Expectations on bride's sarees count in Indian Marriage

There are many procedures in Indian marriages which are scientifically and psychologically proven right. At the same time there are a few controversial things that many follow which are actually weird. Check out this article to know one such weird expectation from groom's family known as Bride's saree count that still exists.

Dowry in form of cash, gold and valuables are common. There are strict laws against it. There are many other demands too that are kept to bride's family, which goes in dark and considered as normal by majority. Even well-educated people couldn't come out of these procedures thinking that nothing wrong in following them. Though there are many such weird procedures existing in our pre wedding and post wedding ceremonies. I write about one such thing that still exist with no reason. That is Bride's sarees count.

What is Bride Sarees count?

A newly married woman should say her sarees count that she brought from her mom's home to her new home. She should say and show them to her mother in law sister in laws. In some families they will discuss this prior to the wedding. Where as in some other families this is an implicit understanding. However the bride should disclose her sarees to her new family members especially mother in law and sisters in law after wedding.

When did I come to know about this?

I have no habit of showing my shopping bag to anyone (unless they pay for it). Till then, I exhibit my shopping only to my mom and sister. After wedding, my mom in law expected to see my belongings, I had no idea about it. On the first day, she asked me to show the Gold Jewels to all in family and I did. I thought those were valuables and she was going to safe guard them thereafter and so I had shown them and gave it to her as well. After couple of days she told me about a weird procedure of our culture.

A newly married girl should give count on her sarees and show them all after she comes to their house. My mom in law did not demand me to do so but seems that her family members had came across such procedure. Weird! very weird! Then I inquired with my mom about it shockingly, she too confirmed the same. That is, a newly married girl should give account of what she possesses. Also she told me that a girl in her first year of wedding should be wearing only the dresses from her mom's house. The idea is that she should not be dependent on her husband for dresses.

Then I spoke to one of my married friends, she acknowledged the same. She added that her husband was told by his relatives to tell her about this procedure and mentioned that she should bring some reasonable count of sarees to strengthen the pride pillar of their family. His goodness that he did not open his mouth regarding this until marriage. He too had felt that was a nonsense.

Why this procedure could have aroused?

We cannot take every old thing stupid, and there could be positive reasons for anything that sprouted out.
  1. There is one another procedure, I would like to mention here; bride's family is supposed to buy grocery to the groom's family for 1 year. So, what I feel is, anybody will take maximum of 1 year to feel comfortable in their new place. If the things are their own, the comfort-ability in using them will be more and criticism from household will be less. So saree count may be aroused to give this comfortability in their own dress sense
  2. Woman in general get excited and gel more when they discuss about clothing and accessories. So while showing sarees the discussions among in laws and bride can make them close and bring good harmony within the family.

Sometimes the positives itself turn into negative when any one of the people involved becomes dominant.
  1. Any negative comment on her choice of clothes will make her feel low and hypercritical about the family.
  2. There are chances of reverse judgment. The girl can be judged by the collection of clothes she possesses. Now a day more than one saree or even the blouse designs gets more attention. So, judging her lavish or scanty in spending are also possible. However that is not fair.

Why should we avoid this bride's sarees count expectation?

Sarees are outfits and could be seen with naked eyes then why such procedure of showcasing it. Generally most of the women keep their favorite dress as surprise for special occasion. Why should she need to show them all on first day itself? This basically looks like peeping into their privacy.

I don't know the right reason for why such things emerged in our wedding culture but my question is why does such things still exist? I understand that what we wear implicitly shows our financial standards. So it is again a form of dowry? What if you have 35 sarees as expectation and she brings 25 sarees? Any loss? Doesn't your son capable of buying 10 sarees for his wife? In older days they had count on sarees and that was only option of clothing to married women in our culture. But in these days women wear salwars, jeans, kurtis, dresses etc. Will you be redefining your count expectation?

Many flew to other countries in 15 days of their wedding and the sarees that they bought were slept in suitcases for almost 1 year. If they return pregnant, then their stitched matching blouses should be given for alteration and that costs few more penny again. Few sarees and blouse designs will go out of trend by then. One who knows the time value of money will understand the importance of this content. I am not more into economics but I am just telling that not all old procedures are helpful in any way now and anything that gets into personal are very weird. Let us all have reasonable expectations. Make sure that it is not be on someone's privacy.

What weird expectation do you face in your wedding, and how did you handle it? . If you find this expectation is normal and nothing wrong in it, I welcome your comments to make better understanding.

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