Managing temper tantrums in children

All of us in some point of our lives do face the problem or challenge of handling a angry and aggressive child. Tackling the same becomes a tricky situation without proper guidance. Parents have to constantly keep working on ways to teach the child about how to deal with emotions in a better way.

Parents of aggressive children face a challenge of getting their child to adjust in the society. Though temper tantrums are common in children in the age group of 1 - 8 years, it cannot be overlooked or ignored as merely "growing up" issues. The problem needs to be dealt with utmost patience and care. Not to forget to include "love" in the process.

Before thinking about what to do when the child is angry or behaves aggressively, we need to look at "why" the child does so? There could be many reasons triggering the behaviour. A bully in school, sick, tired, or simply wanting attention could be some of the reasons for the same. It is generally said that "Well behaved parents have well behaved children." The child could be imitating the parents in some way. So we as parents should behave in a responsible manner in order to set a better example for our children.

The best way to deal with temper tantrums is to avoid them in the first place, whenever possible. The most important thing to keep in mind when you are faced with a child in the throes of a tantrum, no matter what the cause, is simple and crucial: Keep cool. Don't complicate the problem with your own frustration. Kids can sense when parents are becoming frustrated. This can just make their frustration worse, and you may have an escalated tantrum on your hands. Instead, take deep breaths and try to think clearly.

Your child relies on you to be the example. Hitting and spanking don't help; physical tactics send the message that using force and physical punishment is OK and can actually result in an increase of negative behaviours over the long run. Instead, have enough self-control for both of you.

First, try to understand what's going on. Tantrums should be handled differently depending on the cause. Try to understand where your child is coming from. For example, if your little one has just had a great disappointment, you may need to provide comfort.

It's a different situation when the tantrum follows a child being refused something. Toddlers have fairly simple reasoning skills, so you aren't likely to get far with explanations. Ignoring the outburst is one way to handle it — if the tantrum poses no threat to your child or others. Continue your activities, paying no attention to your child but remaining within sight. Don't leave your little one alone, though.
Kids who are in danger of hurting themselves or others during a tantrum should be taken to a quiet, safe place to calm down. This also applies to tantrums in public places.

Preschoolers and older kids are more likely to use tantrums to get their way if they've learned that this behaviour works. The child has to be taught to channelize or express his/her anger in a better way. For example, if the child is angry for some reason, he could be told take a deep breath and count till 50, so that in the process he calms down .In case of younger children who can be violent at times, have to be held and hugged tight for some time. In many cases this seems to work. Older children should be encouraged to write down the reasons which made them angry or to pent out their emotions on a piece of paper or board. Since many children are unable to express themselves in an appropriate way, this method gives them an opportunity to write out their mind without being judged.

Physical activity should be part of the daily activities of children which will help them to mingle with the outside world as well as learn important social skills. This will give them an insight into handling their emotions better so as to be socially acceptable. Distracting an aggressive child by engaging him in activities involving a lot of concentration, like chess, football, painting etc also helps.

Last but not the least, give your child abundant love and care, which is the biggest remedy for any problem.


Author: Zeba27 Aug 2015 Member Level: Gold   Points : 0

Good insight into how to manage the temper tantrum of a child.

Author: Sheo Shankar Jha16 Aug 2016 Member Level: Diamond   Points : 8

The old proverb that charity begins at home fits well in this scenario. The children are the sensetive observes of the home - invrnments including their parental behaviours. If the parents are having fair tolerance and have the capacities to express their annoyance at right plateforms using concise and appropriate words to X press their feelings, the children may follow their foot - prints. A lot of training in this direction is required to be imparted to the guillble children to mend their ways and parents have to play the decisive roles in this regard. The logical explanations offered by the parents must match with the circumstances and it would not be fair to cite such events having taken place in the earlier occasions. The children may be influenced with the parental tones, their expression and the manners how the the issue is being handled. Time to time, they must be taught to have patience to examine the entire scenarios prior to their utterance. After all the love and affection shown by the parents would help the children to maintain the bondage of healthy relationship. A better understanding between the children and the parents is the effective answer to groom the personalities of the growing children.

The author has discussed many valuable points in this connection but a better preaching of the parents would go a long way in transforming the behaviour of the children.

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