How to minimize worries and thereby lead a peaceful life?


Do you want to get rid of or minimize your worries? What are worries and how to overcome the same to lead a relatively happy and contented life? In this article these issues will be addressed and discussed in a simple language.

Introduction

No human being is free of worries. Such worries are thoughts of negative nature in response to which individuals make attempts to avoid anticipated threats. More often than not, such worries are only imaginary in nature. But all such worries, whether imaginary or otherwise, causes disturbances in life and deprive the individual concerned to lead a peaceful life.

Main worries

The individuals have their own set of worries. Many such worries are common to all individuals. However, certain worries are specific to each individual depending upon their own circumstances. Some of the such common worries are as follows -
  1. Children's education and subsequent career.
  2. Daughter's marriage.
  3. Construction of own house.
  4. Parents care.
  5. Medical treatment of ailing family members.
  6. Inadequate financial resources.
  7. Old age dependence.
  8. Disharmony in relationships.

Self created worries

In addition to the main causes of worries which occur naturally and therefore cannot be avoided, there are certain self created worries which can be totally avoided by change in one's attitude. Some of the such worries are as follows -
  1. Comparison with other's accomplishments.
  2. Including other's worries in the tally of their own worries.
  3. Attempting to solve other's worries.
  4. Taking loans to spend beyond one's means.
  5. Habit of showing off
  6. Trying to help others beyond one's means
  7. Inability to say 'No' in case so required.

Minimizing worries

The first obvious step of minimizing worries is to totally forget about creation of additional worries. Many people make their own life miserable by unnecessarily bothering about other's problems. It has to be clearly understood that each individual is different. They have their own lives. No attempt should be made to compare our own life with others. There set of circumstances are unique to them. Generally refraining from following activities is likely to minimize our own worries -
  1. Never offer advice to others without their explicitly asking for the same.
  2. Never criticize others activities, whether you like the same or not
  3. Never borrow or lend money from others.
  4. Never volunteer to do their routine work with a hidden desire of getting appreciation.
  5. Never expect any return from others to whom you offer any kind of help.
  6. Take you own decisions, without considering as to what others will say.

Learn to say 'No'

No individual is omnipotent. All of us have our own limitations. One should learn to accept his/her limitations and say 'No' as and when required. It cannot said to be a wiser move to always say 'Yes' despite having constraints. In case you are not able to assist or help other individual regarding a particular matter at a particular time, express your inability by politely explaining the circumstances. Don't get tempted to spoil your own well planned programs or make sacrifices merely on the consideration that the person concerned will not feel good about it.

Handling main worries

After being able to get rid of additional disposable worries, one may be able to handle his/her own worries effectively. Taking followings steps are likely to prove helpful in managing the main worries -
  1. Make a list of all such factors which causes worry, in a bound notebook or diary (not on a piece of paper).
  2. Chalk out a definite plan with projected timeline.
  3. Cut on the expenditure to save as much as possible, for taking care of future financial obligations.
  4. Start investing wisely in various short term and long term plans . In case so required, professional help may also be taken.
  5. Term plans of sufficient amount is a must to take care of family in case of unfortunate death.
  6. Long term housing loans may be availed to have own house as well as for deriving advantages of income tax relief.
  7. Refrain from temptation of buying a bigger car by taking bank loan, merely with the intention showing it off.
  8. Adequate provisions should be made for health care of self as well as of all the dependent family members
  9. Best possible and affordable education should be provided to the children. It is perhaps the best investment.

Secret of peace

Peace comes only from stable financial condition. No amount of sooth saying, ostentatious expression of love, affection and care helps in coping with the ground realities of life. On a candid analysis, it can be easily deciphered that the bulk of expenditure is toward fulfilling the various kinds of children's requirements at all stages of their growth and development. Such expenditures include payment of their school/college fees, buying clothes/toys, transportation costs and all other kinds of miscellaneous costs. It is therefore imperative that the children start earning after completing their education and become self dependent, as early as possible. Once the children become self-dependent, the parents income becomes surplus and they become free of most of their worries. The main source of parents worries are incapable and incompetent children who continue to remain unemployed and continue to suck the parents blood, till end.

Account book of life

Life is like a double entry account book. Entry has to be made in the book about each earning and each expenditure. The total number of good phases and bad patches are pre-determined. Either you enjoy life in the beginning by spending the full allocated quota of good phases unwisely and repent later or struck a balance between the two and spread both the good and bad phases throughout the life. There is always a cycle of events or phases. After each good phase, a bad phase is bound to come. There is a reason to be happy during the bad phase as the next phase which is due and will positively come, is the good phase. Similarly one should not worry much about the forthcoming bad phase which is due, in any case, after the good phase.

Yoga and meditation helps

Practicing 'Yoga', 'Pranayam' and 'Meditation' helps in overcoming worries. One should make it a habit to practice such exercises daily at least for 30 minutes to begin with. Investing 30 minutes daily helps in saving many days subsequently.

Conclusion

With adequate planning, one is likely to be able to get rid of many kinds of worries which are avoidable. Leading a simple life without having any feeling of competition, envy and jealousy towards others, makes it much easier to lead a happy and contented life.


Comments

Author: D Arun07 Oct 2015 Member Level: Gold   Points : 2

The author seems to have come up with a well-written article based on knowledge and experience. Steps to take while handling the main worries are quite appealing, seeing from an experienced elder's view point. The author looks suited to giving such valuable advice with clear English.

As a student, I find it comprehensible to read about the issues a well-educated father faces. I would also like to wish the author to keep up the good work.

Author: K Mohan09 Jul 2016 Member Level: Platinum   Points : 2

I do agree with the author that most of us are putting ourselves to problems of health due to worrying more about others than caring about ourselves. It is but natural that when others are progressing fast and self is slow, the worry starts regarding future and security of life. But that should not be a continued process. Some people worry for even small matters. When the problems appear on their own, they will vanish also in their own. If this is understood by the individuals in greater length , the worries won't be a problem. Moreover never interfere in others affairs as that will bring more worries and probably increase our blood pressure too.

Author: Venkiteswaran06 May 2017 Member Level: Gold   Points : 5

Worry is a sure contributor of ill health. That is evident from the humorous quote "Hurry, worry and curry are the main cause of diseases". That is why we all unconsciously react, "Don't worry". Worry takes the first place in weakening a person physically and mentally. When stout persons suddenly become lean we usually ask what worries you.

I had heard about an anecdote. One very fat and obese man went to a Vaidya (native doctor) and told that he is suffering from different health issues and need his treatment. The Vaidya realise that obesity due to the opulent rich life he was having was the main cause. But if he said so, the man will not understand. So the Vaidya said "You are going to die in a week so spend the rest of your lifetime praying to God only". The man became scared and worried about his immediate death. He did not eat or sleep well and always prayed to God and worried about his imminent death. After the 7th day he was surprised that he was alive, and went to the Vaidya and told that Vaidya was wrong and cheated him. He is still alive. Pointing at the emaciated body of the man, the Vaidya told him the reason why he told so. Now that the man has lost his weight and become lean, all his health issues have also gone. The worry about death had caused him to lose his excess fat and weight.

This article on worry is useful and relevant.

Don't worry;be merry.



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