IntroductionWe all have gone through bad relationships which kept us miserable for several days or maybe for years. Relationships do not last long if partners are not meant for each other or not made for each other. In the beginning, if we discover that our partner isn't right for us then we can save ourselves from going through all that pain and suffering. This is why we need to find a right life partner for ourselves. If partners are right for each other then relationship blossoms and if partners are misfits then the relationship may never reach the next level.
Finding a perfect match is difficultIf finding a right partner was more like a child's game, then each and every person on this earth would have been happy and whether it is a relationship or marriage, it would have turned out to be perfect in every sense. However, this task does not seem to be easy. There are billions of people around us and finding right person from them seems really a challenge. We can see that time is ticking and most of us are struggling to find that right one with whom we can spend rest of our lives happily. This is why we take initiative and let ourselves out. We date others, get into a relationship with them and even move in with them. However, sooner or later, we will discover that the person isn't really right for us and thus we always end up dating and ending with wrong people. All we ask is a right life partner who can perfectly fit in our lives and always end up attracting or getting attracted to wrong people.
Our subconsciousness is the culpritWe only attract what we really want. We can neither blame our destiny nor others for ending up with misfits. Somewhere in the subconscious mind of ours, we wanted a misfit for ourselves, at least for time being and that is what leads us on. The relationship that did not last long or did not do well can also be a stepping stone in our lives. We get to learn so much from it. The energy that we put outside or vibrate will eventually attract the same type of energy. If our intention is to attract love then we will vibrate love and seek the same. If we vibrate energy that says we are not interested in a long lasting relationship then we will always attract those people who feel the same and thereby we can find ourselves ending up with the same ones every time.
Most of us have no idea about what kind of energy we are letting out. If we concentrate a little, we will soon realize that our energy and thoughts usually revolve around what we do not want, rather than what we want. If we think more regarding what we want then we are going to eventually end up getting what we want. If our thoughts revolve around what we do not want in our life partner then mainly, we are vibrating fear and our energy lacks confidence. Thus, our fear comes true and we always end up with people with all those qualities which we did not want in them. We need to monitor our thoughts carefully and change them from what we do not want to what we want in order to attract right life partner for ourselves.
Right life partners are like supplementsIt is not wrong to search for someone who shares common interests and likings. However, it is wrong to search for someone who might complete us. There is no one who can really complete us. We ourselves are the ones to complete us. Our right partner can help us in our personal growth. Every day they can help us to become better versions of ourselves. Thus, they are like supplements to us, but in no way, they can complete us. Thus, we need to be sure what our intentions are. Sometimes, we end up with right partner but due to our high expectations, we kind of lose them. When we attract misfits for ourselves, they never help us to become better versions of ourselves and that is why we feel disconnected with them. This is why we cannot feel complete when we team up with them but feel complete when the partner is right. A relationship can only be termed as healthy and will blossom well if both the partners are consciously aware that they are complete in themselves. When both the partners feel that way, they can give their best self to each other and help each other completely.
Create an image of a perfect partnerWe may need to be clear about what we are looking for. If we are not really sure of what we want and we keep looking then no way we are ever going to find a right life partner for ourselves. We thus need to create a mental image of what we really want in our partner. We need not be too picky and thus focus should not be more on physical characteristics. The focus should be mainly on the kind of qualities we need in them, the kind of personality which we find attractive etc.
Believe in the existence of true life partnerMost of us, after a few attempts, just give up on love. We need to wait as there is the right time for everything. If we want our life partner to be the right match for us, then we need to wait for the right time. If we become impatient and just grab hands of someone as we feel that time is ticking then we are definitely going to regret our decision for not waiting for the right partner and the right time. We cannot let all those lonely soles bother us who lived alone and died the same. Maybe they wanted to be alone and that is why they were destined to be alone. If we really want to find a right partner for ourselves then sooner or later, we are going to end up with them. If our intentions are clear then no one can stop us from searching the perfect match for ourselves.
Perfect person does not existNo one on this earth is perfect. We all carry our flaws and that is why it is foolishness to look for a perfect person on this earth. However, we can find a perfect life partner for ourselves. Our perfect life partner too will have their flaws and undesirable traits. However, their good qualities will overshadow their bad ones and make them completely unnoticeable at least for us. If we learn to accept them for who they are and love them unconditionally then their flaws may not even count. When they do the same then it is said that match is made in heaven and thus the two perfect partners make a relationship perfect. For this, first, we need to learn to appreciate ourselves and love ourselves by completely accepting who we are. Once we do so, we will attract partners who will have the same trait and appreciate us completely. If we ourselves lack this quality then we are going to end up attracting all those partners who are actually unappreciative in nature and thus commitments we make with them do not last very long.
