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The desire for happiness - why not to chase it

There are times in life when we are not happy. Our career is not as we expected or we never got a chance to be in a relationship. We try to find happiness in the most absurd things like mobile phones and new dresses. Do we really need something to be happy?

What are you thinking?

Let me guess - are you thinking about how to become rich? Or how to get insane amount of money? Or you are jealous of your friends as they are doing well too great in their lives.

Hey, have you started feeling inferior? Just because some of the friends are traveling to places that you only can dream of. But dude listen, you know what, just wait for it, someday you will too.

Tell me, do you feel lonely? Just because all your friends are in a relationship or getting married, and you just envy over their social media posts. I understand being lonely can be worst, and I mean it as I'm single since birth. But wait for a second, just ask yourself, are they happy? Do they really enjoy? Or will you be happy if you fall into a relationship?

Let's analyze

Before I start to elaborate please think for a while and remember the last time when you were crazy for an iPhone and you saved every penny you could for months to buy that, but don't you think that after few months you got bored of it too, isn't it? Yes, you know there are times when we get fascinated by the assets other people own.

For an example: a colleague of yours brought a stylish new motorcycle and it's the same one you always desired to own. He gets all the attention; everybody around you is talking about him. He behaves like a celebrity for few days as it is human nature to be filled with pride for little things you possess or acquire. You are impressed so you begin imagining what if you had bought the bike and got all the attention he is getting from everyone. Wait, What? Do you want the attention or the motorcycle? You are trapped; buying something for seeking attention is not the work of a wise person.

Buying the item of your desire

Okay, ponder over this; will you be happy if you managed to buy it? If yes, for how long? Few days, weeks, or maybe months before it dissolves into your daily routine and you start hunting happiness in something else. This way you'll never be content and end up craving for more and most of the time the objects of your desire are out of your reach which makes you anxious and miserable.

We all think that we will be happy if a particular thing comes into our possession. But this is the most misunderstood feeling in the world. The so-called happiness is actually a burst of euphoria in which your brain dumps a load of happiness and contentment hormones in your bloodstream, and you know it very well, hormones exhaust briskly. You need something else to satisfy that hunger.


Let's talk about others' relationships. You see other guys having fun with their girlfriends. You see them traveling to places, enjoying movies together; you desperately miss the part when they post images on Facebook and Instagram with weird captions. But have you ever thought about the other side of the coin? Are they really happy or just showing off? Most of these couples are just dragging their relationship to nowhere. In the beginning, the boy falls in love with a girl, he approaches her, they talk, finally, he proposes to her and she accepts him. They start a relationship living like couples after marriages. This is actually a trend young ones like to follow which gives them a feeling of being grownups. Not all relationships are fake, some are genuine and may God bless them.

Will you be able to arrange extra time to spend with your girlfriend? Can you talk on the phone for hours if not the whole night? You went to few places and just end up making a deep hole in your pocket then how are you going to fulfill her wishes of shopping and traveling. Enjoy your time when you have because the rest of the life you have to spend with a girl and that time you won't be happy either if you are not happy today.

Is there some kind of magic spell for happiness?

No way, there isn't any magic spell to be Happy. Remember, happiness never comes from an item of desire or the person you have crush on; it simply comes from within us. When we are content we experience calmness and relaxation in both body and mind without obtaining anything. It might have happened to you when just a smile on your Mother's face makes you happy and content.

Just be happy and be grateful for everything you have - this is the best gift you can give to yourself!


Author: DR.N.V. Srinivasa Rao04 Jun 2018 Member Level: Platinum   Points : 4

As long as your desire will not end you can't be happy. When you have a chocolate in your hand, be happy for that. Instead of that, when you feel jealous by seeing a kit-kat in the neighbour's hand, you will become unhappy. Don't look at what others have. Concentrate on what you have. Automatically you will feel happy. Don't expect everything under the sky to come to you. But try for the best possible and be contented with what you got. You will have extreme happiness. Share your time with your family members, play with kids whenever you have time and be thankful to God for whatever you have in your life. Think of your achievements and aim for a stretchable goal in life which can make you happy. Never think of others and compare with them. You will then have fun and happiness in your life.

Author: Venkiteswaran24 Mar 2019 Member Level: Gold   Points : 5

Material possessions can make us happy for some time. Personal relationships can also make us happy. But anything that makes us happy can also make us unhappy in some way. Sometimes the unhappiness comes in dispossessing the material, in losing or breaking the relationship, etc. Moreover, they all have to be maintained at some cost to keep them going. This is the case for any happiness that is got by chasing.

The real happiness is from those where there are no strings attached, no expectations or quid-pro-quo, no maintenance cost and no fear of breaking o losing. Such happiness is not chased and obtained but attained by one's own inner feelings of empathy and sympathy and outer actions of kindness and benevolence. Unattached and selfless devotion, dedication and service are the sources for real happiness. This is what most religions and faith teach us.

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