Introduction The institution of marriage is very old and sacred. How it evolved, is it good for society? Who is most benefited out of this relationship? Marriage is a guard and guardian of women. In the primitive age men used to co-habit with women and deserted then when they liked to do so. This practice was causing hardship and distress to women. There was no responsibility and liability on men. Society has evolved the institution of marriage to protect the interests of women and to avoid their distress and hardship. So both the men and women should respect the sanctity of marriage and live peacefully and happily in their relationship.There are many ways and preconditions to make the married life happy and joyful such as -
Choosing the best partner Choosing the right life partner is the first and most important step to lead a happy married life. If the match is not proper, it is very difficult to be happy and satisfied in life. So before tying the wedding knot, one should be very careful in selecting your partner. One should look for the following things in your partner -
Honeymoon(Initial) conditioning When the couple are in the honeymoon period, they must behave well and cautiously so that there should not be any wrong message. Do not reveal your secrets to each other and behave maturely. Do not give chance to your partner to sit on your head otherwise it will be a problem for life long. Tell frankly what are you. What is your likes and dislikes? Tell your financial health do not hide and boast. Do not expend beyond your capacity. Have some goals such as buying a house after 5/10/20 years. Save money for your future.
Respect for human values and respect for each other Couple should have the better understanding of human rights and fundamental rights enshrined in our constitution to an individual/citizen. Husband should also be familiar with various women's rights such as dowry prohibition Act, Prevention of cruelty on women (domestic violence Act 2005) etc. All this knowledge will shape the behaviour and attitude in positive direction.Husband and wife should integrate into one identity. They must not think themselves separate. "Do badan ek jan hai hum" this spirit should prevail.
Some ways to create happy married life Here are some tips and practice to enrich your married life with joy and happiness:
Conclusion There are some conditions and choices which make the married life happy and peaceful. Some are related to the selection of partner as stipulated above and others are such as honeymoon conditioning, respect for human values and respect for each other, some ways to create happy married life. If people follow the tips and guidelines explained in this article, I hope their married life will certainly become happy and joyful.
I respect the opinion of the author but the things that you have mentioned in "choosing the best partner", I beg to differ from many of those. I think the only thing that matters is compatibility. If you are compatible with each other then all those other things don't matter at all. Like you mentioned about color that skin tone shouldn't differ much. I think that should not be a criteria to choose a life partner at all. If you love someone who has a different skin tone than you and you are happy with him/her, you must marry him/her. The society may say that they are not an ideal couple; they look so different but it should not bother you. After all, you have to spend your life with your spouse and not with the society. Society always has some things to say. Then there is mention of horoscope and rashis, that at least 21 virtues should match. I respect your beliefs but personally I feel these are just superstitions and shouldn't be given much thought to. Also, the thing about age difference shouldn't be more than 5 years. There are many couples who have an age difference more than this but are still living happily for years, though, it is true that if the age gap is less, there may be better understanding of each other's thoughts. In love, age, height, weight etc. these are just numbers. To conclude, if you love someone and are compatible with him/her, do not consider any of these things and go for marriage.
The author has given some useful tips for successful marriage. In my opinion, mutual respect for one another and also for the in laws and compatibility of aspirations of both partners are most important factors of a successful marriage. If there is no respect for each other and also for the in-laws, the probability of success of marriage is less. Furthermore, compatibility of aspirations of the partners are very important, especially when both the partners are working. It is no longer possible for a partner to sacrifice continuously for the benefit/career progress of the other. Both have to share equal responsibility for the family and the children.
However, I have some doubt about two tips provided by the author in this article. The first one is compatibility/matching of horoscope. My parents have been living together for more that 50 years without matching the horoscope. None of their children (myself, my brother and my sister) have their horoscopes made, but have been managing in their married life by the Grace of Amighty.
Furthermore, eating together (husband and wife) from a single plate may not be hygienically recommended.
Concluding my comments, I want to thank the author for this useful article.
If some body do not believe in astrology it is his right but calling astrology superstition is abusing on a science without knowing anything about it. People should avoid to comment like this. Nilesh, do you know there is a section in ISC called family life (astrology)?
According to you, ISC is also spreading superstition. Then ISC should remove astrology from its site. Your statement "My parents have been living together for more that 50 years without matching the horoscope." You can not generalize on few samples. For generalisation, very big sample is required. Then the results are analysed. The evolution of astrology is from Vedas. It is a pure science.
Mr. Partha Kansabanik Ji as you told "Eating together (husband and wife) from a single plate may not be hygienically recommended."
Ans: If both the partner are healthy no problem should be there. If eating is unhygienic then acts of intimacy will also be unhygienic. Will people stay away from their spouses?
Again Mr. Sharma, difference of opinions! You believe in horoscope, good for you but I don't want position of some stars to tell me if I'll be able to live happily with the person I love. I just can't believe that. Marriages fail, not because their virtues didn't match. It's just that problems occur in every relationship and some people are not able to get over them. Then, people start blaming that they didn't follow the horoscope, that's why it happened. It's not true at all. Marry the person you love and if there are some differences, resolve them. Don't let others make you believe that your marriage will not be successful supposedly because of some wrong positioning of stars.
To lead a happy married life, both the partners should understand the meaning of partners and value each other. They should understand that unconditional love should be shared with each other. If both or one partner becomes conditional, then why is it known as a relationship? The relationship is different from a business partnership or even friendship. They should well know each other, understand each other and accept each other.