ConclusionEarning money, establishing a business, advancing in a career are not the only goals in life. Most of us crave for love in our lives and want a perfect partner who can love us madly and complete us in all the ways. However, we often attract misfits for ourselves and always end up in relationships with wrong people. We first need to know what is going on in our subconscious mind. Our thoughts should revolve around what we want instead of what we do not want in our partner. If we vibrate fear, then we are going to attract fear and all those wrong entities. We need to truly believe in love and should have complete hope that our right life partner exists in this world. If we wait patiently then we will for sure end up with them in a loving relationship. We need to keep one thing in mind that life partner can be a right supplement for us and we need them so that we can become better versions of who we are right now. We cannot depend on them to complete us as it is we who can complete us and not them.
Lastly, we need to understand that no person on this earth is perfect. All we can look for in a person is the perfect partner for ourselves. When two people appreciate each other for who they are, overlooking all the flaws and love each other unconditionally then their relationship becomes perfect and magical.
An excellent article from the author although in my opinion, the title of the article is a little bit confusing. Is it possible to attract right life partner in our life? Maybe, I don't know. However, we can change our own selves to happily adjust to our own life partners. We are required to curtail our impractical expectations from our partners. We have to be accommodating to the needs of our partners. One partner must be understanding to the necessities of the other partner. As we expect our partners would look after our needs, necessities, our likes and dislikes, we also need to do the same. The responsibility of the children must be jointly shared, so is the financial matters in case both the partners are working.
Mutual respect is a must for sustaining a relationship. As we expect our partners to respect our family members, we have to equally pay respect to our partners' near and dear ones.
Although getting an ideal partner is a matter of luck, we can definitely make our own partners ideal by following the aforestated ways.
Finding out a correct life partner is a real task. Especially when the search time is limited. Even if years were spent on finding the correct partner, there will be no guarantee that the one will be suitable. In fact, it is only an adjustment between the two to lead a successful life throughout.
Whatever understanding is made between the couple, there can be several occasions when everything gets derailed. But even after such situations if the pair comes to terms after an interval, then it could be considered as a success. Perhaps this sort of adjustment alone can be expected between the two of the couple. If this is attainable, well and good, it is sufficient.
In my post I forgot to mention one or two issues related to this topic. Earlier, parents were comparing the horoscopes of both male and female before thinking about the relationship. The astrologists used to say that there must be ten matchings for the correct choice. Very often this won't work. They adjust with some six or seven matchings. Of course, the perfect matches are very seldom seen.
In addition to all these, human beings are also animals and they have the urge for physical relationship. Outwardly a man and a woman might seem very matching, but how much they are adjusting to their sex life will be an issue. This will be known only to the pair. Many adjustments will be needed in this issue too very often.
When we are young and just getting out of our teenage, we will not have a full understanding of our life. We will be always imagining our life as an Eastman color cinema. Those days we will easily get attracted by the outward appearance of the people. But we don't try to understand the real attitude or the behaviour of the people.
No two brains will ever think in the same way even when all the conditions are similar. There the difference of opinions will start. That will bring in mismatches. So to be a good partner one should think from the other's angle and appreciate their action. Then both will have a very happy and peaceful life. We should, of course, adjust many times to have a good and peaceful family life. The true success always depends on adjustment and contentment.
There are two types of relationships in our life.
One, those relationships which we got by reason of our birth. Examples are Mother, father, siblings, aunt, uncle etc. Usually, we call them family relatives.
There is the second type of relationship which we acquire by ourselves after birth. Examples are friends, spouse, in-laws etc. Out of this, the spouse, though acquired after birth, becomes the closest relationship- life long relationship and influencing one's adult life the maximum. Hence selection of this relationship is very much significant.
Though the famous proverb says that marriages are made in heaven, we think and work to take and make decisions on earth only. There are still many who believe that it is fate or luck or God's blessing to get the right life partner.
A lot of factors influence and determine the selection life partner. The parameters will be different for different persons. It may also be different for the same person at different ages and stages. There may be people who would like the life partner from similar circumstances and styles as one is familiar in his/her family since birth. But some others may want a life partner to be just opposite because they would have felt bored by their familiar situations and experiences.
So we just cannot generalise. The only thing we can say is that life partners should try to supplement and complement each other. Then only the bond will be strong and sustained.
The selection of a right partner is difficult, if not impossible, altogether. At first glance, one is attracted to the looks and the ways how the other one initiates talks. Initially, it appears that both the partners do have similar likings and there is no harm in negotiating an alliance. However, such a selection may ultimately prove disastrous when both start cursing their fates in the wake of the mismatch in respect of selection. What is needed so as to choose the right companion is the patience in examining the temperament of the partner, empathy, humaneness etc. Though assessing these traits may consume some time but then, this will help in averting the chances of a strained relationship at a later stage.