownership on others around you because of insecurity or any other reasons on earth is known as possessiveness. It is enough to rust any human relationship on earth but sometimes you forget the simple fact that only material things could only be possessed not humans. It is also a fact that it is not impossible to solve the complexes of a relationship without involving the dose of possessiveness in it. The keys to manage your mind is only in your hands.

What are the causes of possessiveness?

Before you tie your hip and made up your mind to solve any problem, you need to understand clearly the causes that lead one to be possessive by nature:

  • Relying too much: Normally, it has been found that relying too much on a person or spending too much time on the thoughts of a particular person leads one to be possessive or perhaps it plants the seeds of possessiveness in one's heart.

  • Lack of one's space: Each person needs some space in his/her life and no one should come within that limited space. If one does then surely it is only going to hurt the relationship in the long run.

  • Insecurity: When one becomes possessive by nature then he/she also doubts the relationship. He/she feels insecure and does things which should be avoided. This further splits the relationship into parts.

  • Desire: Desire also leads to possessiveness and humans by nature have this element in them from the birth. Desires have no endings and the more one desires the more one becomes possessive. This adds fuel to the fire.

  • Hidden fears: Possessiveness can also be because of some unknown hidden fear in the minds. For instance, the very fear of losing someone special from one's life makes him/her possessive by nature.

  • Lack of trust: Lack of trust in any relationship can lead to possessiveness. But here trust and love are inversely related because it is not necessary if a person loves the other he/she also trusts him/her. Perhaps two people could love each other but that does not mean they trust each other. This feeling could cause possessiveness.

Signs of possessiveness in men

Human beings by nature is possessive but it is the degrees of possessiveness that matters the most. A good relationship is one where possessiveness has no place or even if it has it should be minimal. People who are in relationships need to give their partners some amount of space so that within that space the other partner grooms and matures. However, if you find your boyfriend or man to be too much possessive about you it would be wise in your part to think about the relationship twice before you move along. Here are some sign of possessiveness of men which you need to take notice off:

  • He involves too much in your social life. He may call you several times in a day to find out about your whereabouts. He demands proper explanation about the people you are meeting and what for. To an extent this comes under the tag of OK because maybe he is doing so because of the amount of love he has for you. But then if he does these beyond a certain point then surely he is showing signs of possessiveness.

  • He wants you to wear what he likes rather than what you like. To an extent it is fine but then if he does it very often then surely he is getting too much possessive about you. He may not even lag behind from showing up his anger or distastefulness to your style and may even force you what you should wear when you are either moving out to attend parties or with your friends.

  • He may not like some of your friends just because they are close to you. He may advise you harshly to be away with them since because he does not like them.

  • He may not be comfortable with the idea of visiting your family very often. He may want you to do so only when he feels well about it or perhaps he wants you to take his permission before you do so.

  • If you are out for some time somewhere he wants to know where you were and demands an explanation for the same.

Signs of possessiveness in women

Today, women are not far lagging behind men when it comes about discussing such a critical issue as possessiveness. You may not realize it very soon since you may be so much deeply involved with her love but believe me you will realize it at some point of time. To help your cause here are some of the important signs of possessiveness which your girlfriend may come up with:

  • She may try to exert her control on you as if she is someone superior to you. She wants you to agree to her point of view irrespective of the fact whether you like it or not. If you disagree with her then she may even want to punish you mentally by not responding to your queries.

  • She may want to hand over your salary to her so that she could spend it in the family expenses. But the same rule is not be applicable in her case as she would like to deposit and save her money in banks. This is welcome but each of the partners are equally responsible for family expenses. But no, she would be having her own explanations that her money is meant to be saved and it is only the you who needs to handle all the expenses.

  • She may not take it lightly when you speak with other girls. Things may become worse if a female colleague happens to give you a call for some important matter to discuss. Things may not end here as she would like to check you mobile, messages and even mails.

  • She may not welcome the idea if you invite your parents to your place and demands that instead you should pay a visit to them and let her live at her own peace.

Tips to overcome possessiveness

It is neither good for men nor for women to be possessive by nature because it could only harm relationship. Though possessiveness is there in each of us but it would be better to realize it by a cool mind and take the self-correction steps to overcome it. If one could do so then almost 90 percent of the problems would solve and many hearts would be saved from crashing. Here are given some important tips to overcome possessiveness:

  • You need to realize your limit and do a proper analysis of your behavior to find out if you are getting too much possessive by nature. If so, then apply the timely break on your behavior to save your relationship from getting crashed.

  • Possessiveness also attacks when one thinks too deeply over trifle matters. Try to concentrate on the other important affairs of life or occupy yourself with some positive hobby so that you can devote some quality time on yourself which is going to serve your purpose very well.

  • Give some valuable time and space to your partner so that he/she understands the value of your lovely relationship rather than trying to dominate the other and exerting your supremacy. Sometimes, a little effort from your side would go a long way to service your relationship longer.

  • Meditation is a good and approved way to get relieved from such a situation. But you would not get instant benefit from it. Gradually, over a period of time it is certainly going to help you by tranquilizing your mind.

  • Speak to yourself and say that you trust your partner and have full faith on him/her. What is more important is that you still love him/her. For the sake of your love you can trust on your partner and be relaxed.

  • If you have true love for your partner, you should avoid yourself from doing things which may make you fall low in your partner's eye. Simple things like checking one's mail, messages and phone contacts should be avoided. Some things are private and no one should have the right to break that corridor of privacy.

  • Never leave the way you used to live before your relationship. You need to have friends, colleagues, relatives in your life so that your life moves on smoothly. These are the important ingredients of your happiness. You should try to live a complete life by concentrating on other things which does not revolve around between you and your partner.


Guest Author: Isha13 Sep 2014

It's a great article! I am so possessive about some friends, husband. Is there any medical remedy for it?

Guest Author: Anne16 Mar 2019

Valuable tips for keeping possessiveness in check, especially for those who get overly bothered in little things. Most people can be possessive. It's good to follow your own path. In the end, we are all alone.

Guest Author: Shoukathali Abdulla07 Jun 2019

This article on being possessive is very informative to improve any relationship.

Guest Author: Alf06 Jan 2020

Great article. Thank you. As a person with numerous years in the field of self-improvement, I've finally come to learn that the easiest and quickest way to release possessiveness and other problems is through the one and only true God.

Guest Author: Stella19 Jan 2020

This article on possessiveness is surely not helping! The sentences are quite rude. How to cure and how can someone know their limit when they don't even know what's that they are doing and why?

Guest Author: Mayuri22 Jul 2021

Thank you for the help. I am so bothered by possessiveness, because of which I am hurting my partner and myself too. It is very painful and exhausting to feel insecure. I really want to get rid of it. And this article is going to help me for sure.

Guest Author: Esther08 May 2022

This is the best article I have read. Before this I thought I was protecting my relationship and family but after reading this article I realized that I am doing more harm than good. I really need to work on myself.

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